PSA
And Now A Message From Harvard Lawyer Alan Dershowitz
WORD.
FURRY CHILDREN
Confirmed: Women Love Cats And Vice Versa
THE 83RD ACADEMY AWARDS? All just a bit ho hum. John Galliano's "I love Hitler" slur? Not how I want to start off Monday morning.
Rather, give me cats! --the fuzzy, friendly, manipulative furry children of women.
A study from the University of Vienna and the Konrad Lorenz Research Station has confirmed numerically what we already knew anecdotally: women love cats, and cats love women.
"Female owners have more intense relationships with their cats than do male owners," University of Vienna's Manuela Wedl tells Discovery News.
Consequently, "cats approach female owners more frequently, and initiate contact more frequently (such as jumping on laps) than they do with male owners."
In the study, researchers recorded and later analyzed each exchange between 41 cats and their owners, concluding that the felines and humans strongly influence each other. But extroverted women with active cats enjoyed the greatest "synchronicity," Discover News reported.
""A relationship between a cat and a human can involve mutual attraction, personality compatibility, ease of interaction, play, affection and social support," explains study co-author Dorothy Gracey. "A human and a cat can mutually develop complex ritualized interactions that show substantial mutual understanding of each other's inclinations and preferences."
But of course, we already knew this.
THE GREAT KISS-OFF
Sheenpocalypse Then: The Meltdown, Part Two
THE JOLT OF ADRENALINE THAT RACED THROUGH THE CHATTERING CLASSES AFTER CHARLIE SHEEN's self-inflicted celebrity-cide is waning. The shock is fading; exhaustion is seeping in.
Or maybe that's just me after spending too, too many hours documenting every um and ah that Sheen dropped during his 18-minute cherry bomb on the Alex Jones Show. Wasn't that very servicey of me!
No doubt millions of words have already been spilled on Sheen's spectacular flameout on the conspiracy theorist's radio program. (Coincidence? I think not!) But the ones that we'll remember most are those thrown down by the poet with magic fingertips.
We earlier published the first half of Sheen's conversation with Jones. Here's the second and final part of that wild ride:
Alex: Moving on along, here, Major League Three. Your other two were giant hits. And, uh I knew the inside baseball of some of the planning ah for that. You told me about it awhile back but now it looks like it’s really starting to come together. Ah, tell us about when we’re going to be looking for Major League Three and who’s going to be in it.
Charlie: Major League Three. I don’t know, I haven’t read it. I don’t care. It’s being directed and written by a genius named David Ward who oh, I don’t know won the Academy Award at 23 for writing The Sting Um, and it was his pen that that and his vision that created the classic that that we know today as Major League. In fact, a lot of people think the movie’s called “Wild Thing,” – as they should. Um, but whatever. I agreed to do it. There’s just one deal point that Jim Robinson -- a wonderful man -- and Morgan Creek – a great company – need to work out. Uh, if they want me in it, it’s a smash. If they don’t, it’s a turd that opens on a tugboat.
Alex: Hahahaha! Ah, boy, I’ll tell ya, because the word in the news is, I mean all over the L.A. Times, New York Times is that it’s a done deal. You’re in it and it’s coming.
Charlie: Wow, they didn’t, they didn’t, uh -- I didn’t get that text yet, you know?
Alex: Well, as we know the mainstream media gets a lot of things wrong, Charlie. A side issue--
Charlie: No way! No way, those guys? Damn!
Alex: Why did you decide to ah basically unleash yourself here on this broadcast?
Charlie: Because, I’m just um, I don’t know, why give an interview when you can leave a warning., you know? That it’s just not um, I’m not fair game, I’m not a soft target. It’s over, there’s a new ah, there’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins. Oh, we must speak of the Vatican assassins, yes! I I I I I don’t read anything after it comes out because I will not I will not waste my precious time on on on on such ridiculous nonsense, but I understand according to you that there was a lot of curiosity about the Vatican assassin. Um, and I’m like guys, it’s right there in the thing,. Duh! We work for the Pope; we murder people! We’re Vatican assassins, how complicated can it be?
Alex: Oh my gosh.
Charlie: What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I, and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlytons in my life, um, that we are high priests ah Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom, print that people, see where that goes.
Alex: Hahahahah! Oh man, I tell ya, Charlie, you -- And of course we can tell the inside baseball. It’s kind of a sick joke for me, one of my sickest forms of entertainment is people that make stuff up about me. Just the pure baloney. And one time I was at your house and I was showing him stuff where they’re claiming that we work for the Pope and stuff and me and Charlie are Vatican assassins so that’s kind of the roots of that for the media. And Charlie called the great ah San Francisco Giants closer when he was visiting his house somebody who’ s -- Brian Wilson – hey what was the full quote? You called him an awesome Vatican assassin.
Charlie: Yeah, I did, yeah. Because he’s nothing shy of that. And um it is his job to go out there and embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not just beat them, but embarrass them in the process. And he’s ah, he’s he’s he’s as radical as you as you think he might be. And if if if if --
[The TMZ recording duplicates several paragraphs here.]
And if if if I’m as much as my Dad and I’m heading up the river to kill another part of me, which is courage, I am every character in between, save for that little weirdo with his guts strapped in begging for water, that’s not me. But you know there are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper because my my my my motto now is you either love or you hate. And you must do so violently. And the reason you must hate violently is because – and you have to hate everybody that’s not in your family because they are there to destroy your family. And they will come at you in all forms and shapes. And therefore there’s nothing in the middle. I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get slaughtered, that’s where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen. And that’s just not that’s just not an option. So within that is is tremendous focus and tremendous clarity and tremendous peace. Because you have absolute and total resolve about your decisions. If you love with violence and you hate with violence there’s nothing that can be questioned. And people say, ‘Oh, you gotta work through your resentments.’ Yeah – no! I’m going to hang on to them and they’re going to fuel my attack. And they’re going to fuel the battle cry in the deadly and dangerous, secret and silent soldiers because they’re all around you. Anyway, thought you were just messing with one dude. Sorry. Winning.
Aex: Hahahaha! Well Charlie. I mean, I tell ya. It is amazing. And I just appreciate you coming on today so folks can really hear the energized, unleashed Charlie Sheen. You wanted to talk about AA because when I was at your house, I said man great job being completely sober and you know, how important it was–
Charlie: But but but I can’t use that word sober because that’s a term from those people and um, I’m just I’ve I’ve cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself from this ridiculous model of disease and addiction and obsession. It’s just, it’s just the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning, you know. This this this this bootleg cult you know arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous supports[?] say five percent success rate. My success rate is a hundred percent. Do the math. Take for instance the founder, a desperate and a broken-down plagiarist. Stayed high on acid until the day he died. I can’t seemed to find that chapter in his silly book of lies. And then Alex try to get your mind around this as a fellow warrior deep in the trenches. Their entire manifesto is built upon complete and total surrender. Or the concept of complete and total surrender. They urge you to put down your sword and come join the winners. In 22 years the only winners I can locate in their toothless [word unclear] were either driving a convertible van or living like trolls under some abandoned bridge. Another one of their stupid mottos Alex, is ‘Don’t be special. Be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special. And I will never be one of you. There it is.
Alex: You sound like Thomas Jefferson.
Charlie: Well I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy. [Alex laughs.] But I dare anyone to defeat me on things. Debate me on AA right now. I have a disease. Bullshit. I cured it with my brain. With my mind. I’m cured, I’m done. Well, we all have to sit in here and touch ourselves and frown. Well, you know, you don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun. I’m going to hang out with these two smooookin’ hotties and fly privately around the world. You know it might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex.
Alex: Well it happens when you become the top of your game. It’s a double meaning. It is lonely at the top and then a lot of people do hate you, come after you, attack you and I know for years you’ve just put up with it. But it sounds like you’re done.
Charlie: I’m done, I’m done. It’s on. Bring it. As I say, I ain’t hiding. You know? And if you’re part of my family, I will love you violently. And if you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently.
Alex: In the InfoWar.
Charlie: In the InfoWar.
Alex: Absolutely. The media would certainly try to spin that.
Charlie: Of course.
Alex: Wow. We’re going to come back, Charlie. We only got two more points to get to and then we’re going to bring up a mutual friend and another awesome –
Charlie: Awesome, awesome. [Word unclear] assassin. This guy’s got more notches on his belt than I don’t know who -- Black Bart, you know.
Alex: Haha! So we’re going to break here in a moment and let you take a break but come right back to you Charlie for a few minutes. Then we’ll gonna introduce him with you at the same time, and then we’ll go on with him alone. But there are a few other points here. Jaws! Let’s start talking about Jaws!, how great that was. You thought to a few days ago go out on the Pacific Ocean in a big yacht while watching Jaws and you said the horizon matched the television perfectly.
Charlie: It was incredible. If you haven’t done this I urge you to make plans and and do this tonight. What I wanted to do was I wanted to watch Jaws on the ocean in the dark and be afraid. I wanted to embrace the fear and relive the movie. What I didn’t count on was it, it basically turned into Star Tours.(?) It turned into 4-D because there were moments during the Indianapolis speech, which is about looking fear right down the barrel, which nobody again understand anymore. Where their horizon matched ours, we were basically in the Orca listening to the speech. This is me not on the drugs, bro. As I said, the first one’s free, the next one goes in your mouth. So it was an incredible experience and I felt, of course took full credit but I had no idea that the 4th-dimensional aspect would occur. And it had occurred in such a magical sense that we all just sat there in awe and with our jaws open.
February 26, 2011
PART ONE
Sheenpocalypse Now: Transcript Of A Meltdown
THE SPECTACULAR DISPLAY OF CHARLIE SHEEN'S "WINNING" MEGALOMANIA on the Alex Jones Show wins the award for crazy.
Manic, stuttering, sputtering, the actor revealed himself to be wildly audacious, defiant, irreverent, wreckless, anti-Semitic, -- a "celebratory nihilist" obsessed with the Vietnam War movie Apocalypse Now.
In a word, breathtaking. And it was a show that Charlie was only too happy to deliver to us nameless ugly schmucks. So here for your incomprehending pleasure is part one of the complete transcript of Charlie's explosive interview.
Charlie: People are so you know mystified by this this this this honesty that that refuses to stop calling itself Charlie Sheen.
Absolutely Charlie. It was good to see a few weeks ago. You’re home. (Likewise, likewise, Dude.) You are looking great. You’re completely clean, aren’t you?
Hundred percent. You know, here’s your first pee test. Next one goes in your mouth. No you won’t get high. It‘s all good. It‘s all good guys, quit panicking. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment.
Alex: And you’re working out even a couple times a day sometimes?
Charlie: Well, yeah, but there’s there’s only one time in a gym if you catch my drift, Alex. (Alex laughs heartily.) Whatever. We’re not live are we?
Alex: No, we’re live. Charlie, speaking of that, the media, you don’t want to go there, you don’t want to ever defend yourself but you’ve told me privately that most of the stuff, most of the names, it’s it it’s not true. But what is going on in with the women in your life?
Charlie: The goddesses? Alex, the goddesses? Um, let me just say this about the goddesses. I don‘t believe the term is uh, is good enough, is good enough. Um, but when you’re bound by these, uh, these these terrestrial descriptions you must use the best choice available, right. (Yes) So if you think about it dude it’s like I’m o-for-three with marriage. Augh with nary an excuse but but like in baseball the scoreboard doesn‘t lie. Never has. So what, what we all have, um, is a is a marriage of the heart, of the hearts. And to to to sully, to contaminate or you know to radically disrespect this unit(?) with a shameful contract is something I won’t , yeah, you know leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers, the Bible grippers. And then I just got to add this. There was a whole firestorm yesterday about Brooke being ah, you know a part of our crew. And let me just say this. This is all I’m going to say about it is that where there were four, um, there are now three. Byebye Brooke, and good luck in your travels. You‘re going to need it badly. So.
Alex: So Brooke did going along with you but she’s not there now?
Charlie: No, she’s not there now and and and we are and I don’t know, winning anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that’d be us. Sorry, man. Didn‘t make the rules, oops.
Alex: Well, Charlie I‘ve known you for six, six and a half years or so. And I knew you were completely clean. Auh, and I‘ve known you since. But the point is now I’ve never seen you when I was out at your house or talked to you on the phone so energized as you are now. I mean you aaahhhh, I mean you’re on fire as Nails told the news yesterday. …I agree with that description.
Charlie: Well, I think it was Nails that said, and I was really really flattered , cause he got it right that I‘m not -- I mean, he might be Nails, but I’m fricken bayonettes. I am battle-tested bayonettes. I‘m tired, I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second. And I’m not perfect and bitchin’ and just delivering the goods at every fricken’ turn. Because look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls. You know? I’m dealing with soft targets and it’s just, you know, it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first couple of coffee because I don‘t have time for these clowns. I don’t have time for their judgment and their stupidity. And you know, they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say, ‘I can‘t process it‘. Well, no, you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
Alex: Wow, I am, uh, I am speechless. Later we’re gonna get into Apocalypse Now. But what comes to mind is when we were there a few weeks watching it in your home theater uh when Colonel Kurtz is saying you can kill me --
Charlie: You have the right to kill me but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That‘s the whole movie. That‘s life! That‘s life. There’s there’s there’s there’s nobility in that. There’s focus. It‘s genuine and it’s personal and it‘s pure. And it’s available to everybody. (This sentence is obscured by a commercial but Charlie is saying something about people “shut their traps” and putting down McDonalds and TMZ and “focus on something that matters.“ The commercial continues for 30 seconds.)
Alex: Let’s go over that because when I was there two weeks ago your house looked great, totally clean. You were working out super hard. I went and worked out with you at that private gym. I mean they put you through an incredible workout. You were either exercising or in the pool. Later and you‘re saying’’ ‘Look, I‘m ready to go to work, I‘m ready to go right now. And then they have the lie that ’oh, you don‘t have a hernia.’ Well, you know I‘ve seen your hernia. I’ve got the same hernia in my belly button. And, and, and and your hernia was hurt. But again you don’t want to defend yourself on that and tell folks the truth about it. But the point is is that it seems like there’s some people in your life that are trying to demonize you, they’re doing these vanity cards, talking about how they’re going to outlive you. It seems pretty darn aggressive.
