Then there's a little tiff between LuAnn and Kelly regarding the translation. Kelly's doing it literally and thinks LuAnn is doing it figuratively. The psychic also says Ramona does too many things for her husband, to which she agrees. Then Sonja starts tearing up and Cindy thinks that maybe she knows something Ramona doesn't.

Ramona tells Brad's elegant French lady friend -- remember they’re at his party -- that LuAnn tried to hit on her husband when she first met him. She says LuAnn draped her arm around Mario and told Ramona, "darling, do you know how lucky you are?" She says that everyone tries to hit on him, he’s a babe! (And he is). But she's secure in her husband’s love and that's that. Didn’t they just have a vow renewal ceremony just like O.C.'s Vicki and Don. Doesn't that prove that they’re in it for the long haul? Doesn’t that...oh.

Sonja tells us that when the psychic told Ramona that there are women you can’t trust around your husband it brought back memories. It seems her husband left her for another woman. Ramona tries to comfort her by saying that Sonja’s husband was 70 and Mario's her age. He’d also been married four times before so, ha, what did she expect? Oh that Ramona and her idea of comforting.

Ramona tells Sonja she’s sorry her marriage didn’t work out but that’s it’s not going to happen to her. It’s all about love, she says. Sonja starts crying because she loves Ramona and doesn't want the same thing to happen to her and blah blah. Jill comes over and urges everyone to smile cause you can’t cry when you’re smiling. That’s not true.

Yaaay, we’re going shopping with Mustafa the guide. He’s a cutie! In the car Cindy doesn’t want to sit next to Sonja. And Sonja says so what, Ramona’s sitting next to her her anyway. When Ramona arrives she tells us she doesn’t know why Cindy makes a big deal of everything, and that when you’re traveling with a lot of women, well, it’s difficult. Five minutes later they’re still talking about seating. God, start the car. Kelly’s excited to be going to the souk and she’ll sit anywhere.

The souk is bustling when we arrive. Ohhh, the fabric, the rugs, the colors. I wish I could smell the smells. Sonja’s still nervous about safety so Jill shows her how she hides her fanny pack under her shirt. Jill says she’s not hanging too close to Sonja cause she looks like a rich American, an easy mark. Jill, although dressed like she’s going to K-mart, still looks rich.

Then Cindy gets into it with Sonja again. She brings up the pecking order thing and tells here there’s no pecking order here. Sonja questions her manners and then runs to bitch to Ramona about how rude Cindy is being. Ramona tells her to ignore her. Kelly calls for peace since this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip. Well, for me it would be, but these ladies can go anywhere they want anytime they want so they can act the fool now, on Bravo’s dime, and come back two weeks later with their hubbies. So, good luck with that Kelly. But gosh, Kelly, the voice of sanity, who woulda thunk it. Guess they don’t have gummy bears in Marrakesh.

Meanwhile, Cindy goes to bitch to LuAnn about the seating and LuAnn says she had asked Sonja to save her a seat. So calm it down Cindy. LuAnn tells us she thought Cindy, the businesswoman, had tougher skin than she’s showing. Sonja calls Cindy aggressive and says she is not invited to tea ANYMORE. Oww, bet that hurts. Mustafa is like, what is with these women? They barely arrive at the souk and they’re at each other's throats. He’s in a long caftan with a hood and sunglasses, probably hoping none of his friends see him with these braying bitches.

At dusk the ladies load up again to go to the desert for camel rides. Wow, those camels have legs as long as Kelly’s, so when she climbs aboard and it stands up they make Kelly look like she’s 100 feet tall. Sonja backs out since her fall from the horse was enough for her. Jill is surprised and Alex thinks this is just more erratic behavior from Sonja who’s been flaky since they've arrived. Sonja insists she’s still shaky and doesn’t want to chance it. She walks along with the guides. Looking fabulous, of course, in white and beige, like Lucia of Arabia. Then, then, LuAnn’s camel starts bucking and she’s all “OOOOOOOOOOOO.” When the other women start “OOOOOOOOing” she gets really nervous but stays on until the damn camel starts doing it again. Then she looks for a way off before she breaks a nail or a hip. Now she understands Sonja’s cautiousness. They ride and walk off into a gorgeous sunset, making that lalalalalalalalalla sound Middle Eastern women make during celebrations. But LuAnn has a bigger surprise for the girls.

They arrive at their destination -- an enormous white tent in the middle of nowhere, draped inside with red and gold fabric and red carpet. Ramona finally says that this trip is surpassing her expectations. And she hasn’t seen any poverty in days. Finally, she’s impressed. Sonja tries to impress us by telling us she hasn’t been in an atmosphere like that since the last time she was invited by the King of Saudi Arabia. Really, daaaaaling If she’s been to Saudi Arabia then why is she so wonky regarding Morocco?

