Now here comes Jill, back from Australia. She tells us she had a lot of time for contemplation while away and has decided to stay away from the drama and gossiping. Then immediately starts gossiping about her dear friend Ramona.

LuAnn, looking like an eager mean girl, starts telling Jill about Ramona's behavior at Cindy's birthday/not birthday party. You know, the one in low rent Quogue. Jill tsks tsks, saying that's typical Ramona. She gives the girls gifts of Koala bear clips. Yep, Koala... bear... clips. And they looked as cheap as that sounds. She purrs that she wishes she could have brought them back some South Sea pearls. The gleam in her eyes tells me we’ll probably see a South Sea pearl necklace around someone's neck at some future function. But really, Koala bear clips for these supposedly high class society babes. Come on, I bring back better gifts than that and I'm poor.

Anyway, Kelly starts telling Jill that Ramona threatened her with her "if you don’t support me, I won’t support you" text. Only Kelly would consider that a threat. Jebus. They have threats on Mob Wives Kelly, they grab your fucking throat on that show. Please, but again, Jill is so sympathetic. Sonja agrees with me and tells us, "Bitch, please, a horse head in your bed is a threat." Amen, sister.

Kelly decides to confront Ramona and LuAnn calls her a masochist, knowing how afraid she is of confrontation. So they decide to play-act an interaction between Ramona and Kelly, with Sonja playing Ramona. Which she does brilliantly, she should get an Oscar. Maybe she wasn't that goof but you know but I'm sweet on Sonja.

As Kelly tells Ramona (Sonja) her feelings, Ramona (Sonja) replies in Ramona’s rapid fire comeback style, continually talking about her love of Pinot. It’s hilarious but somehow Kelly takes it very seriously and keeps her composure.

Then there's a creepy vignette where Alex and Simon's present their older son a new piano. As the family walks into their house they hear someone playing the piano. The adults act all wondrous, wondering where is that beautiful music coming from? The boys look scared. As they wander back to their dining room they see a guy playing. He smiles at the boys and says hello but they remain mute. Alex tells us that son Francois is having a love affair with his piano teacher, that the melding of boy and teacher and piano is just something to behold. We see said son plinking away. They tell him that the piano player is a student at the New York Professionals school and that someday he may be a student there too! It just feels so staged, so insincere. Or maybe we just shouldn't hear that kinda talk between a real parent and child. It makes it unreal. They’re so grooming him to be a pretentious asshole. But he likes his gift.

Sonja and Kelly lunch with Ramona, who almost immediately apologizes for sending Kelly the drunk text. Called herself immature and her behavior childish. Totally took the wind outta Kelly's sails. Kelly tells us she can forgive but not forget and that she still doesn’t trust that bitch. It was oh so civil.

Cindy visits Sonja for tea. When she finds out that Sonja's houseman is also a Latin dancer she asks him to take a spin with her. Oh no, Sonja tells us, that is quite a no-no. She wouldn’t visit Cindy and start dancing with her nanny, butler or maid. It’s just not done. Sonja gets right down to telling Cindy that she is not happy that she interfered with her plans to get Ramona and Kelly together. She’s upset that she can’t tell her anything in confidence. She is quite annoyed. Cindy’s like, ''What?''

She goes on to tell Cindy that there is a pecking order in this town and she'd better get with the program. Cindy’s like, "What?" Sonja tells her that Ramona is a star and that they’re only letting her hang around in their orbit because of Ramona. Cindy’s like, "What?" That nobody would drive an hour away to Quogue and her party if it were not for Ramona. That the fact that Ramona wasn’t handed a glass of Pinot as soon as she stepped on the property line was quite annoying to Ramona. Cindy’s like, "What a bitch." She tells us that Ramona may be a star “but only in her world.” Sonja basically just tells her “Honey, you’re really just a shop girl.” Wow.