Charlie: Yeah, I didn‘t care about that vanity card. In fact, I went straight on with that one and just dispelled that. That was actually one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in frickin‘ almost a decade. Um, but I‘m excited to get back to work. Um, but not to completely discount what you just talked about. It‘s just if I bring up these these these turds, these little hormontalist losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold. Because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exists my beautiful home. And, um, they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. And they will lose the rest of their lives as they think about me. And my life for the rest of their life. So, it’s again, bring me a challenge somebody. Bring me a frickin challenge because, you know, it just ain’t there. Winning.
Alex: But you’re ready to go back to work right now.
Charlie: Well, yeah, but now I’m (here?) to tell you, I’m tired of being told like, ’Oh you can’t talk about that, you’ can’t talk about that. BullS.H.I.T. Let me say this. It’s nothing this side of deplorable that a certain Haim Levine -- yeah that Chuck’s real name -- uh, mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. Check it, Alex. I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing in a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Okay, last I checked, Haim, I’ve spent I think close to the last decade, I don‘t know effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you’ve been warned, dude. Bring it.
Alex: Charlie, everybody that I know that knows you, and I know you well, talks about how behind the scenes you give incredible amounts of money to charity. You help people, you give things to everybody. You go out and help firemen and school children. I mean, you genuinely are a nice guy. But you ‘ve always just let people attack you and just lie about you. And in the years I’ve known you, and in the years people who’ve known you for decades they say Charlie is on fire and after he came out of what he’s been in the last seven months, he is, he is not putting up with people trying to push him around anymore. Is that fair to say?
Charlie: Yeah, it’s an understatement. You know, it’s um, I just, I’m sorry man, I got, I got, I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips and um, most of the time. And this include naps. I’m a, I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air and I will I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.
Alex: Are you going to announce your new tattoo on the air?
Charlie: Yeah, why not because it’s just pure, pure and complete gnarlyisms. Um, yeah, I sat with two – hey – coincidence -- F-18 the Top Gun radical fire napalm-dropping pilots in my movie theater watching the attack sequence, the chopper attack sequence on the beachhead to go surfing because they wanted to and those people were in their way. Um, and I was getting a tattoo during the the the the death from above. And it’s the banner from the death card that Kilgore is throwing on his victims. But there’s also falling from it is the apple from The Giving Tree. There’s my life. Death with it. Oh, wait! Can’t process it. Deal with it. Losers. Winning. Byebye.
Alex: When are we going to see this tattoo?
Charlie: Well, if my man um Steve is listening I’m sure it’ll be headed to you in just a matter of moments.
Alex: Well, that’s awesome, Charlie. I know you’ve got some surprises coming up the next few weeks but we’ll let you roll those surprises out.
Coming Up: Sheenpocalypse, Part Two.
February 25, 2011
HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE
Denise Richards Conspires To Become A Housewife And Other Bravo Blather
SI WAS THINKING, HMMMM. There's been a lot of buzz lately that Denise Richards, ex-wife of the porndog pariah Charlie Sheen, would just love to join Giggy and the gals. Well, what are her qualifications?
She’s pretty and usually well-dressed but doesn't really look like a lady who lunches to me. She probably already knows Adrienne Maloof, who's a neighbor of Charlie’s. In fact, Adrienne and her husband were called to help after Charlie’s last "incident" at his Beverly Hills home. All accounts say she's a nice enough person. After all, she’s had to deal with Charlie all these years and has managed to hold her head high. But that little husband-grabbing stunt she pulled with best (or should I say former) friend Heather Locklear set tongues wagging. And now she's dating Kat D’s ex Nikki Sixx. She likes the bad boys.
So she's sugar, with a smidge of spice. And with Charlie lurking in the background, sounds like a Housewife to me.
And in other Housewife news, there's a Miami Housewives boycott going on. I decided to boycott blogging Beverly Hills Housewives because I thought Bravo was going too far too fast. One show would barely be over before another edition began. It all became just too much. But this new boycott, of the Miami Housewives, is for another reason altogether.
For weeks now we've been shown previews of the New York Housewives return. Oh, we couldn't wait to see who Sonja was talking to when she said "Get out of my house, you have the worse manners ever." We were salivating to know who Alex calls "a thug in a cocktail dress." And then... nothing. All of a sudden Bravo dropped New York, postponed it until May. WT...
So bloggers Real Old Housewife, Real City Housewife, TVTime101 and Terry Aley got their panties in a twist and vowed to just ignore Miami. And not only are they not blogging, they're not going to watch either. And neither am I. Oh, if I'm cleaning on a Saturday and there’s nothing else on I may give it a glance. But I'm not really interested in getting to know them. I thought that about Beverly Hills as well, but I really wanted to see Kim Richards, whom I remembered as a child actress. It's always interesting to me to see how those kids turned out. Unfortunately, I think Kim is part of a familiar story.
So, are you going to watch Miami? Or just wait til Orange County in March. Or say the hell with it and stick it out until May and New York?
SWASHBUCKING STATESMAN
George Clooney For President? You Must Be High
YOU FORGOT THE REQUISITE WIFE, GEORGE!
Hollywood dreamboat George Clooney says he's ruled out a run for political office, telling Newsweek, "I f--ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that's the truth."
But surely such a colorful past only precludes Clooney from becoming president; George still could still run for the governorship of California once he got the whole presidency issue ironed out. Spending so much in the clay hills of Italy might be problematic.
Until then, Clooney will continue acting and using his celebrity to put the spotlight on war-scarred Sudan, a deed for which Newsweek anoints him 21st-century celebrity statesman."
“Celebrity can help focus news media where they have abdicated their responsibility," Clooney tells the magazine. "We can’t make policy, but we can ‘encourage’ politicians more than ever before.”
Later in the glowing piece, Clooney admits: “I walk an uneasy line trying to bring focus to what they do, because there’s a lot of self-congratulatory crap that makes you sick to your stomach.”
For his next trick, Clooney portrays a flawed presidential candidate in the upcoming movie The Ides of March. Apparently, he likes his politicians flawed. Or, at least to admit so if they are: He says a smart candidate "would start from the beginning by saying, ‘I did it all. I drank the bong water. Now let’s talk about issues.’ That’s gonna be my campaign slogan: ‘I drank the bong water.’?'
February 24, 2011
TICK TOCK
This Just In: Oprah & Rosie Are Feuding. Also, Rain Is Wet
ROCK, MEET HARD PLACE.
A spy is squealing to Popeater's Rob Shuter that the all-powerful O and her new fiery underling Rosie O'Donnell are feuding over Rosie's new show on OWN.
According to the source, Opie and Rosie are not "seeing eye to eye on the tone of Rosie's new show. Oprah sees it as a friendly daytime talk show where viewers get to spend an hour with the old Rosie they used to love. Rosie, on the other hand, thinks the show should be more political and a place where she can express her liberal views."
Also alleged: that the two yappers are squabbling over who will be the show's executive producer. "Oprah wants Rosie to use an executive producer that she knows and trusts while Rosie insists she be able to pick her own, fearing whoever Oprah picks will be a spy. It's a bad way to start off, considering they haven't even taped a single show yet."
If Oprah gets to appoint the EP, that means that staffmember remains beholden to her and not to Rosie. But that's Oprah's typical modus operandi; she previously appointed BFF Gayle King to oversee affairs at O magazine even though she had no publishing experience.
Oprah denies the latest rumors in a tweet, saying: "There's no feud between Rosie and me. We haven't even had a discussion about her new show." She later added, "I get so sick of people trying to create fights and feuds when women are in business. Don't buy into it. "
Then again, Kitty Kelley has written that Oprah lies. Who to believe?
IN THE NICK OF TIME
The Fixer Is In: Chicago's Mayor Elect Rahm Emanuel Faces Daunting Challenges
THE POLITICAL FIXER WILL HAVE HIS HANDS FULL IN CHICAGO.
Rahm Emanuel inherits a city staggering under a $654 million budget deficit and a $23 billion unfunded city workers' pension, a shrinking population and few obvious options for new tax revenue.
"What comes next is a bunch of ugly," Ralph Martire, executive director of the bipartisan Center for Tax and Budget Accountability, told the Associated Press.
Even as Wisconsin and Indiana Republicans face off with their state employees' unions, the Chicago Sun-Times urged the Democrat Emanuel to "cut pensions but don't bust unions." "The Great Divide in Tuesday’s mayoral election was not race or ethnicity or even the Loop vs. the neighborhoods,'' opined the paper's editorial page. "It was city workers vs. the rest of us."
Emanuel won 55 percent of votes cast Tuesday by building a "coalition of ethnic groups" and spending $8 million on his campaign. That amount dwarfed the amount spent by Gery Chico, his closest rival, who raised slightly more than $2 million total.
WEARING IT
WikiLeaks Becomes A Fashion Statement
WIKILEAKS IS MAKING FREE SPEECH A FASHION STATEMENT. The secrets-busting organization is now selling T-shirts and other gear to help finance its operation.
"WikiLeaks is an emotional proposition: People love it or hate it," a spokesperson Spreadshirt AG, the Germany company handling orders told the Wall Street Journal. "For those that love it and wish to show support for WikiLeaks by wearing a T-shirt, it is a good proposition."
You can project your message of support for Julian Assange and his radical transparency by picking up a cotton T-shirt for $17.99, a fleece hoodie for $49.99, a tote bag for $13.99 or an iPad sleeve for $34.99. Design choices range from the standard WikiLeaks' hourglass, a Che Guevara-styled Assange in beret, Assange gagged, to co-opted quotes from Assange and George Orwell.
The site touts "all proceeds go to WikiLeaks," which is fighting legal battles on both the European and American fronts.
Assange is waiting to find out whether a British court will order him extradited to Sweden for questioning over allegations of rape. The WikiLeaks creator also faces indictment in the U.S. for possession of more than 250,000 diplomatic cables -- some of which have already been published -- that reveal the machinations of U.S. diplomacy worldwide; the U.S. maintains that the release of the documents is illegal.
February 23, 2011
DEJA VU
Graphic:IAMBRENTT.TUMBLR.COM
The Franchise Has A Familiar Face: Meet The Real Housewives of Miami
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES FRANCHISE FINALLY HIT MIAMI, opening with the typical charity gala every Real Housewife seems obligated to host. And, as with every Housewives series premiere, it's only a matter of minutes before the first catfight breaks out.
We first meet Lea Black, the wife of one of the top defense attorneys in Miami. Considered a community leader, Lea is often hosting charity events and can't put down the BlackBerry.
Next is Larsa Pippen, married to NBA legend Scottie Pippen. Larsa is immediately introduced as a soccer mom with a bit of a shopping habit. She decides to go to the shooting range to keep her valuables protected at home, so that just in case one of her nannies tries to steal one of her bags, she can shoot them. Larsa was just kidding. Or was she? No, she was not kidding.
Adriana De Moura is an art dealer, as well as self-proclaimed "Queen of Miami." Although Adriana has a fiancE, Fredric, we quickly learn that she is quite boy-crazy. Lea and Adriana met when their sons began going to school together. They would talk during their sons' tennis lessons and Lea was immediately attracted to Adriana's soap-oprah lifestyle.
Christy Rice is born and raised in Miami, and recently divorced from former NBA player Glen Rice. She and Larsa met 15 years ago, when they first became NBA girlfriends.
Alexia Echevarria refers to herself as the Cuban Barbie, but despite her nickname, she also happens to be the executive editor of Venue Magazine.
Marysol Patton runs the most successful PR firm in Miami, and A-listers often seek her spiritual guidance. Out of the entire cast, Marysol is the token pillow-face of the group. She goes to her mother for advice about her new man, Filipe. More intriguing than their conversation is the question silently raised during their interaction: if Marysol is a pillow-face, what would her mother be called? Yikes.
Larsa, Christy, and Adriana attend Miami Fashion Week. Adriana is embarrassed that they arrived early to a fashion show, but is quickly impressed that the male models "carried their crown jewels" very well. What would Fredric think, Adriana?
Adriana decides to walk the catwalk after the show, just to be fun. Christy turns her nose up at Adriana’s behavior, comparing her to her eight-year-old daughter and her little friends. At a party later on, Adriana is having fun being sandwiched by two men on the dance floor. What would Fredric think?
We finally return to Lea, planning a dinner for her and her girlfriends. The ladies all get a private cooking lesson in Lea’s home, and to make things more exciting, she has everyone wear giant chef hats in solidarity with the poor man trying to teach them how to cook.
While the Housewives of Miami are a far cry from those of Atlanta or New Jersey, there are plenty of personalities that are bound to clash.
As the end credits roll, viewers are left wondering:
- Is Larsa really the most stable one of the group?
- How long will it be until she's had enough of Lea’s BlackBerry addiction?
- Did Marysol’s mother’s face just move?
- Will Christy and Alexia do something remotely interesting before the season finale?
- What will Fredric think?
WAITING
Graphic: National Enquirer
Ghouls On Patrol: Steve Jobs' Death Watch
THE VIDEO SHOWS A GAUNT STEVE JOBS MOVING CLUMSILY TOWARD HIS CAR IN PALO ALTO, CA. AND confirms that the tech titan is ailing. Release of the RadarOnline "exclusive" video follows earlier photos in the tabloid National Enquirer which declared that Jobs has "six weeks to live. Jobs is reportedly being treated at the Stanford Cancer Center for an undisclosed illness.
Read Steve Jobs: He Lived 'Hungry' & 'Foolishly'
"The poor guy!," the tablod quoted Boca Raton Dr. Samuel Jacobson as saying. "Judging from these photos, he is close to terminal. I would say he has six weeks. He is emaciated and looks to have lost a lot of muscle mass, which spells a poor prognosis."
