Sonja tells Cindy the Ramona/Kelly feud is still bothering her and she wants to try to get them together. To that end she's going to have a toaster oven cooking party and invite both of them but not tell Kelly that Ramona is coming. Cindy immediately tells her it’s a bad idea to ambush Kelly like that. But, pish tosh, says Sonja, if it’s at my house it’ll be perfect, nobody comes to my house and causes problems. Because if they do they get thrown out. Ha, hahaha. Alex can attest to that.

Cindy tells Sonja she’s going to have to cancel lunch because of her teeth. Sonja’s incredulous. Tells us she has friends who have almost no teeth that eat steak like it was pudding. What’s this chick’s problem? Her problem, lovely Sonja, is that she doesn't want anybody in a chi chi dress salon or a chi chi restaurant seeing her with chipped “front” teeth. It’s not sexy. But Sonja’s just not having it. She’s hungry. After shopping, they part with each thinking the other unreasonable. And Sonja hungry.

During their shopping trip Cindy also invites Sonja to come to a party in Quogue, in the Hamptons. Sonja, with no hesitation and a hint of fright, says no. She doesn’t go to Quogue. Well, Cindy thinks it’s a snob thing, and it may be, but I thought from their conversation and Sonja claiming to be busy, it may have been a distance thing. Either way, Cindy’s insulted. She tells us Sonja acts like she has a house in the Hamptons. Which she doesn’t.

Speaking of the Hamptons, we see a little family interaction between LuAnn and her daughter as she asks her if she’d like to go back to school in the city. Remember they moved to the Hamptons and LuAnn also bought an apartment in the city. She wants to know because it seems she spends the week in the city, working on her music and Jacques, hiring a mother’s helper to oversee her teens. Her daughter says she’d rather stay in the Hamptons with her friends. What else would she say. So now she’s taken the guilt off LuAnn’s shoulders. What a good daughter.

Kelly lives out in the Hamptons as well. She’s invited Sonja out to ride expensive horses with her. How do I know they’re expensive? She tells us of course. They ain’t riding any old nags. Sonja arrives in the whole riding jodphur hook-up with hat. She says she hasn’t ridden in ages and is used to riding bareback. Is there another meaning in there? You never know with sexy Sonja. Kelly gives her constant instruction and tells us how worried she is because Sonja is riding a bit recklessly. Sonja tells us Kelly’s on her back for being reckless, well, she’s brainless! Following Kelly’s lead, Sonja begins riding faster, cantering, and the, oops, off she goes. Kelly tells us she dropped like a rag doll, but Sonja pops right back up, saying she’s gonna feel this later. Oh, yeah.

They sit down in front of a fence and chat about LuAnn’s upcoming cocktail party for the ladies. Kelly says she’s pretty much through with Ramona after that trip to Scary Island. Sonja resists telling Kelly that she’s going to invite Ramona to the toaster oven cooking class. She just knows it’s going to be OK. You don’t get to be a gay icon without knowing it’s going to be OK.

It’s the long Columbus Day weekend when the ladies meet at LuAnn’s Hamptons cocktail party. They greet each other with the usual kisses and chants of “you look gorgeous.” Jill’s still away in Australia, with more than one person at the party probably wishing she would stay there. Cindy, Sonja and LuAnn talk about Cindy’s upcoming party. Then, there is so much crosstalk I just can’t keep up. The gist, Sonja doesn’t want to go to Quogue because it’s too far out and LuAnn seems leery as well. She tells us Quogue used to be considered a Hampton’s town but has been downgraded as “low rent.” Cindy’s insulted again. And then again when both women claim they didn’t receive an invite, Cindy protests she knows her assistant sent them, but the girls say that both of their assistants couldn’t miss them, they don’t know if it’s for kids or/and adults, Ramona didn’t know if it was for kids and/or adults. It’s a birthday party? We didn’t know it was a birthday party. And on and on. Kelly arrives and brings LuAnn a T-shirt with a Native American motif. Kelly always brings you something. I’d like to invite her to my house. Maybe I’ve misjudged her. Ugh, no.