Well, the Pinot’s flowing at Ramona’s True Faith Jewelry party. She and he husband have decided to franchise out their products, a la Tupperware. Ladies will have parties, sell product and the money will rain down upon them. LuAnn comes for support and, since she doesn't know anyone, nor thinks anyone looks European, she deems it a Mary Kay party. Well, close. We hear someone ask Ramona a price and she quotes $150. Finding the tag the woman says it’s marked $78. Oh well, Ramona says, then it’s $78.

LuAnn, to whom $78 jewelry is probably considered costume, goes into full countess mode. She asks Ramona where her wine is made. Ramona says Venice and then mispronounces the name of the wine valley. She also seems a bit tipsy already. Smelling fraud, the countess correctly pronounces the region and tells us that it's too too gauche not to be able to properly pronounce the name of the valley where your own brand of wine is grown. Sniff. What we want to know is where is the countess’s vineyard and subsequent cash bonanza and ask her what the hell is wrong with $78 jewelry? She also gets in another dig when she tell us and Ramona that she’s glad Ramona’s graduated from all the crosses. She’s just an unemployed heathen, this a weird party and isn’t it gauche to insult your hostess.

Cindy and Kelly are taking a walk in Central Park. Cindy tells Kelly about Sonja's pecking order talk. Kelly is horrified at anyone having a pecking order for their friends. Yeah, right, that’s why she's up here and Bethenny is down there. They oh so coincidentally bump into Jill picking up dog poop. They tell her about the pecking order talk and she says that Sonja has turned into a mean girl from hanging out too much with Ramona. She should know, cause she’s staying away from the drama.

We see the cheeky Sonja hanging out in a ball field. She's throwing out the first ball for the ASPCA calendar with FDNY firefighters fundraiser so, of course, girlfriend is on and bumping. Dressed in a sexy red, white and blue outfit with a very, very short skirt and heels, we see her turnaround pout pose as the wind blows her skirt up in back to real her very tight tush. She’s still got it she tells us.

.We see Sonja in her kitchen with her old butler's apron on. She intends to make lunch for LuAnn and Kelly in her toaster oven. She plans to write a toaster oven cookbook and says she has used this method of cooking for over 20 years. She’s cooked for king and queens in her toaster oven. LuAnn, after hearing to much toaster oven talk over the last few weeks expects to see a top of the line multi-functional 21st century device. What she seems is the dirty half burnt regulation size toaster oven we all have in our houses. But she eats the fish and asparagus that Sonja prepares and pronounces it delicious. But I wonder. There really was not much to it and Sonja says that’s because she bought fish that was too expensive. She explains that but I won’t.

So much chatting in the episode. Jill visits Alex to make amends. She brings gifts for the kids but Alex is still extremely wary of her intentions. I would be too, as she makes a dig when she arrives, wondering if there was a doorbell. How many upscale folks does she know who don’t have fucking door bell?

They talk about the previous year, with Jill saying she was angry at Bobby for being sick, for Bethenny for not still being her friend. She vows she’s changed and remembers the fun she had once with Alex and Simon. Alex tells her well, it’s been hard for me since you called my kids animals and tried to interfere with my husband’s livelihood by telling the press he may drink too much. They go back and forth about the kids being called animals. Jill says maybe she called them wild but she insists that she didn’t call them animals. As for the other thing, oh well.

Jill encourages Alex to write down what she’s mad at and says she will as well. This reminds Alex a bit too much of Kelly’s complaint pad from Scary Island, but she agrees to do it. They burn the paper in the backyard grill. It ends with both admitting they’re not perfect and acknowledging their first real two-way conversation.

Meanwhile, Ramona and Cindy are having lunch. Ramona is acting strangely calm. They chat about Ramona not wanting to come to a kiddie party and Cindy being insulted that she would think that’s what it was. Ramona is acting very queen bee, as Sonja said she was. She’s talking about Cindy being more aware if she had been married 18 years like Ramona has been, how she needs her Pinot cause she doesn’t drink champagne. And Cindy, not really knowing how to take Ramona’s crazy eyes, thinks the girl is itching for a fight. She tells Ramona she doesn’t think she wants to try to resolve their difference and that they’re at a standoff. They both awkwardly decide it’s time to part.