The genius behind Apple's i products announced in January that he was taking his third medical leave since heading up Apple. Jobs' had surgery for pancreatic cancer in 2004 and a liver transplant in 2009.
The recent photos have been reported on widely by business journalists who debate whether Jobs' has a duty to reveal his medical condition and prognosis. "We respect Steve's desire for privacy, and we have always tried to approach the issue with the respect and decency it deserve," writes Business Insider's Henry Blodget . "At the same time, Steve is still CEO of one of the most valuable and important companies in the world, and his condition and prognosis matter." Apple stock fell Tuesday $11.95, or 3.4 percent, to close at $338.61.
The Wall Street Journal's Marketwatch reports that an Apple shareholders' group will demand the company reveal its CEO succession plans at its annual meeting Wednesday in Cupertino, Ca.
"What we’re looking for is disclosure that they have a plan and regularly review it,” said Jennifer O’Dell, spokeswoman for the stockholders' group, the Laborer’s International Union of North America. “We want to see some transparency.”
BetaNews published a story with the headline, "It's time Apple came clean about Steve Jobs' health." As if Jobs' himself has surrendered to the idea of imminent death.
BNet's Erik Sherman writes that"Apple’s real problems are systemic, not tied up in the health concerns of one man."
"This morbid fascination with what might, or might not, be the final days for a controversial and brilliant CEO has clearly crossed a line," Sherman scolds. "Granted that Jobs and Apple have have invited much of the gallows gazing by turning the man and his company into celebrities.
"But there comes a point when the decent thing to do is to turn away and leave the afflicted in peace."
Tell that to the paparazzi.
February 22, 2011
THE INEVITABLE
Turnout Low In Chicago Mayor's Race As Rahm Emanuel Seen Inevitable Victor
CHICAGO'S MAYORAL ELECTION TODAY SIGNALS THE END OF THE DALEY DYNASTY. It's the first time since 1989 that outgoing mayor Richard Daley's name won't be on the ballot.
Voting was reported light at polling places across the city. "I'm really disappointed," one election judge told the Wall Street Journal. "We're electing a mayor and you'd think more people would come out."
Voter indifference stems in part from the sense of inevitability of who will take this race: Rahm Emanuel, the former Chief-of-Staff of the Obama White House and a native Chicagolander, was expected to win by a comfortable margin.
"It is going to be a landslide," university instructor Bright Justus, 38, told the New York Times.
Emanuel's chief opponents in the race are former Democratic U.S. Sen. Carol Moseley Braun, veteran Chicago administrator Gery Chico, and City Clerk Miguel del Valle.
Daley leaves Chicago with a gaping budget deficit of $655 million with few new potential revenue streams, according to the
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NO PRETENDING
John Travolta Drops The Pretense & Loses the Hairpiece
JOHN TRAVOLTA HAS STEPPED OUT OF THE CLOSET AND REVEALED THAT HE'S...BALDING
The A-lister was snapped sans hair piece while beachgoing with his family in Hawaii.
Check out Justin Bieber Cuts His Mop & Twitter Reacts.
Travolta's receding hairline has been a well-known secret for years. But looks like John is finally finding peace with his follicled-challenged head.
The paparazzi snaps prompted the ladies of The View to emote, though of course that's what they're best at.
Travolta-friend Whoopi Goldberg applauded John's new look, saying, "He's getting older. He doesn't feel the need to pretend that he's something he's not. God bless John Travolta, child, because if he looks this good, I want to look that good," she said."
Here, here, sister. I'm with ya.
REPRESENTING
Alter Ego Tripping: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
"OK, I'M GONNA GO DO RUPAUL NOW," I TELL MY GUY. But this time, I don't get the signature raised eyebrow.
He's coming around.
Tonight, we hear about how disappointed Stacy is in herself. Again. And we hear about how she’s going to bring it. Again. But this time, she totally delivers!
Before I get to that, though, there's some hissing just outside the litter box. Turns out that Manila's winning "Asian correspondent" bit has Shangela in a snit.
She's uncomfortable that the judges enjoy that sort of thing, and Manila defends her character by explaining that she was going for a "Margaret Cho sort of thing, you know, like how she makes fun of her mom all the time." So then Shangela's all, "She can do that, cause she's making fun of her own culture." And then there’s this hilarious camera shot, all dramatic, up close on Manila, and she looks like she just realized, "Oh, shit, wait, I’m not Chinese." Raja just rolls his eyes, because, as he points out, the go-to funny character for black women is the "ghetto girl." And that perpetuates stereotypes too.
No clear conclusion is reached, though, because RuPaul breaks the mock racial tension with a SheMail! "In the cosmos, there are billions and billions of stars. But the brightest ones are in Hollywood. Now, when it's your turn in the spotlight, will you sparkle-nearly-sparkle (OMG, I actually whiffed my first pop culture reference – I have no idea what she just said) or will you fall deep into the valley of the dolls?" Cue maniacal, over-the-top laughter that I wish I could replicate in awkward situations: "
No, no, your children are little joys, even when they're torturing my cat. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, leaving so soon?"
Okay, so this shit is hysterical: Shit RuPaul Says, the mini challenge, pits three queens against each other Wheel-of-Fortune style. The first one to solve the puzzle advances to the final round, and the winner gets a phone call home. Shangela’s gramma (Meemaw? I was sure it’d be Meemaw, since she reminds us at least once every episode that she's Southern and all) lives alone and is ailing, and Shang is tearing up at the possibility of being able to check in on her.
First up: Shit RuPaul Eats. Delta gets this one: “Two Piece and a Biscuit.” Frankly, I would pay good money to see RuPaul actually EAT a two-piece and biscuit without smearing MAC crimson all over the breaded goodness. That is truly the magic behind being the ultimate drag queen, I think.
Next up: Shit RuPaul Says. Raja nails it: "Eleganza Extravaganza." And last, Shit RuPaul Plugs, which Shangela immediately figures out: "Available on iTunes." Now, for the WIN, and the phone call home: Ghetto Shit RuPaul Says. And naturally, here’s little miss Southern 'N Ghetto Shangela, sayin' it because she IS it: “Mmm-HMMM,” with a neck snap. I still co-sign Raja's statement from earlier, so as a snotty white chick raised in the Mean Girl suburbs, I do the bitchy scoff coupled with the deep eye roll that makes anyone over 25 want to slap me.
Delta for the win! “Um, it’s She Done Already Had Herses.” Way to shank Shangela for that phone call home, gurl. Although, Delta, being the class act she is, gives Shangela the call anyway. Shang immediately calls her gramma, and I am STUNNED that there wasn't more drama centered around this moment, since this show tends to fabricate it out of thin air at every other turn.
On to the main challenge: the girls will be on a game show called Snatch Game, where they have to bring to life their best celebrity impersonations. "In other words,” Ru reminds them, “you have to be an entertainer who entertains.” She then reveals that Aisha Tyler, she of Talk Soup fame, and Amber Rose, she of Ray Charles glasses wearing and Kanye fucking fame, will serve as guest judges. Oh. I’m sorry. Apparently Ms. Rose is also a “model-slash-red carpet phenom.” But I like my intro better.
Sequins! Eyebrows! Hair! Padded asscheeks! It’s dress up time, and Manila, sick of all the "Asian talk" earlier in the day, decides to go as…another Asian. I’ll wait to tell you which one, though, because it’s FABULOUS, and in true queen fashion, fabulous things deserve a big, fabulous unveiling.
Raja settles on Tyra, which turns out BRILLIANTLY. Alexis settles on a “pregnant, butch Alicia Keys.” Yara decides on Amy Winehouse, and reassures Ru that she's been “watching Hottie Potter” for help turning her thick Puerto Rican accent into a smooth British one. I probably don’t need to point out that this is one magic trick even Hogwarts can’t turn. I'm also concerned about Delta, who chose to go as Cher. And so is Ru, who warns her that "Cher’s a fan of the show, so she'll be watching, and every queen that’s ever done her will be too. But no pressure or anything."
And then there's Stacy, who’s struggling mightily with her decision to go as Anna Nicole. Ru asks her how she's going to convey that she’s Anna, and Stacy points to her shoes and purse, which are pink. I hear the flat trumpets: WAA-WAAAAAAA. “You’re going to rely on your pink shoes and purse?” Ru tears into Stacy a little here, reminding her that she really needs to bring it this week, and how she said she’d bring it last week, and uh, forgive me, Shangela: it ain't being brought'n. Stacy breaks down and Shangela helps her figure out a new character, which turns out to be sheer genius: Mo'Nique.
So okay, here’s how it all goes down: the girls come out and have to match their "fill-in-the-blank" answers to Amber and Aisha’s. The standout stars are Manila, who shines as IMELDA FUCKING MARCOS, and manages to add a pair of shoes to her table every time the camera pans to her; Stacy as Mo’Nique's character in Precious, who snaps at everyone, smokes cigarettes and grumbles incoherently about a chicken leg every now and then; Raja, who’s spastic Tyra is dead-on and laugh out loud funny; and Alexis, who absolutely NAILS Alicia Keys. Well, actually, that's Swizz Beats who does that, but you know what I mean.
Of course, there are haters. Shangela, who pretty much misses with her Tina Turner impression, snipes about the Imelda getup on Manila: "Well, at least this time she picked a Filipino." Mariah’s Joan Crawford is a nightmare – no intensity, all camp. Same with Yara’s Amy Winehouse: the accent really doesn’t help it, because she doesn’t play it up as a feature. Carmen’s J.Lo is kinda weak, but that’s not really her fault -- the real thing’s pretty lame, too.
So for the elimination ceremony, everyone's supposed to just look fab in their favorite drag, but as Carmen reveals, "no one’s feeling very confident tonight."
The vibe in the dressing room this episode is all about “Look how deep we are.” First, a stimulating discussion about race; now, a stirring debate: What makes a good impersonator vs. a good illusionist? And yet again, RuPaul cuts like a fierce drag queen knife through the conversation with a strut down her own runway. Tonight, she’s joined by Santino Rice, Michelle Visage, Amber Rose and Aisha Tyler. The girls strut their fabulous stuff, and it comes down to Raja, Stacy and Alexis for the top spot. And because Stacy so thoroughly nails Mo'Nique, she wins the Bahamas cruise. Unfortunately, we’re at the halfway point in the competition, and no one enjoys next-week immunity anymore. So Stacy must continue to BRING IT like she did tonight.
Bottom 3: Yara, Delta and Mariah. Yara is excused, and Mariah tries to save herself by saying she is surprised she's down there, since Carmen basically just played a "bitchy version of herself." But facts are facts, and the queens don’t like Joan Crawford satire unless it’s at least half as sharp as the crazy curve in her crazy eyebrows. So she and Delta must LIP SYNC for their LIVES.
And it’s really too bad that Mariah doesn’t know the words to the song. Because that is precisely what makes Ru tell her to sashay, away.
Until next week, kiddies, I too must sashay.
ALL GROWN UP
Justin Bieber Cuts His Mop And Twitter Reacts
"THINKING ABOUT GETTING A HAIRCUT…HMMMMMM," tweeted the Biebs this afternoon while on the set of a Rascal Flats music video.
The next thing you know the popster is showing off his freshly cut hair on TMZ. Gone is the mop crop that made him look like Davy Jones. In its place, a chop that butches up the Bieb; no more will he be confused for the lesbian next door.
The cut caused a ruckus on Twitter where it became a trending topic, and there was speculation (rumors?) that 80,000 Beliebers "unfollowed" the Canadian pop star. "Wait, really? HAHAHAHA," wrote madster1144 in response to news that fans dumped Bieber over his new haircut.
True Beliebers that we are, we say props to the boy-who's-not-yet-a-man for risking his power and tampering with his brand. "True beliebers like Justin's new haircut," snapped princesstikitec. "Fakes say Justin lost his "superpower."
But not eveybody was thrilled with the change --or that Bieber's cut was making news.
"How is a hashtag involving Justin Bieber's haircut getting trended but things that actually matter in the world aren't?," tweeted necronixie on Twitter.
Here's a sampling of reactions from Twitter.
"400 innocent people are shot to death by their government and the top news story is Justin Bieber's haircut," wrote Harryisaleaf. "I hate the world sometimes."
But some fans approved of the new, more mature look.
"I just seen the pictures of Justin's new haircut and he looks even cuter,'' gushed Breab_1.
And BieberBlazing sneered smugly: "Wow so, my friend called me to say "justin bieber got a haircut". like wtf? obviously i know that. I'M A BELIEBER. some people are stupid."
Do you care? Should we care? Should we be ashamed of caring? Or is paying attention just harmless fun?
February 21, 2011
MOTHERHOOD
Love Delivered: Nicole Kidman & Christina Applegate Talk Babies
NICOLE KIDMAN AND CHRISTINA APPLEGATE ARE BOTH TALKING ABOUT THE HEARTSWELLING JOY OF HAVING NEWBORNS.
Kidman opened up to Australia's 60 Minutes about her struggle to have another child with husband Keith Urban. "Anyone that's been in the place of wanting another child or wanting a child knows the disappointment, the pain and the loss that you go through trying and struggling with fertility," the 43-year-old actress told Australia's 60 Minutes on Sunday.
“Fertility is such a big thing, and it’s not something I’ve ever run away from talking about. I've had a roller coaster ride with fertility,” said the Academy Award nominee for her role as a grieving mother in Rabbit Hole.
Kidman won her battle with infertility and is now mom to Sunday Rose, 2, and Faith Margaret, born in December through a gestational carrier. Her children, including two teenagers adopted with Tom Cruise, have brought her her deepest joy.
"Children are children – you’ll die for your children,” the Oscar winner said. “And when you feel that as parent – that’s the unconditional love. And people can talk about and until you feel it you quite can't grasp it.”
Of course, Kidman was at the birth of her newborn who has red hair. "Sunday's very much her dad. And, well, everyone says Faith is more me, but who knows, right?"
Of her relationship with Urban, she says: "We found each other in this huge world and we're crazy about each other...And I'm just so glad to have my mate."
