But this turns out to be a Jill free episode since she’s in Australia. Let’s move on.

We’re getting pampered at Saks with Kelly and LuAnn. They’re getting to know each other better and LuAnn thinks she likes her. Kelly's her usual giggly self. Kelly see a connection between them because both have marriages to older men in their backgrounds. But Kelly thinks LuAnn's road has been quite smooth while her’s has been rocky. That’s cause she doesn’t want to date, just find THE ONE. LuAnn says she has to work on trust -- with women and men. And that just because Ramona stabbed her in the back, she still has to learn to trust.

Say what? Ramona just called her out for the crazy she witnessed with her own eyes, LuAnn. She tells Kelly that Jacques is in the wine distribution business and is starting a wine and singles thing that Kelly might like to attend. Meet some Europeans, whom I think LuAnn thinks are the only “real” people to meet.

Alex and Sonja are having lunch to mend things after their brawl in the foyer. Sonja comes in yoga clothes, black coat and an enormous black fur hat. She looks stunning, like something out of Dr. Zhivago. Alex says if that she doesn’t talk about what happened she’s gonna get an ulcer. Sonja, cool as ever, doesn’t really want to rehash it. But Alex goes on and on while Sonja looks as if she’s not hearing any of it. Sonja tells us it’s going in one ear and out the other. Alex still thinks Sonja’s ego got the best of her. Sonja says Simon so unnerved her that day, that when Alex arrived at her house she found herself looking over Alex’s shoulder, worried Simon had come as well. She was worried that Simon would ruin her party. Which Alex did anyway. She says he was creepy and he’s not her girlfriend and she doesn’t want to deal with him again. They agree to let the matter drop. We’ll see.

Cindy rushes in to have lunch with Kelly, all upset and shaking. She had to fire "one" of her nannies. For the children. Somehow the nanny has changed her own schedule, with Cindy giving her the same pay so she had her brother fire her. Oh, and the nanny also had an attitude. Nanny drama, something I know nothing about. Kelly says Ramona invited her to an event where she'll be honored, but since they’re not connecting right now she doesn’t want to go. She intends to send an email to her right now but she begins fumbling and mumbling, while Cindy tells her what to say. She tells her to just say you can’t attend and you don’t have to give a reason. She texts that she can’t come but knows it will be amazing. As is everything in Kelly’s world.

Ramona, despite looking like an alien the last time, is going to walk another runway. She knows the designer is sticking his neck out letting her walk. She says that last time it was all the lights that threw her and asks if they’ll be a lot of photographers there. There won’t. Sonja’s with her and exclaims over how good she looks in the dress. The dress is hot. Ramona tells Sonja about the email from Kelly and that she sent an email back saying if Kelly can’t support her she shouldn’t expect her support. And that she was really hurt. Please. Anyway, she thinks Kelly only attends events that can somehow be a benefit to her. And while that might be true, Sonja says she knows that Ramona is always full on and sometimes you want to take a break from her, and that maybe Kelly didn’t know how to say that.

Ooooo, we’re at the wine and single thing with LuAnn and Jacques. It’s that typical couples at a table talking until a bell is wrung and then the men rotate tables. With wine. Cindy tells us, men and wine, she’s down with that. Sonja is flirting with her décolletage. Cindy is chagrined to learn that this is what’s left of the dating pool after being only eight months out of it. She has a 23-year-old at her table. When the 23-year-old sits down with Kelly she learns he’s an actor, tells him she’s just seen Due Date and asks the guy to do a scene from it with her. He has to tell her he has cancer and then asks her to marry him. I guess it’s better than sitting there saying nothing. Or maybe not. LuAnn’s kissing Jacques in the corner.

Simon throws Alex a birthday party on Governor’s Island. Kelly and Cindy come with their kids. Kelly tells Cindy that Ramona drunk-texted her at 1:30 in the morning. She found the text laughable since Ramona’s never really been her biggest supporter anyway. Cindy tells us that you should learn not to drunk text in college. It’s a cold and windy day on the island. Alex is over the moon with this birthday party. With just a spattering of people there Cindy wonders if they’ve missed the party. There’s a chilly toast, and shortly thereafter Cindy says she has to go, her kids are cold. She doesn’t like to leave Manhattan. Kelly leaves at the same time. Alex thinks it’s her best birthday yet. Kelly tells us it was cold, cold, cold.

Ramona, with the help of her assistant, practices squinting, but not squinting, her eyes so she’ll look like a normal person when she walks. Alex and Sonja chat about their new beginning with Simon offering a group hug. Ugh, Sonja tells us. LuAnn says she missed Ramona’s runway debut last year and she’ll be damned if she’s miss this one. Backstage the designer is running about saying "fuck" a lot. Ramona says that isn’t a good sign. She doesn’t look quite as alien as she did the last time but she still looks weird. Like she’s about to kill you instead of just disintegrating you with her laser eyes. She’s just not made for the runway. LuAnn says she has a lot of guts. Then giggles.

Cindy’s closed her shop for the girls to have a private spa day. They drink mimosas and talk bare. Completely Bare, which is the name of Cindy’s spa. LuAnn, Sonja and Kelly are there. It’s a bit much for the proper countess LuAnn to talk about this stuff in public. Cindy tells us they’re not talking about porn, so what’s her problem. Sonja says that the trends change “down there” so she doesn’t really want to remove the runway. Cindy says she can’t imagine being 80 and wishing she had a little more down there. Ha, that never occurred to me. LuAnn has a little something, something done, asking Cindy to promise not to tell.

Here we go again with Alex and her modeling, her good genes, her wonderful metabolism. That she’s just the recipient of a lucky accident. As Madeline Kahn would say, “It’s all about the bone struc-ture.” She gets her hair teased into a big blond fuzzball and wears a black dress. She’s having problems with her photographer who thinks she’s being to dramatic. She definitely is, but it’s all for us, really, not for him.

Ramona’s being honored as "Best Entrepreneur Ever" or something and we see her with her daughter and Mario. She tells them LuAnn is not coming because she needs to spend the night with her kids. Her daughter rolls her eyes and says that’s what LuAnn always says. And Ramona agrees. Sonja comes and then Alex arrives straight from the photo shoot. They’ve pinned her hair up better but she still looks kinda Top Model crazy-haired. And the women agree. Alex condescendingly tells them she’s just come from “a shoot.” Ramona actually says, “I love the dress and the shoes are fabulous.” And tells us that, the hair, not so much.

As Cindy sits down at her table she wonders how come everyone is blond. Hmm, everyone else at the table is blond. As Ramona goes through her speech, Sonja, sitting next to Cindy, remarks on everything Ramona says until Cindy is like, 'What?' Shut up please and let me hear what she’s saying. It’s pretty funny. But she doesn’t say that to Sonja, only to us. After Ramona finishes she joins the ladies table and thanks them all for their support. It’s sweet.

Next week looks pretty awesome with Cindy confronting Ramona over some business with Cindy’s brother. And someone falls off a horse. It seems it may be Sonja. But I hope it’s Kelly.

P.S. On Watch What Happens Live afterward, they play Simon’s new song “I Am Real.” Andy tries to make fun while Alex is entirely serious about it. Denise Richards, the other guest, diplomatically calls the song catchy. Andy changes the subject to Denise’s tan.

TV-a-holic Trisha B. returns to the Real Housewives beat after spending several months on the wagon. Oops, she's not addicted, she's just winning.