To that end Tamra (and Peggy) have been asked to model in a show.

But first... well, look who it is. Our old friend and newly slim size 6, Jeanna Keough. I didn’t watch her on Jackie Warner's most recent weight loss show but I’m sure she cried a lot. But she was a size 12. Give me a break. She doesn’t look that much slimmer but I’ll take the designers word for it.

Tamra immediately gets her back up. You can almost see a spike of fur down her back. She eyes Jeanna warily and tells us that she knows anything she says to Jeanna will get right back to Simon. It seems Jeanna and Simon are still great friends and even socialize together. Jeanna says she felt sorry for Simon. That Tamra didn’t bother to meet him halfway and that the breakup was entirely her fault. Jeanna, please. If you notice with her, it's always the woman’s fault. Anyway, Tamra manages to tell her about her new life without really telling her anything. She makes sure Jeanna (Simon) knows that new boyfriend Eddie has not yet met the kids. Jeanna spouts something about the rule being six months. It's whenever she feels the time is right, Jeanna. Jebus.

When it's time for fashion show, Tamra is stricken with stage fright and only the sight of her dear Eddie in the audience calms her. It's so funny because once she gets out there she struts, pouts, high-fives audience members like a rock star. Ha. Peggy is also the MC and while she did a great job at that her runway walk is jacked. Tamra calls it a pimp walk. I’d call it a word we no longer use in polite society.

And speaking of Peggy, she and husband Micah are planning their annual formal dinner party. For the catering they visit one of celebrity chef Susan Feniger’s restaurants, Border Grill. They obviously didn't research Ms. Feniger and had no idea that she specializes in Latin/Mexican cuisine. In her appearances on food shows such as Top Chef and The Next Iron Chef, Ms. Feniger gets mad respect. My God, she was one of Two Hot Tamales! They are definitely not worthy.

Micah is immediately dismayed after she tells them what kind of food she serves. He wonders if she can change her entire culinary vision -- for him. He says he would serve Mexican for maybe a backyard barbecue. The look on Feninger’s face is priceless. It says: What a fucking prick. But she handles it gracefully, instead of telling them that she serves very good, high-end cuisine or they wouldn't be there. She offers them samples which Micah doesn't dismiss out of hand but he’s not raving either. Peggy pronounces a couple of things "good." What he really wants is a fillet. Feninger looks at him, like, then grill one on your barbecue. Peggy finally says it. She tells us she really doesn’t care about the food, she just wants a celebrity chef. Perfect. Philistines.

By the way, Peggy’s new breasts are bazooms. So big, and round and fake. You know she's in love with them.

Things get rocky between Gretchen and Slade. Since he’s not working she wonders if he could turn his painting hobby into some money. He's doubtful and she wonders if she'll have to support them forever. And since he’s a poor boy he throws together a makeshift birthday for her. He takes her to his studio and introduces her to his teacher. Together they create an abstract painting that he says is her birthday gift. After an eat-in, Styrofoam clad meal, she wonders if he’s really not going to get her a real present. No, he does. But he give her another painting, this one of herself, done by his teacher. It’s OK, better than the picture Sonja’s friend painted of her at least. But it’s fucking huge. I think she intended to leave it there and wonders, when Slade brings it over, "Where the hell do you hang a big ass portrait of yourself?" They decide on the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Vicki continues to try to keep her 23-year-old daughter a kid. Brianna on her way to vacay in Las Vegas. Vicki tells her someone in their family got roofied there and woke up naked and robbed. I love Brianna, who tells her mom, “But I love roofie cocktails!”and rots off to Las Vegas with her girlfriend. She proceeds to get shitfaced, they get hit on by a couple of lesbians while they’re smoking a hookah and can barely open their hotel room door. Then she dives on the couch and is immediately out. And misses her mom’s call. Way to go, girl. You’re young, you do you.

While Briana's gone Vicki invites Alexis over for a drink. They try to get to know each other but both are still guarded. Alexis tells Vicki all about her new job as a fashion designer. Vicki asks us, "Well, is she a fitness trainer or a dress designer? I thought she was a fitness trainer.” She asks Alexis what she does for the line, Alexis Couture, and she says she doesn’t draw or sew. She has someone to do that. While she goes on and on about dress designing without touching anything, Vicki give us a closed fist, just jerk me off motion with her hand in her private interview with us. It is incredulous that Alexis really thinks she’s a designer. And she has no idea that what she’s doing is not couture or any knowledge of what the word couture means, except that it’s something rich people buy. Then, then, she haughtily tells Vicki that she’s not so stupid. Vicki says, "Oh, I know. You're just young.” S.C.O.R.E!

We see Alexis with the actual designer of her clothes, a pretty woman named Tal. She’s wearing the dress we see in the promo where she says her body is “sinful.” Ugh, it’s all goldy-black with long flowing sheer black fabric on the arms. Alexis hates the arms. I hate the entire dress. She tells Tal that the dress will never sell with all that fabric flowing from the shoulders, that not many people (except her) could wear it. Tal insists she keep the design in tact. I’m sure she spent quite a bit of time sewing that contraption. But Alexis insists, and she’s the boss and Tal is just some poor, talented designer who’s using her money after all. So what she says goes. And she gets some scissors and cuts the sleeves off the dress. Tal looks like she's just cut a precious pet to shreds.

So you see what I mean when I say --"Working for rich folks." Oh, the end of the episode has Fernanda, she of the tiny shorts and sick bod, in an argument with her ex-girlfriend, with whom, I think, she still owns a gym. And it’s right in front of Lynn. Remember her? I guess she still has money for the gym. Gotta keep fit. Those basketball globes they all have don’t look good with thick waists.

TV-a-holic Trisha B. returns to the Real Housewives beat after spending several months on the wagon. Oops, she's not addicted, she's just winning.