Also talking transformational love is Christina Applegate, who tells People of her newborn Sadie Grace born Jan. 27.
"I felt my heart literally open up for the first time and like wrap itself around her,'' says Applegate, 39. "It was profound. And I'm more in love with her every minute of the day."
The baby's birth comes three years after the TV star had a double mastectomy for breast cancer.
""I've had to talk about that word [cancer] more than I've ever had to talk about a word in my life," she says. "After a while you're like, 'There's got to be something else to me.' "
The role 'mom' now fulfills that something else in ways she never expected. "Now I'm Mom. She's healed me in so many ways," Applegate says. "She's just made my life so much better. She's opened my whole soul."
DRIVING THE FUTURE
HAIR-RAISING ALLEGATIONS
Did Julian Assange Make A Cat Go Crazy?
WIKILEAKS' FOUNDER JULIAN ASSANGE WEARS A LOT OF LABELS THESE DAYS: freedom fighter, anarchist, paranoid, cypherpunk, mad scientist, douchebag, rapist. Now add another to the list: cat tormentor.
In his new book Inside WikiLeaks, former Assange collaborator Daniel Domscheit-Berg alleges that the mastermind behind the radical transparency group used to roughhandle his "lovable, lazy" cat. Here's the excerpt:
“Julian was engaged in a constant battle for dominance -- even with my cat, Mr. Schmitt,'' Domscheit-Berg writes. Mr. Schmitt is a lovable, lazy creature, a bit shy, with gray-and-white fur and an extremely laid-back way of walking. Unfortunately he also has a neurosis stemming from the time when Julian lived with me in Wiesbaden. Julian was always attacking the poor animal. He would spread his fingers into a fork shape and pounce on the cat’s neck. It was a game to see who was quicker. Either Julian would succeed in getting his fingers around the cat and pinning it to the floor, or the cat would drive Julian off with a swipe of its claws. It must have been a nightmare for the poor thing. No sooner would Mr. Schmitt lie down to relax than the crazy Australian would be upon him. Julian preferred to attack at times when Mr. Schmitt was tired.
I't’s about training vigilance,' Julian explained. Mr. Schmitt was a male cat, and male cats were supposed to be dominant. 'A man must never forget he has to be the master of the situation,' Julian proclaimed." I wasn’t aware that anyone in my apartment or the courtyard questioned Schmitt’s masculinity. What’s more, he was neutered."
According to Wikileaks, people who suffer from psychosis "may report hallucinations or delusional beliefs, and may exhibit personality changes and thought disorder....This may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behavior, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out the daily life activities."
We'll have to insist on seeing Mr. Schmitt's medical records for proof. But based on Domscheit-Berg's claims it sounds like his cat was never the same after encountering Mr. Assange; the same can be said of our world. I am a fan.
February 19, 2011
LIVING IN AMERICA?
A Break In Case? New Allegations Madeleine McCann Was Kidnapped By Pedophile Ring
WAS THREE-YEAR-OLD MADELEINE MCCANN KIDNAPPED BY PEDOPHILES AND SMUGGLED TO THE U.S.?
That's the claim of an Angolan investigator who reportedly has turned over evidence to Portuguese authorities as well as investigators working on behalf of the missing girl's parents.
Marcelino Italiano, 36, claims that McCann was kidnapped by an Algarve-based paedophile ring. According to the U.K.'s Sun, "the ring was based in Faro and Albufeira, but had high-level contacts in Portugal's judiciary and links to a legal practice in London."
The paper draws comparisons to the Portuguese Casa Pia pedophile ring accused of abducting youngsters from state-run orphanages. Last September, six men including a lawyer, diplomat and TV personality, were convicted of sex abuse allegations.
On May 3, 2007, Madeleine disappeared from her family's vacation flat in Praia da Luz as her parents dined nearby with friends. The case prompted worldwide attention and her parents Kate and Gerry McCann were vilified and investigated as suspects before being cleared. The couple "are grateful for the information." 
Graphic Credit: The Sun.
MARKED
Defying Death: 21-Year-Old Mom Is Police Chief In Drug-Ravaged Mexican Town
THE HEADLINE CALLS MARISOL VALLES GARCIA THE "bravest woman in Mexico," but the locals just call her crazy. That's because the 21-year-old mom heads up a 10-officer force in the border town of Praxedis that is embroiled in battle between competing drug cartels. The town's last police chief was beheaded.
"I don’t think of myself as crazy,'' Valles told Bill Neely of Independent Television News. "My plan is not to confront the cartels. I’m not even armed. We’re trying a gentler approach."
A criminology student, Valles was the only person to apply for the job in the town of Praxedis Guerrero. She says she's "doing it in the hope of a better more peaceful life for my town, for my son. I am afraid like everyone here. I take precautions. But hope is stronger than fear."
But fear may be an appropriate response: the last "bravest woman in Mexico" was killed two months after accepting a police chief's job. Hermila Garcia, 38, was attacked as she was driving to work in the Meoqui in December.
According to CBS News, about 29,000 people have been killed since Mexican President Felipe Calderón took office in 2006 and sent 45,000 soldiers to crack down on drug cartels.
February 18, 2011
DESIGN
Off His Rocker: Designer Thomas Heatherwick's Spun Chair
DESIGNER THOMAS HEATHERWICK'S MAGIS SPUN CHAIR is among the inventions that went on exhibit yesterday in the Brit Insurance Design Of The Year competition.
The contest, now in its fourth year, is the London Design Museum's "annual exploration of the most innovative, interesting and forward-looking new work in design."
About 100 projects from architecture, fashion, furniture, graphics, interactive, product and transport are part of this year's competition which culminates at a March 15 awards dinner.
Heatherwick's symmetrically spinning top chair is made with molded moulded polyethylene and sells at the Design Museum for about $640.
For a look at 50 other designs in the competition exhibit, check out Core77's visually appealing photo gallery.
IT'S A TRAP
How Rolling Stone Tried To Kill My Love For Justin Bieber
AFTER A WEEKLONG INFATUATION, I am sad to report that today Justin Bieber and I almost broke up.
I love Justin Bieber. I listen to his music, have seen his movie, and think he's a great role model. His mother is a hero for raising him to be a good kid, with a good work ethic, and a connection to his faith. But when I posted on my Facebook page that I was breaking up with him because of his Rolling Stone interview, I was accused of going on a witch hunt and building him up, only to bring him down. I was told he is just a kid and I need to let it go.
Let me think about it for a second…. nope. Not going to happen. I’m not letting this one go.
In his Rolling Stone interview, Justin says he does not believe in abortion. When asked about abortion after a rape, Bieber said, "Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that." It was a bad answer to an even worse question.
First, let me say that Rolling Stone contributing editor Vanessa Grigoriadis is out of line. She’s got huge balls to ask a 16-year-old kid what his opinion is of abortion, and if that opinion changes if rape is involved. This is a pop star not a politician, and she should be ashamed of herself for asking such a stupid question. There was no way he could answer correctly.
Was there nobody with him at this interview, listening to these questions, and telling Vanessa to stop with this line of questioning? Why was he not protected? I think it's sad that the questions were asked and even sadder that he was allowed to answer. He was going to piss someone off and that’s not fair. He’s a kid, he is darling, and he is talented, but he answered a question that he never should have, and that never should have been asked in the first place.
I think Rolling Stone owes this kid and his family an apology. I love you Justin and I don’t want to break up with you, so let’s clarify a couple of things.
Here is what you need to know my darling: we don’t care about your opinion on abortion. Don't take it personally because unless you've got a uterus, it does not matter who you are, we don't care. You are entitled to your opinion, and you should follow your faith, but you should never share you opinion on such a touchy subject on such a big scale.
Now, I too believe that things happen for a reason and I assume that when you said that in terms of a rape, you were trying to lean on your faith in that God would not allow something to happen that you could not handle, or something along those lines. Let me tell you my sweet boy that you are simply wrong on this one and I will happily explain why.
Rape does not happen for a reason, and God does not allow these things to happen because there is a reason for it. Rape and God have nothing to do with each other. My family has been touched by rape and it did not happen for a reason. God helped us heal, and he wept with sorrow, but there was no reason for it to happen and you need to know that.
You are a kid and you don’t need to have an opinion on these things right now. That said, you are also a man and you should know that rape is violent and you need to be supportive of women, and understand that not wanting to have a baby that was conceived during a vicious attack is a special set of circumstance that I pray will never touch your family.
I love you Justin Bieber. You are in an impossible position and there is certainly a witch hunt to cut you down. I don’t want to judge you for a mistake that a reporter made, I just want you to understand what you said. An apology would be nice. It’s not required of course, but it would be nice, and the right thing to do. You know that because you are a good kid.
I hope this one statement does not define you. You made a mistake but it was not your fault so don’t stress out, say you are sorry, and move on. Keep your opinions on hot topic issues to yourself, and focus on being a super star. I forgive you for your misstep and am not breaking up with you today.
Ilana Angel, 44, is a single mother whose blog Her “Keeping The Faith” blog is the most popular blog on the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. Her column is reprinted with her permission.
February 17, 2011
LEFT OUT OF HISTORY
The Real Housewives You're Missing
WWhy, when I detest Oxygen's Bad Girls so much, does my passion soar in the opposite direction when I watch the Real Housewives of Wherever? Which is really just Bad Girls -- the MILF Edition?
I guess ladies who lunch, wear couture and pay thousands for their hair acting like hood rats is just infinitely more fun. You can keep your Snookies and Jens, your bachelorettes and survivors. Give me my Lisa and Cat, my Kim and NeNe. The latest example of their alley-catting, the Beverly Hills’ "Dinner Party From Hell," has been supplied with the appropriate subtitles over at Real City Housewife. It’s a real hoot, brilliantly done!
Also dabbling in recreations of Housewife hi-jinks is the female comedy ensemble Elite Delta Force 3. Their recently released You Tube spoof is appropriate for Black History Month. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Real Housewives of Civil Rights. Enjoy!
STUPIDLY ASKING QUESTIONS
Founder Of "Freedom Box" Won't Talk About WikiLeaks
"ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?," Columbia Law School Professor Eben Moglen asks me during a brief conversation with him Wednesday.
Moglen's reaction comes in response to my question about whether punitive actions against WikiLeaks by PayPal, Amazon and other corporations was the type of collusion he hopes to prevent with the development of an Internet "Freedom Box."
The New York Times today profiles Moglen's foundation whose goal is to "organize the software" that will decentralize "information and power" on the web. The "box" is really tiny server with software enabling web surfers to protect their identities and locations.
"We have to aim our engineering more directly at politics now,” Moglen told the Times. "What has happened in Egypt is enormously inspiring, but the Egyptian state was late to the attempt to control the Net and not ready to be as remorseless as it could have been.”
Moglen is quoted in the Times saying: "We should make this far better for the people trying to make change than for the people trying to make oppression,” Mr. Moglen said. “Being connected works.”
Moglen also is quoted as saying, "It is not hard, when everybody is just in one big database controlled by Mr. Zuckerberg, to decapitate a revolution by sending an order to Mr. Zuckerberg that he cannot afford to refuse. I telephoned Moglen to ask if his Freedom Box would prevent incidents like the recent corporate collusion against WikiLeaks after it began releasing secret U.S. government documents. But that line of question agitated Mr. Moglen, who said anything I knew or thought I knew about WikiLeaks' and corporate pressure against the organization was wrong. Could he set me straight?
“When you have eight or 10 million readers call me back and I’ll give you another 10 minutes.”
You can count on that, sir.
February 16, 2011
PEER COUNSELING
Comedic Gold: Charlie Sheen Raps Lindsay Lohan For ''Impulse Control"
NOW THIS IS COMEDY!
CBS' funnyman Charlie Sheen called in to the Dan Patrick show today to defend his professionalism and to throw out some advice to his fellow troubled thespian, Lindsay Lohan.
Charlie swears he's "never been drunk never been high on the set once. But...would show up having not slept much. Doing a network run through and asking the director...to move my mark a little bit just so I could be next to a piece of furniture or a table...so I wouldn't fall over."
"But, but, but, but, but again, that is an expert move by a seasoned professional,'' he rationalized. "I'm sorry. An amateur stays on his mark and then falls over during the run-through."
After Patrick calls Sheen a "pro," the coke-smoking, porn-loving actor said, "Thank you!"
Then Charlie pushes the envelope and dares Patrick to get Lindsay on the show.
"If you get Lindsay on the show, I'll call in 'cause I've got some advice for her. I've got some things I'd recommend she consider."
When Patrick asked him what is the one piece of advice he'd share with Lilo, he said, "Work on your impulse control. Just try to think things through a little bit before you do them. Now check it, I was not there in the store. The necklace, the thing, some bracelet, who cares? They're just...they're so desperate to vilify without fact, you know?
Sheen, as you know, is on some fake version of rehab after being hospitalized for a hernia or for laughing too hard after a coke-fueled night with five hookers. LiLo's latest brush with the law came after she was accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from a jewelry store.
CURSES
Wednesday's Gossip Is Full Of Woe: Billy Ray Cyrus, Liz Hurley, OJ Simpson
BILLY RAY CYRUS BARES HIS ACHY BREAKY HEART IN A GQ interview in which he blames his daughter Miley's hit TV show Hannah Montana for his family's breakup.
"I'll tell you right now - - the damn show destroyed my family," Cyrus laments about the Disney show that turned his daughter into a household name.
He says if he could do it all over again "I'd take it back in a second."
Cyrus says he was used by Cyrus' handlers, though it's fair to ask why a teenage star's handlers are more in charge than her daddy.
"Every time the train went off the track, if you will — Vanity Fair, pole-dancing, whatever scandal it was — her people, or as they say in today’s news, her handlers, every time they’d put me… ‘Somebody’s shooting at Miley! Put the old man up there!’ Well, I took it, because I’m her daddy, and that’s what daddies do. ‘OK, nail me to the cross, I’ll take it," he says. “All those people around, they used me every time. It became so obvious that, man, no matter what happens, they’re going to put you up there and let you take the bullet."