Anyway, Ramona comes in, asks for a glass of pinot grigio and almost immediately accuses LuAnn of being a weekend mom. LuAnn immediately gets her back up. She says they’re teenagers, sheesh, and Ramona has some nerve talking about her parenting skills. She, of course, found the remark very low class.

Cindy corners Kelly and just tells her not to take her kids with her to Sonja’s cooking class. But she doesn't say not why, so Kelly starts freaking out. Cindy knows she’s betraying Sonja but doesn’t care. Ramona leaves but tells Kelly she knows they’ll work it out.

On a side note: later in the episode Ramona tells Cindy she’s been trying to talk to her about the disagreement between her and Howie, Cindy’s brother but there’s never been a private moment. Well, here was a time when she could have spoken to her privately and she just breezed out and didn’t take advantage. Just saying. Cause she freaks out later, for what we know, is no good reason.

And we’re in East Hampton at an animal rescue fund-raiser. It’s a walk to the beach with your dogs and we see Sonja, Ramona and LuAnn walking to the beach. They talk about Cindy’s birthday party. Ramona says she doesn’t know about attending and has wanted to talk to her before the party (Oh, really Ramona? We smirk). She’s so upset and thinks that Cindy’s brother was throwing the fact that he was smoking her dead friend Jeff’s cigar in her face. She compares it to your mother dying and your father’s new wife wearing a piece of her jewelry. I know what she’s saying but did it go that deep with her and Jeff?

Kelly talks to Sonja privately about Cindy telling her not to bring her kids to Sonja’s party. Kelly declines to come; she thinks Ramona is wicked when she’s drinking and that’s not good for her. She says that friendship is over and it’s pointless for Sonja to think she can repair it. Then she goes back to being the free spirit that she is, lays down and starts making sand angels. Sonja wonders what conversation are they really having, or avoiding and she starts singing to us “I’m making sand angels, not hearing what your saying, I’m making sand angels.” Yeah, girlfriend's out of it and having the time of her life making those sand angels. Can you imagine? She’s fully clothed, ugh, so much sand.Ugh. LuAnn’s son has created his own little company - designing skateboards. He must have dropped the breakdancing, no real money in that. The shop they visit does take them on consignment. So proud.

The farm in Quogue is perfectly beautiful even though low rent. Cindy wonders what they’re doing there, she doesn’t even ride horses. Are we supposed to know? The ladies all come, kisses all around. Ramona brings a couple of bottles of her signature wine. Cindy was supposed to have some too, and when Ramona grills her on where they are she assures her she does she have them, just not in her back pocket. She’s extremely patient with these women.

LuAnn tells us Ramona is Pinot-polar, that her demeanor changes from A to Z the more glasses she has. Who fucking knows what this crazy woman will do. She’s craaazyyy. Look at her eyes. All the women’s voices rise as Cindy’s babies appear, Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. We see all the kids having four-wheeling fun around the farm as Ramona tries to corner Kelly, stalking her along a fence. She begs off talking to her but Ramona says it’s just about lunch. Kelly is not engaging and Ramona says she pulled her kids away from her like she was Freddy Kruger. Then Cindy and Kelly talk about brunch and Ramona, feeling not invited and left out, snidely thanks them for inviting her, saying she invites them to everything. Neither one is falling for that and don’t take the bait. Then Ramona tells us, remember, it’s not me but that bitch Kelly that lost her mind. Well, that’s true.

Then Ramona tries to have a conversation with Cindy’s brother Howie. Oh, gosh, how many glasses has she had? She dogs him, following him around, right at his back. He tells her not today, Cindy tells her not today. She starts crying, shaking, telling Cindy she’s been trying to talk to her about it before the party (Oh, REALLY, Ramona? Cindy says sorry but you’re just not starting anything today, call my brother and make a date, go to lunch and talk to him about it. BUT IT’S NOT HAPPENING, NOT TODAY. I think Ramona got the message. Yay, Cindy. Sometimes she seems intimated by these women but then she recovers.

TV-a-holic Trisha B. returns to the Real Housewives beat after spending several months on the wagon. Oops, she's not addicted, she's just winning.