While they eat dinner, LuAnn suggests a game of "tell us something about you we don’t know." LuAnn starts it off telling the group she has six brother and sisters. She gets a big laugh when she tells them that her family situation has prepared her for hanging with these women. Cindy reveals she started out in business helping her father in a flea market. Kelly only had 20 people in her high school graduating class and she was a swimmer. Alex’s father passed away when she was 11 from Alzheimers. “Ugh, why bring us down, “LuAnn laments. Wow, that was harsh. Did LuAnn know that? No. And they were supposed to tell the group things they didn’t know. Not necessarily happy things. Sonja tells everyone about everything in her life that they already knew.

Sonja is still nervous about being in so much desert, hanging out so loosely. LuAnn tries to assure her that they have security, that she may not see them all the time but that they’re there. LuAnn’s surprised Sonja doesn't have a more adventurous spirit. Sonja says she’s older, that’s why she’s not so much for adventure anymore. And that she’s been going to the same places all her life and there are usually skyscrapers around. LuAnn tells her that’s one reason why she needed to come to Morocco.

Cindy tells us she understands now why Sonja is nervous and wonders why everyone else is not listening to her concerns. Oh, so now she feels for her. The ladies use the top of a terrine as a walking stick, passing it along, but it doesn’t work, they still talk all over each other. Cindy gets disgusted and leaves the tent and one by one the others follow and then they talk over each other outside instead of inside. Cindy says all she wants is them to respect each other and they pretty much laugh at her. She tells us they are all crazy. Hey, I thought everyone was saying things we didn’t already know.

Alex has been trying to have Skype sex with Simon but gets continually interrupted by one housewife or another. Yes, I said Skype sex. Try it sometime.

Sonja and Ramona have diarrhea. We know this because LuAnn tells Jill, who believes it was caused by the lamb. If it’s not chicken or fish it will not go down Jill’s throat. Hear that Bobby? But I guess you already know. Jill suggests they eat rice to bind themselves. Enough. We’re going to a spa to relax. Cindy really appreciates the beauty and ambiance of the place since she’s in the beauty and relaxation business. With the light, the columns, the water, it is a dazzling space. Their host brings a box filled with what Jill says looks like bricks of cocaine but I think it’s sugar for tea. I’m not really sure because just then my husband interrupts me, and when I return I don’t see anyone sniffing.

Jill asks Alex's advice on communicating with Ramona. As Alex begins to speak, Ramona and Sonja arrive and then everyone is escorted to the warm spa waters for a dip and body scrub. Kelly says you get scrubbed everywhere and from the look on her face when she says “everywhere” again we think her vajayjay must be sore.

Afterwards Sonja tries to clear the air with Cindy. She takes her aside and asks her to keep their business between them. Somehow Cindy believes Sonja's just owned up to everything mean she’s ever said to or about her because she tells us that she's forgiven her. But I didn’t hear any of that. A while later we see Jill go to visit Ramona in her room to establish if they are friends or fake friends. Ladies, vacations are NOT the time to clear any air. But they do it anyway.

Ramona right off calls Jill two-faced. She recalls Jennifer saying that Jill had asked her why she was friends with Ramona. She says that really pissed her off. And when Jill said that someone would need a medal to live with Ramona, that pisses her off even more. Jill tells us everyone has two faces. That if everyone just blurted out what they thought they’d all be Ramona.

Jill asks Ramona why she is on a campaign to ruin her life and that the medal thing was a joke. That Ramona can dish it out but can’t take it. Ramona calmly tells Jill she’s being aggressive (man, everyone’s aggressive this week) and angry. Jill says that she still can’t believe the St. John incident. How Ramona told her and Bobby to get lost. Jill says she thought that she could have made up with Bethenny if Ramona had let her stay but she didn’t. Ramona says she didn’t want Jill fucking up that vacation like she’s doing here. They raise their voices as Ramona says Jill is not listening, and Jill says Ramona is not listening. Jill claims she came to the island to apologize to Bethenny but she got thrown out. Then she stands up and -- real soap opera style -- throws her hands out and says that until Ramona apologizes they can never be friends. Never! Does Ramona think Jill would ever throw her out? No. But then Ramona wouldn’t have laughed behind Jill’s back on so many occasions either, like when Ramona was modeling, when Ramona threw her wine party, when Ramona came to the wedding. I could go on.

Ramona tells us that Jill’s crazy to think she’s going to apologize. That what Jill is really upset about is that she didn’t get to repair her relationship with Bethenny. Ramona tells Jill that she could have sent Bethenny flowers, hell, that she coulda frigging walked around the corner to her house. Ha. They both claim the other has changed. Jill claims she’s let the little things go but it seems they can’t get past the big things. Jill finally leaves, again saying just like she did with Bethenny that she’s done. Done!

We leave Ramona lying on her back, soap opera style, sobbing hysterically on her bed. Why, oh why, wouldn’t Jill listen? Ha.