Liz Hurley's getting her necessary dose of drama from her (doomed) romance with Aussie badboy Shane Warne.
Just months after the actress dumped hubby Arun Nayar for the notorious "horny Warne," 26-year-old porn star Chloe Conrad has blathered to the Sunday Mirror about a sex romp with Warne after he hooked up with the actress. The Twittering Hurley vented on the microblog Monday writing: "Happy Valentine’s Day! Remember, love is like a rollercoaster ride-sometimes it’s exhilarating but sometimes u feel sick and want to get off.” She reportedly has returned to the U.K. from Australia where she was staying with Warne. And the pornster is wagging her finger at Hurley in the press: "If Liz thinks he has changed, she’s sorely mistaken...Liz is a lot older than me and should be wiser." Sounds like Conrad is a real knife-twister.
Speaking of which, the National Enquirer is reporting that O.J. Simpson was "beaten unconscious in a brutal attack in prison." The Juice is reportedly holed up in fear in his cell at Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center after a vicious beating by a "skinhead" landed him in the jail's infirmary for three weeks. Simpson is serving time for pulling a gun on a Las Vegas sports memorabilia dealer in September 2007.
ESCHEWING WEIRDNESS
Justin Bieber Is Lacto Interolerant Toward Lady Gaga's Egg
JUSTIN BIEBER DID NOT CRACK UP UPON SEEING LADY GAGA IN AN EGG. He just thought she was weird.
The dreamy boy wonder appeared on Chelsea Handler's talk show where he landed a big wet one on her cheek, then told her how beautiful she looked to sidestep her question about his romantic life.
He ALSO admitted being disappointed to losing out to Esperanza Spalding for the best new artist Grammy Sunday night, but graciously gave props to the classically-trained bassist.
"I'm not gonna lie. People were expecting me to say, like, something else. But I'm definitely disappointed,'' said the star of the pop biopic Never Say Never in theaters now.
Then Handler turned to the topic of Lady Gaga's Grammy costume.
"What did you like better that mean dress or that egg that she arrived in?," she asked.
"I thought both were weird,'' the Bieb said. "I don’t know people say it’s artistic and stuff. I’m just, like... you’re an egg."
He also revealed that he wasn't too keen for a hug from the Mommy Monster when she was wearing her meat dress at the VMAs. "She went for a hug and I was like "Oooh, let’s just hold up on that. You have meat on you."
February 15, 2011
WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW
Four Legs With Design On A Prize
PHOTOGRAPHER SPENCER PLATT SNAPPED Standard poodle "Gem" standing with his owner at a news conference at the 135th Westminster Kennel Dog Club Show in New York last weekend.
About 2,500 purebred dogs are competing for the title of "best in show" at the world's most prestigious dog competition which culminates tonight at Madison Square Garden.
The competition, first held in 1877, predates the invention of the light bulb and the automobile.
Tonight's final night of competition will broadcast from 8 to 11 p.m. (Eastern) on USA.
For more fantastic shots of dogs and their owners visit here.
OUTLOOK: CAMPY
The Forecast Calls For Gay: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
HOLY HELL, IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING EVER to make straight men watch this show. Especially if one of them is your lovesick brother, fresh off a bad break-up, and the other's your husband, fresh off a clumsily-executed Valentine's dinner where he nearly set the kitchen on fire and lightly toasted his eyebrows a nutty brown color. You might say I had a ball. If you were as witty as my girl RuPaul, that is.
"This show is so gay," my brother whines, and I'm all, "Uh, DUH. Now SHH, chante." He rolls his eyes, looks at my husband and they disappear for a beer. I may have made some gay jokes at their expense before turning my attention back to my catnip mouse. But whatever, I knew they'd be back. Like all straight men, they can't resist girly stuff. Witness your recent issue of Cosmo, rolled up behind your toilet, or your favorite tube of moisturizer squeezed to death next to their razor. They need this shit in their lives, despite their efforts to tell you otherwise.
But the snippy little attitudes floating in the air at Chez Miz J are a perfect complement to the snark thundercloud rolling over the work room. India’s interviewing about how she’s got to step it up: "I gotta fight harder this time," she tells us, and Shangela snipes, “Oh NOW you're competing.” Rowr.
RuPaul interjects with her She Mail: "Today's drag queen on the go needs to stay abreast of current events, whether she tweets, blogs or just talks smack behind some girl's back. An informed queen is a winning queen. That's the way it is. Good night and good talk.” O.M.G. It’s my dream come true: a fabulous drag queen morning talk show. If these bitches could get the actual air time they'd sashay all over Kathie Lee and Hoda’s ratings. At least in this house.
So for tonight’s mini challenge, the girls must create a quick drag look to be captured, paparazzi-style, in an outrageous red carpet scandal. So of course, we see at least three nip slips and 389,763,976 Lohan crotch replicas. But the best from those respective (?) categories are Stacy's nip slip and Carmen’s camel toe. Carmen not only tells us, but shows us how she created her winning look, and I'm like, "OF COURSE she zeroes in on a Lohan crotch shot. And OF COURSE she’ll make a fake vag out of bobby pins and leftover eyelashes.” She tells us it's all about how you tuck and fold your skin. Um…noted. Forever. Thanks. Now I actually know what it looks like when someone shows me theirs AND mine.
Okay. I don't get Manila’s outfit. She’s in a white dress, with white lips and white hair. So she's…cocaine? Oh, no, I'm way off base: she’s a panda. Riiiiiight. Of course. Pandas are totally scandalous. You all remember that one that was caught up in
that sexual harassment suit, right? Carmen flashes her hoo-ha and I LOL. Her "woman trapped in a man’s body” is totally falling out. Shangela gives us crotch and TP shoe. Stacy creates an epic nip slip. And the other gals just replicate. The winners? Stacy and Carmen. The girls will have to choose teams and create their own morning news show, where they’ll do gossip, weather, news and an interview with…John Waters? Lady Gaga?
…Kristin Cavallari…ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Oh. Sorry. Even her name is fucking boring. So let’s talk about something interesting.
Stacy chooses Alexis, Shangela, Yara and Mariah; Carmen picks Manila, Raja, Delta and India. Manila doesn’t want to be on Stacy’s team because she's sure it’ll “crash and BURN” and Carmen doesn’t really want India because she's kinda the weak sister after her near-loss last week. But I’ll venture to say this: RuPaul clearly thinks Stacy's got something, and if India can survive a bout with Hurricane Mimi last week, she won't need to be babied. But since no one on Carmen’s team wants to be weather girl (a missed opportunity for total bimbosity if I ever saw one), she makes India do it.
Meanwhile, Delta and Raja are putting together their SERIOUS JOURNALIST!!!! outfits together, and they’re settling on some wild pink polka dotted number: “Yeah, mine’s kinda muted too so it’ll look good.” Muted, to a drag queen, clearly means it must meet one of the following style criteria: glow in the dark, low cut or polka dotted. A credo to live by.
Naturally, some of the ladies *ahem* India* are more interested in their outfits than their lines, and it shows when they get in front of (squee!) Debbie (I am NOT typing that last name) from The View. Manila's in the corner, channeling “the best queens of interview like Mario Lopez or Ryan Seacrest.” Yara gets nervous about her shaky English, and Ru practices with her a bit: “So if you’re in front of the green screen, where’s Maine?" Yara gets all confused – where IS Maine? Maybe she’s overqualified for this gig, actually.
The point of this performance is to show off your personality, Ru points out. Not to memorize lines or anything like that. Shangela rocked the shit out of her gossip beat; I’d be surprised if she didn’t end up on KROQ after this stint, seriously. She’s even got a new catch phrase: "It’s so good but so gay," which sums up this show and wraps it up in a sparkly pink bow.
The girls all do a pretty decent job, especially Manila, who takes her Asian correspondent role to new offensive heights, dropping her Ls and Rs to interview Her Snoozesty. If it weren’t for Manila’s antics I would have turned to the test pattern for something stimulating to watch. Oh, you’re doing a shoe lineZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZFUCK OFF.
Manila gets her to confirm she’s a real woman, and a real bore. Raja’s got this whole NPR vibe going, and Stacy, well, she overhears her team basically saying she’s a literal anchor, weighing them down. Then, Shangela gets shitty with the other girls over whether or not pageantry counts as performance art. My brother was right: this show is totally gay. And I love it.
So after a light meal of Meow Mix backstage, the chicks are all decked out in their most sparkly apparel for the judges: Billy B, Michelle Visage, Debbie Matenopolopolpoplopolollipop and Chloe However-the-fuck-you-Sevigny. I love that they didn’t ask CavallariZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ to join them. Gee, that’s too bad. I wonder why.
Shangela struts down the runway in this cutout number, talkin' about how “Everywhere I go, I got wind,” and I’m thinking that sounds like a personal problem to me. I’m waiting for the Beano product placement like, "Well played, Logo, well played." But apparently it’s a Beyonce quote. Of course it is.
The table of doom is ready to judge, but my hubs has already cast his vote: RuPaul is killin' these hoes. "She’s just so much BETTER than them…what?" Don’t get me wrong; I’m not faulting him at all. We're pro-gay, pro-drag and pro-GLBT in this house. I’m just amazed that he's actually still watching the show.
Anyway, RuPaul has made her decision. "Manila," she says strictly. “This week you broke all the rules. You crossed the line of good taste and you perpetuated stereotypes." Yes, and that's why she’s awesome. She wins the challenge. Damn, can I be RuPaul's student? I’d be on the fucking dean’s list every day. Shangela is PISSED – she thought she had that $2,000 wig money sewn up.
So now it's Stacy vs. India, and it's an even week so I'm fairly certain there won't be any wrasslin'. It's classy and close -- Stacy stays and India must sashay, away. "I'm not comedy, and I’m not camp," she pouts as she writes her message on the mirror, and struggles as she reaches to leave a kiss print. Oddly enough, this is the perfect intersection of both.
And now bitches, I must sashay away...and celebrate the rest of my Valentine's Day.
PARTY ON
53rd Annual Grammys: Cracked And Then Some
IT'S AS IF THE ENTIRE GRAMMY COMMUNITY CONSPIRED TO PROVE THERE'S more playas in today's music than a manic fame monster in meat dress.
The 53rd Annual Grammys was near nonstop dance party (well, until Babs took the stage) with performances by the biggest names in music, including Justin Bieber, Usher, Drake, Eminem, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Bob Dylan and even Mick Jagger. And the little bit of country provided by Lady Antebellum and Miranda Lambert provided emotional respite from the rush.
The show opened with a misplaced tribute (so early in the show?) to the ailing Aretha Franklin that allowed Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Martina McBride, Florence Welch and Yolanda Adams to show off their singing chops.
Then it was Lady Gaga's turn to deliver her just-dropped insta-hit Born This Way. And in typical Gah fashion, her performance proved cracked -- this time literally -- as the popster emerged on stage from an egg.
But the night's highest notes were delivered by lesser-known acts who captivated the crowd with their raw talent and passion. Shoutouts to Bruno Mars whose medley of songs with B.o.B and Janelle Monae stole the night, along with the Mumford & Sons' tight rollicking rendition of their hit Little Lion Man.
Cee Lo Green, dressed in feathered regalia bursting in color, delivered a fun duet with the co-opter of his song Fuck You, Gwyneth Paltrow that was backed by the Muppets. Getting cussed at never sounded so joyful.
Duet performances by Justin Bieber and Usher, Eminem and Rihanna and Eminem and Drake kept the show rolling but their now-familiar tracks didn't provide any emotional highs to the night.
You couldn't say the same about Mick Jagger's performance of Everybody Needs Somebody To Love. Jagger emerged onstage just as the record academy ended its tribute to artists' who had passed away then proceeded to strut around like some immortal rock God. Jagger's fierceness, and the audience's apparent recognition that they were in the presence of rock royalty, underscores the truth that music doesn't live and die on just one artist's contributions: It's about the continuum.
Check out a list of the night's winners here.
Some random leftovers:
Did you see how Yolanda Adams and Jennifer Hudson gave a smiling nod to each other as they sang the lyrics of Aretha Franklin's Sisters are doing it for themselves at the top of the show? And what a mighty fine example these sisters are setting, too. You go, ladies.
The belle of the ball was jazz bassist Esperanza Spalding, whose Grammy win for best new artist delivered the night's biggest upset. The eclectic beauty's biography on Wikipedia was attacked after she beat out Justin Bieber, Drake, Mumford & Sons and Florence & The Machine.
Is it me, or did Eminem seem miffed about something? Or should I say more miffed than normal? The rapper lost to Jay-Z in the category of best rap collaboration, and best rap song, awards that were given out before the broadcast. Did something transpire between the two?
Em did win best rap solo for Not Afraid as well as best rap album for Recovery. Em gave a shoutout to Detroit while accepting the Grammy adding "Stand Up!" What was that: tough love or encouragement to stand proud?
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February 13, 2011
APPEALING
Countdown To Grammys: Justin Bieber
I WASN'T A TEENY BOPPER WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, BUT THIS KID MAKES ME, WELL, let's say it one more time...a "Belieber."
Fresh-faced, upbeat, positive, Justin Bieber is, like, a one-person salve for a corrupt world that steals kids' innocence even before they know what the word means.
Yeah, yeah the critics will tell you his music is sticky sap for emotionally overwrought girls, but it's also catchy, fun and thrilling to listen to. And if you don't believe me, maybe the other 461,100,951 visitors to YouTube to hear Baby will persuade you to at least give this kid the benefit of the doubt.
Sunday night, the 16-year-old pop prince is up for Best New Artist and for Best Pop Album for his release, My World 2.0.
I've said before, and I'll say it again, it's Justin Bieber's world, we just live in it.
HUNGERING
Countdown To Grammys: Eminem
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT EMINEM HAS MELLOWED, but the Detroit rapper who rose to fame giving voice to rape fantasies and maternal hatred has tempered his offstage rage. Yet his music is still fired by anger and emotional rawness even as he's become an elder statesman of rap who gives a standout performance every time he steps on stage.
This year we've seen him once again working out his addictions to sick love in his fiery hit Love The Way You Lie, and his addiction to drugs in his Not Afraid, the second rap song ever to debut at No. 1 on Billboard. Both songs are off Eminem's seventh album Recovery, which has been nominated as Album Of The Year. Love The Way You Lie, his exploration of domestic violence sung with Rihanna, is up for Song Of The Year and Best Rap Song, while the critically praised Not Afraid is in the race for Best Rap Solo Performance and Best Rap Song. Rolling Stone said the song "delivers rhymes that are typically acrobatic – and typically heavy-handed. But the anger has a gathering quality."
Eminem has dragged us along his emotional trip with him, and I've gotta admit, I've liked the way it hurt.
DECLARING
Countdown To Grammys: Cee Lo Green's F**K You
YOU KNOW YOU GOT A KEEPER WHEN WHITEY WANTS TO CO-OPT YOUR SONG, and that's exactly what happened with Cee Lo Green's Fuck You was covered by the lily white Gwynnie Paltrow.
Green's infectious ditty about the heartbreak of coming in second with the girl of your dreams is salve in itself for the lovelorn. There's power in those words -- Fuck You! -- and there's pleasure in the curse.
Green's hit was so contagious that the musically-morphing Paltrow showed off her singing chops to the world while belting out a sterilized cover on Glee. (All the more reason to hate your perfect white ass, Gwynnie!)
Sunday night, when his hit is up for Record Of the Year, Cee Lo performs his irresistible throw-down with Paltrow herself. OMF Gawd. I am so jealous. Fuck you, Gwynnie!
February 12, 2011
CLAMORING
Countdown To Grammys: Jay-Z's Empire State Of Mind
IT'S HARD TO DISPUTE JAY-Z's SELF-ANOINTMENT AS RAP GOD WHEN THE TITLE SINGLE FROM Empire State Of Mind has commanded 80.5 million YouTube hits.
Jay-Z's ballad about surviving New York City's badlands has become anthem for artists' Darwinian fight to the top.
Most interestingly, it gives glimpse into Jay-Z's steely ascent for fame and fortune. And, in fact, the single propelled Jay-Z to No. 1 on Billboard's Hot 100 for five consecutive weeks, the first time the rapper held that spot as a lead artist.
Critics raved about the hit. According to Wikipedia, the hit was ranked 8th best song of 2009 by MTV, second-best Rolling Stone, best single in The Village Voice's 37th annual Pazz & Jop critics' poll, and Pitchfork Media ranked it 44th top track of 2009.
A wise person wouldn't take Hova's name in vain. Or bet against him Sunday night.
SAVORING
Countdown To Grammys: Mumford & Sons
MY HEAD TOLD MY HEART: I gotta love earnest erudite English boys who perform rock folk with their own brand of fierceness.
The four lads who comprise Mumford & Sons are up for two Grammys this year -- for Best New Artist and for Best Rock Song for Little Lion Man.
The Brits crashed the music scene with its debut album Sigh No More -- which reached No. 3 on U.K. albums charts -- and the quartet hasn't looked back since. Sunday night, they'll perform at the Grammys with Bob Dylan and the Avett Brothers in a "salute to acoustic music."
In addition to being scrumptious to look at and engaging to hear, the boys who make girls sigh and boys jealous have also been known to be generous to no-name bloggers. Good luck, boys!
ANTICIPATION
Countdown To Grammys: Florence + The Machine
STARFUCKING HAS NEVER APPEALED TO ME, BUT I ADMIT: I'VE ALWAYS HAD A STRONG STREAK OF GROUPIE.
I'm a bad pretender, the idea of acting tantamount to aspiring to lie.
But play me honest music -- loudly -- expressing love or hate or fear or anger or hope or faith and I'll reach orgasmic levels of pleasure.
As the world counts down to the 53rd Grammy Awards, I'm gonna work myself up to a frenzy listening to some of music to be celebrated on CBS Sunday night. Won't you join me?
First off, is Florence + The Machine, South London's first "church choir goth hip-hop" band as described by the artful Florence Welch.
The fiery faux red head and musical partners are up for Best New Artist along with the very generous Mumford & Sons, Drake, Justin Bieber, and Esperanza Spalding. Can't wait to indulge in my favorite drug.
NOW
Never Say Never: Reviews RECAPsulated
WHICH REVIEWERS BECAME BELIEBERS AFTER CHECKING OUT JUSTIN'S JUST-RELEASED NEVER SAY NEVER? Let's recap.
NPR's David Edelstein calls the movie "one awesome piece of packaging" that is "cunningly woven to show the tension between his insane success and his determination to remain a sane, normal 16-year-old." His takeaway message: " I find [Bieber] such a white and pious and profoundly unthreatening little Furby robot of a pop star, but little girls' celebrity crushes are not to be trifled with. And this expertly engineered promo film makes Justin Bieber look like a force of nature."
The Washington Post's David Malitz calls the flick "a fluffy, mildly inspiring, celebration of the hero leading up to his big moment" in concert at New York's Madison Square Guarden following years leading up to it. He gives it 2 and a half stars.
The New York Times' Mike Hale sees the creepy in Jon M. Chu's production: "He points the camera 180 degrees away from the star a fair bit of the time, and that view introduces a queasy note of apprehension into the otherwise wholesome picture,'' Hale writes. "Occasionally you see a fan whose senses are particularly deranged by her love for Mr. Bieber, and you hope that his security team has her picture on file."
Ultimately, though, he suggests the movie's tiresome. "Reduced to crazy fans, backstage atmosphere and home-movie footage of Mr. Bieber playing hockey and pounding the drums, Never Say Never could have been entirely satisfying. At 105 minutes it’s exhausting, even though it has been expertly cut together."
Village Voice's Nick Pimperton delivers a brutal critique of the movie:
"The Bieber movie, a concert experience and origin-myth documentary, is not good—not that it needs to be. It is draggily paced and lacks felicity of form; the 3-D is a rip-off and the songs are pap." And that's in the first paragraph. He dismisses Bieber as a " curiously vague presence, obscured in the shadow of this monument to his brand." Ouch.
EW's Owen Glieberman writes the movie is pure Bieber vehicle --the "concert film as glorified promotional product, but it captures a genuine youthquake." He wraps up: "If this is what it sounds like when a new millennium goes pop, I'll take it. B+"
Rolling Stone's Peter Travers: The film appeals "to delight the shy 13-year-old with braces that lives in all of us...Still there are tolerance levels to consider. The Bieb croons "baby baby baby baby" more times than Lindsay Lohan pleads "not guilty." After a while the movie starts to feel like lethal injection by bubblegum."
And USA Today's Scott Bowles says the movie fails as a biopic. "Bieber's too young to paint a picture with much context. As loud as Transformers and as happy as a Teletubby, Never is as drama-free as the songs it belts."
There's more reviews where these came from, but does your 13-year-old really care what they think? Nah.
February 11, 2011
GAH ME WITH A SPOON
Lady Gaga Is An Autoerotical Sex Machine
LADY GAGA IS PRACTICALLY JUICING IN HER PANTS THESE DAYS WITH SELF-LOVE.
The most provocative pop star of our time can't stop declaring how much she's God's gift to music.
Check out The Predatory Pop Star Goes Pink For Vogue.
Born This Way But Not Of This World: Lady Gaga's New Cover Art.
"Speaking purely from a musical standpoint, I think I am a great performer. I am a talented entertainer. I consider myself to have one of the greatest voices in the industry. I consider myself to be one of the greatest songwriters,'' the Gah declares with great oomph in the upcoming Vogue.
Today, as the popster prepares to drop Born This Way, we are hearing many fantastical things from the Lady, not the least of which is performing on stage gives her sexual satisfaction.
"Sometimes, being onstage is like having sex with my fans... they’re the only people on the planet who in an instant can make me just lose it,” she tells Vogue in its March issue. And is it me or do you also feel like you're watching the world's longest auto-erotical foreplay as we wait for the recording to drop?
Note to little monsters: bring sex toys as offerings the next time you see Gah in concert! I'm sure your gifts will result in a bang!
February 10, 2011
BACK ON STEADY GROUND
Velvet-Voiced Ted Williams Takes Charge Of His Recovery
TED WILLIAMS' RECOVERY IS BACK IN HIS OWN HANDS.
The velvet-voiced homeless man who captivated the nation is reportedly living in a Los Angeles "sober house" while pursuing voiceover work.
The former announcer catapulted to fame after a Columbus, Ohio posted a video of the gracious panhandler delivering personalized voiceovers for handouts along a roadside. Job offers and invitation to TV shows followed, along with news reports on Wiliams' previous criminal charges for cocaine possession and aggravated robbery.
Then Dr. Phil invited him onto his TV show, where he reunited Ted with his children before essentially coercing him into rehab. Ted calls his recovery at Origins Recovery Center in South Padre Island a "scripted circus," and he fled the facility after two weeks.
Yesterday, a dapper and much more self-assured Williams appeared on The Early Show and revealed why he left rehab -- reasons he repeated to WBNS-TV anchor Jerry Revish in Columbus, Ohio.
"My reason for leaving treatment was because it gave me a sense of it being scripted,'' Williams said. I was doing live telephone call-ins with Dr. Phil and my girlfriend and my ex-wife and all my kids," Williams said. "It became somewhat of a scripted circus and a form of anonymity was lost."
Looks like Dr. Phil had an ulterior motive for pushing Ted into rehab: financial and ratings windfalls for his cringe-inducing TV show.
FOOL FOR LOVE AND OTHER PLAYERS
Kelsey Grammer's $50 Million Divorce
WHEN HE DIVORCES HIS NEXT, FOURTH, WIFE, KELSEY GRAMMER SHOULD take care not to setting a wedding date with his new squeeze until the divorce is final.
The sitcom shrink proved in need of a little couch time himself after fleeing his life with Camille Grammer (and their two sons Mason and Jude) into the arms of flight attendant Kayte Walsh, 29. He texted Camille that the marriage was over, possbly while wearing one of her leftover chiffon slips. Stay classy, Kelsey!
The couple's divorce, to be finalized today in Los Angeles, will reportedly net Camille $50 million or half of Kelsey's estimated $100 million fortune.
Kelsey met his Camille replacement on a flight to New York and not long afteward broke off his marriage to the not-so Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.
Shortly after becoming involved in Kelsey, Kayte became pregnant but miscarried in October. She will marry Grammer at New York's Plaza Hotel on Feb. 25.
Mazel Tov, you crazy kids!
RUNNING DRY
Leaked Cables Reveal Saudi Oil Production May Peak By 2012
LEAKED U.S. DIPLOMATIC CABLES SHOW THAT AMERICAN officials have reason to fear a decline in Saudi Arabia's production of oil.
Sadad al-Husseini, the former head of exploration for Saudi oil monopoly Aramco, told American officials that the Arab kingdom will likely reach "peak oil" as soon as 2012, making it unlikely for the Middle Eastern state ever reach its goal of 12.5 million barrels per day necessary to keep worldwide oil prices stable.
The diplomatic cables are just the latest published by the Guardian provided to the newspaper by the groundbreaking transparency media outlet, WikiLeaks.
"According to al-Husseini, the crux of the issue is twofold," a cable reads. "First, it is possible that Saudi reserves are not as bountiful as sometimes described, and the timeline for their production not as unrestrained as Aramco and energy optimists would like to portray."
"While al-Husseini fundamentally contradicts the Aramco company line, he is no doomsday theorist. His pedigree, experience and outlook demand that his predictions be thoughtfully considered."
Sadad al-Husseini, a geologist, also reported that Saudis had overstated the country's oil reserves by as much as 300bn barrels.
Jeremy Leggett, convenor of the UK Industry Taskforce on Peak Oil and Energy Security, told the Guardian: "We are asleep at the wheel here: choosing to ignore a threat to the global economy that is quite as bad as the credit crunch, quite possibly worse."
Looks like it's time for U.S. auto manufacturers to get busy making electric cars that they can boast are "imported from Detroit."
February 09, 2011
MIRROR, MIRROR
And For Her Next Act, Julia Roberts Kills To Keep Her Pretty Woman Title
AMERICA'S FAIREST OF THEM ALL CIRCA 1990 HAS SIGNED ON TO STAR AS THE EVIL WITCH IN SNOW WHITE.
Julia Roberts will star in Tarsem Singh's reiteration of the Brothers Grimm's fable on tap to begin shooting late April.
Singh's screen tale will give a modern twist to the classic and have Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs seek revenge on the murderous Queen for killing her father.
“Julia was our first and only choice to play the Queen," stroked Ryan Kavanaugh, CEO of the film studio Relativity. "She is an icon, and we know that she will make this role her own in a way that no one else could.”
Roberts' has laid claim to the title of fairest of them all since starring as the prostituting Pretty Woman with Richard Gere in 1990. She went on to win an Oscar for her 2001 performance in Erin Brokovich, and most recently appeared as a spiritually- awaking divorcee in Eat, Pray, Love.
GETTING MUSHY
This British Royals' Wedding Portrait Screams 'Eat Me!"
THIS PARTY PLATTER REPRODUCTION OF PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON'S ENGAGEMENT SNAP IS NOT INTENDED TO BE SOME SLY WAY OF SAYING "EAT ME!" TO THE QUAINT IDEA OF ROYALTY. Honest.
Rather, the U.K. restaurant chain Crown Carveries that commissioned the edible and nutritionally-balanced copy of official engagement portrait, says it "wanted to give the happy couple a tasteful memento of their special day," says retail operations director Martin Gosling. And we'll believe you if you say so, Martin.
Chopped carrots, cauliflower, turkey and peas should keep well over the years.
Via AOL.
A STAR IS BORN
It's Justin Bieber's World, We Just Live In It
AS FRIDAY'S RELEASE OF NEVER SAY NEVER APPROACHES, JUSTIN BIEBER EXPANDS HIS DOMINATION OVER POP CULTURE.
Every day there's something new in the news: Justin Does Top 10 on Letterman! Justin Bieber Plays Matchmaker! Justin Bieber's In Love with Selena Gomez!
This kid is a wonder and the public can't get enough of him.
Somehow, at 16 and with worldwide adulation, the boy-man seems like he's got his head screwed on right. And at Tuesday's night premiere in Los Angeles, despite all the glitz and glamour, despite the fact that he owned the night, the likable pop star told fans and reporters that, “I think that anything is possible as long as you keep God first and remember to never give up. That is my message to never say never.”
It's amusing to hear those words from a 16-year-old who was discovered on YouTube, as if he knew anything other than good fortune and fame. But Justin is so very good at delivering the the feel-good. And it's good advice too, even for 40 year olds out of work for a few years. Hang in there, brothers and sisters.
Now the latest Bieber headline: that Will Smith has taken him under his wing.
'"The Smith family has been really amazing to me and really supportive in everything I'm doing. The family are just really nice and they are really good people,'' the kid tells Billy Bush while admitting he would "definitely" like to explore acting.
Smith, he said, is "looking at different scripts for me and trying to develop stuff. But for now they're just friends and we're kind of doing stuff together."
God help this kid stay hole in a world where everybody clamors for a piece of him.
ARTIFICE, THY NAME IS GAGA
Born This Way But Not Of This World: Lady Gaga's Cover Art
LADY GAGA has released ther cover art for her hotly anticipated upcoming album Born This Way depicting her as an alien creature from another planet.
The cover's "fierce"-looking creature has a wild mane of hair, pointy shoulders and what appears to be Spock eyebrows implanted underneath her skin.
The art was debuted by her new BFF Perez Hilton, that lover of drippy spermatoza who bloviates, "It is soooo fierce deluxe."
Fierce, blah blah blah. Play me the music.
February 08, 2011
SUGAR AND SPICE MAKE NICE
Victoria Beckham's In the Pink! Sonogram Reveals Girl On Way
THE VERY POSH BECKHAM CLAN IS THRILLED BY THE NEWS DELIVERED WHEN 36-year-old Victoria had her 16 week sonogram. It's a girl!
Tears reportedly fell as Victoria and David Beckham realized their dream of a girl would come true. The baby girl will join big brothers Brooklyn , 11, Romeo, 8, and Cruz, 5.
No doubt, Victoria's already daydreaming about all the things that she will do with her daughter: painting her nails, putting on make-up, and shopping!
But first things first, and all the expectant mom is really thinking about now is having a happy, healthy baby, says a source. Move away Shilo Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise, soon enough the new baby-posh will appear on the pages of tabloids as Hollywood's most fashionable wee one.
Madi S. is mom to two kids and three cats. She loves pop culture news, movies, fashion, travel, reading and observing the world.
HO UP, HO DOWN
Titties To The Mat: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BITCHES! Tonight, RuPaul asks the ladies to "get leotarded," and holy polyester, do they deliver.
The puns write themselves, so I don't have to. Which frees me up to thoroughly enjoy an assload of snark, punnery and blatant camp. Starting with the duct tape challenge.
Check out Trannies From Outer Space: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap.
Not what you’re thinking, I promise.
Ru has the gals create "workout leotards" from all these different colors and patterns of duct tape, with mixed results. And let me say, I think there should be a drag queen Girl Scouts. Because I've learned to tie knots, sew buttons, braid hair and every damn thing else these gals do behind the scenes -- and I got some kicky badges and sashes for it. Well, everything except the tucking, of course.
Naturally, the obnoxiously named (and rightfully so) Mimi Imfurst decided that she and her fellow size queens should band together for this mini-challenge. And of course, it's clear from the start that Delta and Stacy are "like two sisters in a girl group they didn't want to be part of," per Shangela. She never lied! I have never seen so many unhappy Flos in one room. Unless you count that one summer I went to Girl Scout camp.
Wow. I just had to explain who Flo was to my husband. I explained to him that the people watching RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE would totally understand my reference to Florence Ballard from the Supremes, who famously bickered with Diana over the lead spot in the group, only to be ousted by Miss Ross herself once Diana started banging Barry Gordy. OMG. I’m sorry. My inner gay is totally showing right now.
Anyway. On to more important matters. The big girls are miserable in their Mimi-designed duct tape leotards. Shangela and India bring the Desert Storm badassery. Alexis and Mariah somehow create ruffles out of this stuff. Yara and Raja do the polka dots and neon thing, and somehow match. And Carmen and Manila win, with adorable 80s neon ensembles, complete with duct tape iPod armbands and “ponytails.” They trot to Ru’s side. I guess it’s hard to break out into a full-on run when you’ve got duct tape pulling off your delicate inner thigh hairs.
The girls are then split into two teams to work on a workout DVD, which will be coached and judged by Susan “Stop the Insanity” Powter and LaToya Jackson!!!! Okokokokokokok, calm down.
Manila chooses Raja first, “because she’s, like, the only one to ever do a sit-up,” then Shangela, Mimi, Alexis and Stacy. Carmen chooses her team based on diversity and beauty, not necessarily in that order. But like a true diva, she doesn’t make the practical decisions, and that’s what makes her great.
So all right, now we’re in our groups, and Shy Stacy is once again "not being heard." RuPaul has said before that she feels like Stacy is holding back, and she’s right. And Stacy makes a mention tonight about how she doesn’t feel like herself here. But I don’t understand: where else could you possibly be more encouraged to feel like yourself? Here’s the thing. I think Stacy is a passive person in a room full of alpha bitches. At least, that’s what I think at first.
Then Stacy voices over about how she’s the last one picked for a team: “I come to realize, this is a workout challenge; they’re gonna leave the big bitch behind, honey.” Delta also interviews that she’s uncomfortable with and terrified of this entire challenge, as one of the few big women in the cast.
And that's when I have to say something. I think there’s a lot of hate against the big girls because their curves make them look a little more like biological women, who naturally are not as thin as these divas. Because, in our defense, we’re built to carry and raise babies and more often than not, be totally unglamorous in that pursuit: snotty sleeves and sloppy ponytails, Mickey D’s on the run for lunch, lucky if you had time to shower and find a clean pair of jeans. Which is why we're not always super thin, super made-up or super perfect. Which is why we appreciate these ladies -- for reminding us that, if we wanted to (and if the kids would just sleep an extra 40 minutes), we could hustle to the mirror and be *fierce* too.
But I digress. Both sides have something the other wants, and this competition, at its core, is about using what you’ve already got to get it. And it’s time to make the workout tapes.
Wooooo, here comes the Lycra and sequins. Breakout stars, in my humble opinion, are Alexis, who does this Rosanna Danna thing like Gilda Radner used to do on SNL; Shangela, who’s just her usual off-the-wall self; Stacy, who shows how funny she can really be; Yara, who does what Delta calls the “uber Charo character;” and Delta herself, who counts this challenge, initially one she considered a total failure, to be one of her biggest successes.
But again, Carmen relies too heavily on her body. She does her Miss Nasty routine for the camera, prompting RuPaul to exclaim, “Carmen, we’re asking you to make a connection with the camera, but we’re making a connection with your ass.” And her witty reply: “Uh, YEAH.” Le SIGH.
So okay, Ru and the ladies are done playacting and ready to be FIERCE again. Tonight's challenge: show up to elimination wearing something that shows off your favorite body part. And you know Carmen can’t choose just ONE, so she’s agonizing. “I don’t want to be ‘the naked one’ again, but it keeps coming up. So I’m going to do something that Carmen always does, but a DIFFERENT Carmen.” Ah, yes: the old Not That Kind of Girl routine. Old #42. The Backup Plan.
Surprisingly, she chooses something more grown-up: a floor-length gown covered in sequins, which is the drag queen equivalent of ratty sweatpants. Alexis dazzles in head-to-toe rhinestones that accentuate full hips. LaToya tells Stacy that Stacy “looks like some of my relatives,” which, because she’s friends with Ru, I’m totally letting slide. FOR NOW. Mimi is over-the-top (what else?) in ruffles and leopard print. RuPaul points out that Mimi’s slapstick is sloppy, and Billy B. (Gaga’s makeup artist – seriously, this is the gayest show evar) tells her that “you don’t have to pull every drag trick out of the book every single time" – and he’s right, a simple fucking meat dress will suffice next time. God. It’s like he has to spell it all out for you and shit.
Basically, it all comes down to Mimi vs. India, who must Lip Sync For Their Lives. And because Mimi can’t stop being too damn much for five minutes and respect the music, she starts picking India up and dragging her around, causing her boobs (for Drag Queens?) to fall rather unattractively down to her navel.
Mimi. Did we learn nothing from the unfortunate events of that tragic first episode? Well, in case you didn’t, RuPaul has reminded you that "drag is not a contact sport" and that you must now sashay, away. And for that, I sincerely thank her.
Miz J blogs at Ask Miz J.
BURNING QUESTION ANSWERED
Got Crazy In Your Family? Best To Swear Off The Devil's Weed
By Elizabeth C.IF PSYCHOSIS IS YOUR FUTURE, THEN SMOKING cannabis will hasten the crazy an average of 2.7 years earlier.
A meta-analysis of 83 studies "provide evidence for a relationship between cannabis use and earlier onset of psychotic illness,'' according to Australian researchers.
The findings, to be published in Archives of General Psychiatry, "support the hypothesis that cannabis use plays a causal role in the development of psychosis in some patients."
"Results of this study are conclusive and clarify previously conflicting evidence of a relationship between cannabis use and the earlier onset of a psychotic illness," said the study's author, Dr. Matthew Large of the University of New South Wales. "The results ... provide strong evidence that stopping or reducing cannabis use could delay or even prevent some cases of psychosis."
Yet Time points out that despite marijuana's increased use in recent decades, the percent of the population that suffers from schizophrenia remains stable at about one percent.
The most prudent response to the study? Avoid the devil weed if you have any history of schizophrenia in your family tree.
February 07, 2011
GROUNDED
Natalie Portman Will Not Be Seduced By Herself On Camera
By Elizabeth C.HOW DOES ACTRESS NATALIE PORTMAN STAY SO GROUNDED? One way is to avoid watching herself on film.
"I watch a film once, then never see it again," the expecting mother tells the Los Angeles Times. "I think it's dangerous to watch yourself.
I think you can get too used to seeing yourself outside of your body. And it's important to see the world through your own eyes, not looking at yourself."
The 29-year-old star is considered a frontrunner in the Oscar race this year for her performance as a paranoid dancer in Black Swan. The role, for which she bagged a Golden Globe, required her to undertake ballet training eight hours a day and to lose 20 pounds. "It took a lot to plan and maintain focus constantly," she says. "And I'm a pleasure seeker by nature, so it took a lot of self-punishment to work through pain and to not eat what I wanted to eat and not sleep as much as I normally do."
Even though she began imaging an acting career as a child, she says she questioned the profession's contribution to the world.
Is it as meaningful as being a doctor, being a teacher, or things that I think of as such noble professions?,'" pondered Portman rhetorically. "But I think I've really reconciled myself with that, and I think art is not only important but critical to the soul of a human and the soul of a community. Not to be self-important about what I do, but I've found a lot of meaning in it."
MERGER
AOL Snaps Up HuffPo For $315 Million
By Elizabeth C.AOL CLOSED A DEAL SUNDAY NIGHT TO BUY HUFFINGTON POST FOR $315 IN CASH AND STOCK, according to the New York Times.
By doing so, AOL picks up one of the web's "stickiest" news sites while boosting its own content resources. HuffPo, founded by Arianna Huffington in 2005 with $1 million in seed money, attracts 25 million readers a month. The website was expected to double its revenue this year to $60 million this year, compared to $31 million in 2010.
"HuffPost is on the cutting edge of creating news that is social and brings with it a distinctive voice and a highly engaged audience,'' Arianna Huffington wrote on her eponymous site Sunday night. "...Far from changing our editorial approach, our culture, or our mission, this moment will be, for HuffPost, like stepping off a fast-moving train and onto a supersonic jet. We're still traveling toward the same destination, with the same people at the wheel, and with the same goals, but we're now going to get there much, much faster."
The deal puts Huffington in charge of AOL’s editorial content; she becomes president and editor in chief of a newly created Huffington Post Media Group , according to the NYTs. The merger is predicted to create a media company capturing as many as 100 million readers a month. Negotiations have been underway since only last month.
The purchase comes only weeks after Demand Media surged in value to $1.5 billion after it went public. Speculation began immediately that it would seek to buy Huffington Post among other large successful Internet websites.
February 06, 2011
HISTORY UNBURIED
Mother Charged With Murder Five Decades After Infant's Death
By Elizabeth C.FIFTY-FOUR YEARS AFTER SHE KILLED HER INFANT DAUGHTER IN A FIT OF RAGE, JUSTICE FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH 74-YEAR-OLD RUBY KLOKOW.
Two years after her grown son walked into a Sheboygan , Wisc. police department and reported he believed his mother killed his seven-month-old sister, Klokow has been charged with second-degree murder. She faces up to 25 years in prison. "She stated she shouldn't have had any children, wished that she never had children, and knew she was 'mean' to them," according to a criminal complaint.
When baby Jeaneen died in 1957, investigators ruled the death an accident. But after James visited them with his suspicions in 2008, investigators dusted off the files. Inside them they found autopsy documenting injuries that two reviewing forensic experts concluded could not have been caused by a 16-inch fall from a couch.
James Klokow told investigators that his mother had been abusive to both him and three siblings, including another, Scott, who died in 1964. She had broken James' nose and arm, had kicked him with steel-toed boots and locked him in the basement for long stretches of time. He also reported seeing her each toe with a hammer while he wore a paper bag over his head.
For years his mother blamed him for the girl's death, telling him that he was fussing on the toilet when the girl fell from the couch. But the aged mother told investigators that she threw the baby toward the couch when both she and James were crying at the same time, according to an AOL story on the case.
James, now 55, is reportedly relieved that his mother's crimes have finally been revealed.
LOVE, ACTUALLY
For Nicole Kidman, Love's The Charm Second Time Around
By Madi S.NICOLE KIDMAN OPENS UP FOR THE FIRST TIME about the heartbreak she suffered when her marriage to megastar Tom Cruise crumbled.
The Oscar winner and new mum to Faith Margaret confided to Marie Claire UK issue that she was "damaged" after Tom Cruise filed for divorce.
The couple were married for 11 years and adopted two children, Connor and Isabella, who live with Cruise in Los Angeles. Nicole says she made many sacrifices for the marriage.
"I was never seeking to be a celebrity. But I was prepared to do that for love...It's hard when you're young. But I'm ready to give up anything for love, because ultimately, that is what you have."
When that relationship failed, Kidman had little faith she would love again -- until she met her husband, country crooner Keith Urban. The Aussie natives have created a life together in Nashville with wee ones Sunday Rose, 2, and Faith Margaret, born in December through a surrogate. The couple hope to extend their brood.
"'I want more children. I love being around that life force,'' Nicole said a recent interviewer. "Something happens to you as a woman once you've given birth. You change on a cellular level. You change and are altered."
At 43, Kidman sounds completely besotted with her new husband and her new life.
"I'm crazy in love," she says. “I think you can live anywhere and do anything when you're crazy in love. I'm very driven by falling in love. I fall in love and I'll drop everything and change everything.”
And that proves that second time around is the charm.
February 05, 2011
A WOLF IN SLEEK CLOTHING
The Predatory Pop Star Lady Gaga Goes Pink For Vogue
By Elizabeth C.Styleite has snagged a copy of next month's Vogue featuring the predatory popster Lady Gaga going pink.
The fashion website leaked the March issue with Gah on the cover looking like a modern flapper in a short, pink, banged bob and a cream low-waisted dress.
The cover was reportedly shot by Mario Testino at the Museum of Fine Arts in Antwerp, Belgium and is part of Gah's slow-boil release of her upcoming album Born This Way. Demonstrating her true marketing genius once again, Gaga zags when everybody's expecting a zig. In her latest incarnation she veers away from the rancid fierceness of the "meat dress" and into a softer more feminine, more commercial look for her latest sales pitch.
"Have you seen the AMAZING photo of my wifey on the new issue of American Vogue???,'' declares Perez Hilton, who wishes she were his wife. " Epic!"
The grating and ingratiating blogger writes that he "especially" loves the cover because it "pays homage to the iconic Gaga poses of back in 2008!"
I don't know if it's me or Perez who doesn't know the definition of "iconic," but it seems a little early to be harking back to the pop star's "iconic" days. Am I wrong?
UGLY EMERGES
Beautifuls Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry Lose Luster As Custody Battle Turns Ugly
By Elizabeth C.PRETTY PEOPLE, THEY'RE JUST LIKE US! Petty, vindictive and quarreling when relationships go wrong.
That's the illusion-shattering truth revealed by the developing guerilla warfare breaking out between Halley Berry and her sperm donor Gabriel Aubry.
The allegations so far: Gabriel uses the "N" word, is "borderline racist," and is routinely disrespectful to women in his life.
"He's a vindictive guy,''Stephanie Bibeau, a former business partner of Gabriel, Stephanie Bibeau, told People.
After the comely couple broke up, "he became verbally threatening to Halle," Bibeau said.
For her part, RadarOnline claims that Halle sent Aubry an email sniping, "You were only good for one thing... Thanks for the donation."
And in what's supposed to be a defense of the model, the online tabloid quotes a friend who claims that Aubry would never use the "N" word. "It's just not something that would come out of Gabriel's mouth," the source said. "I'll confess that I've heard him call her "a f***ing b**ch" before -- when he's been provoked, but I am talking serious provocation."
The revelations about the ugly breakup seems to have provoked unusual sympathy among bloggers. Salon headlined its piece on the fight, "Halle Berry's heartbreaking custody battle." instead of penciling some sperm drippings on the former partners' mouths, the Queen of all Media, Perez Hilton is beseeching them to "stop fighting!" And Jezebel is lamenting the diagnosis of Halle's "daddy issues" by armchair psychologists. "Her fight for custody of Nahla has likely given her enough to worry about — she doesn't need people speculating on her psyche too,'' writes Anna North at the site.
It strikes me that this breakout of sympathy is unusual on the blogosphere, proving once again that pretty has its privileges!
No matter how heartbreaking the situation is for Nahla and her parents, their dirty fighting is devastating to our illusions that the beautiful are different from the rest of us.
February 04, 2011
BRACE YOURSELVES
Beavis & Butt-Head Return For More Buttfoolery
PYROMANIACAL MISANTHROPES BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD ARE HEADED BACK TO TV.
When I heard the news, I skipped over to YouTube for a refresher on the sneering losers. And the first comment I encountered was, "I can feel my IQ dropping while watching this, but I can't stop." Bingo!
Yes, stupidity is contagious, and get ready for more of it when these loathsome Texas teens hit the airwaves 18 years after their first foray into suckage.
Creator Mike Judge, also of King of the Hill fame, has penned 30 new episodes to air this summer. Justin Bieber is joyous -- at least until he gets his latest pop production skewered by these heavy metal freaks.
But it's nothing to worry about. Because Rolling Stone tells us that the ugly and stupid "have a greater chance of being original." Huh-huh.
February 03, 2011
KEEPERS
Chicago's Snowpocalypse 2011 in Pictures
By Elizabeth C.THE BEAUTY AND CHAOS OF CHICAGO'S SNOWPOCALYPSE 2011 WAS CAPTURED BY CAMERA and shared by residents with the Chicago Tribune which solicited them for "posterity."
By Wednesday night, more than 700 photos had been submitted depicting everything from disaster and fear to delight and forlorn. And they still keep coming.
Here's the best culled from the bunch.
Above, the deliriously joyful Bailey takes flight and the move was shared by, of course, the "Chi Guy." Awesome pic, awesome dog!
A homeless man pleas for intervention as the storm approaches. Photo credit: Tom Lonka.
Abandoned cars block Lake Shore Drive Wednesday following the city's third worst blizzard in history. This picture was taken by Kip Wilkinson of northbound lanes near North and Fullerton on Lake Shore Drive.
Abandoned on Lake Shore Drive, this car was devoured by white stuff. Pic by Andrew Secrist.
A sojourner travels alone at Montrose Harbor Wednesday. Photo by Pichonjo.
A snowman chills in Andersonville.
Boy meets wonder. Here, Frances Franca Palermo's nephew greets the aftermath of the storm.
The setting sun casts shadow along the lakefront about 6pm Wednesday. Photo taken by 'BrandInnovator."
February 02, 2011
HISTORIC PINUP
Red Hot History: Farrah Fawcett's Iconic Swimsuit Goes To Smithsonian
StaffTHE FIRE ENGINE-RED HOT BATHING SUIT THAT FARRAH FAWCETT WORE TO INFAMY WILL become part of the permanent collection at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History.
Items that belonged to the 70s sex symbol have been donated by her longtime lover Ryan O'Neal, and the one-piece suit worn in her iconic swimsuit poster is part of the package.
The poster splashed the Charlie's Angel in red swimsuit and dazzling smile and sold 12 million copies, propelling the actress to stratospheric heights of fame. A generation of boys grew up ogling the pinup beauty.
Two years ago, the sexy symbol died of cancer. She was 63.
KISS KISS, BANG BANG
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion: A Toast To Douchebaggery
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERILY HILLS REUNION BEGINS WITH A QUESTION Camille Grammer raises: Is Kyle Richards a bully?
Part one ended with the highly-anticipated Camille-Kyle showdown and left viewers waiting to see tonight's tear-filled conclusion.
Now, after Kim and Lisa come to Kyle’s defense, Camille back-peddles as usual, but not before telling Kim that Kyle indeed bullies her sister. Camille then goes on the defensive, explaining that she is portrayed differently than how she is in real life. Of course, when you compare yourself to Jesus, it’s hard to believe that editing is to blame for her image.
The conversation quickly shifts to Lisa van der Pump’s former permanent houseguest, Cedric. In a separate interview, Cedric revealed his true feelings about her and hubby Ken. Apparently Lisa’s ego ballooned since moving to Beverly Hills, and Lisa responds by calling her former right-hand man "vile." No doubt Lisa and her husband were used by the young man they took in several years ago, and the first half of the reunion ended with usually upbeat Brit visibly shaken.
The husbands join in after a commercial break, and Andy Cohen asks if pre-nups were signed prior to tying the knot. Only Adrienne has signed one, and Lisa comments that those didn’t exist when she got married. Lisa and Ken discuss Cedric again, bringing Lisa to tears as Ken described the things Cedric said about her and her family.
Of course, many of the fan-submitted questions involved handsome Nick and his relationship with Camille. Why would she casually kiss a married man on the lips when she was still married to Kelsey? "I'm Italian," she shrugs.
Finally, we return to the Kyle Richards "bully" question. While footage of Kyle and Kim’s big argument in New York plays, the rest of the ladies look visibly upset to see the sisters fighting. Afterwards, Kyle asked Camille to switch seats with her, so she could sit next to her sister as they tearfully explain to Andy that they will always love each other and are working to repair their relationship. And then Taylor tries to say that she didn’t start that argument in the limo.
One of the reunion's more entertaining moments is a look-back on the majorly awkward dinner party with that weird red-headed, electronic cigarette-smoking psychic lady. After a few drinks, the medium went from weird to horrible and all the ladies finally agree on something: that woman was a nut-job.
The reunion ends with the Housewives sharing regrets of the past season. Champagne in hand, Lisa gives a toast as Andy says his only regret is that the first season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was ending.
Despite rumors that Kim may not return for season two, the show's future seems promising -- as long as the ladies continue feuding in America’s favorite zip-code.
Karen Malmquist is a sophomore at La Salle University, and the head writer and star of In Other News, a comedy series airing in Philadelphia.
HELP
Detroit Is A Wasteland Of Abandoned Dogs
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO BE SAD ABOUT IN THIS WORLD. ADD THIS TRAVESTY TO THE PILE.
Detroit has become an urban wasteland for unwanted, abandoned and neglected dogs. More than 50,000 of them roam the city scavenging for food and shelter, according to this video posted by Hush313 on YouTube.
The decaying city has about 23 animal control workers who collect about 40 dogs a day. Most of the dogs are killed because shelters are full and there are no homes available.
Society's appalling disregard for animals is evident In British Columbia, A hundred sled dogs are slaughtered because tourism was down. In South Dakota, the USDA casually targets 5,000 starlings for poisoning after a farmer complains about droppings in his feed meal. It's enough to make me surrender hope.
But not Hush313, who is doing two simple things: asking that we donate to www.detroitdogrescue.com, and then email the city's mayor at bingd@detroitmi.gov. and ask him not to "turn a blind eye" to the crisis. For his effort, Hush313 deserves a medal.
But I can't help think that it's too easy to just dump this problem on the ravaged rustbelt's city government. In a day when President Obama makes unholy compromises with Republicans just to get basic health care for the uninsured, more militant tactics are called for.
If we can't get America's perpetually battling politicians to pull their heads out of their arses to even tackle intractable problems, then perhaps it's time we started shaming the individually filthy rich to resolve issues like Detroit's abandoned dog problem.
Instead of the web's fanboys spitting up glittery words for Apple's Steve Jobs, Facebook's Mark Zuckerburg and Google's Sergei Brin and Larry Page, it'd be nice if now and then they demanded that these billionaires give back. Who knows, maybe even implement a widespread spaying program in Detroit.
Instead of recommending followers read The Secret, it'd be nice if dog lover Oprah Winfrey donated some of her millions to the problem that can't be imagined away.
Think of the tangible good Meg Whitman could have done with the $144 million of her own money she spent chasing the California governorship. W.T.F.? Or the $45 million Larry Page spent for his superlux yacht he bought late last year.
Pick a name off Forbes' rich list and let's get busy personalizing responsibility. Because accountability is only achieved when you have a face attached to a name.
But first, can you send a few dollars to www.detroitdogrescue.com?
Via Gawker.TV.
SCARY
What 'Snowmaggedon' Looks Like From Above
THE SATELLITE PICTURE ABOVE FROM THE National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration illustrates the 'monster' storm pummeling much of the nation. Call it whatever you want -- the Snowpocalypse, an old-fashioned blizzard, or my favorite Snotorious B.I.G, the storm extending from New Mexico to Maine is complicating life for up to 100 million Americans.
Across the country, airports are shutdown, roads are impassable and commerce is halted.
In Chicago, where Tuesday night's snow shared the sky with -- I kid you not -- thunder and lightning, up to two feet of snow and 18-foot waves were predicted to slam the city. For the first time in 12 years, Chicago Public Schools declared Wednesday a snow holiday for its 410,000 students.
Blizzard warnings were issued for eight, including Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, Kansas, Michigan, Missouri, Oklahoma and Wisconsin.
In the lexicon of a certain popular blogger, be afraid, be very afraid.
TUG OF WAR
Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry Tussle Over Baby Nayla
HALLE BERRY'S LIFE HAS BEEN A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE OF UPS AND DOWNS, abusive relationships and career success. But her life took on a fairytale sheen once she had her baby Nahla with model boyfriend Gabriel Aubry. That was until she broke up with her baby daddy in April of 2010.
Meanwhile, Berry hookup with her costar French actor, Olivier Martinez. Now, in surprising move, Aubry is asking a judge to officially declare him the father of the 2-year old, and filed a paternity petition in a bid to protect his rights. That is when things started getting messy once again for Halley.
It's unclear why the Oscar winner actress is challenging his request by fighting him in court. She dropped out of a movie New Year’s Eve to resolve the issue. In a statement, the Oscar-winning beuty says that “she has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with her daughter's father, Gabriel Aubry, directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle has no choice but to seek swift judicial intervention. Halle has serious concerns for her daughter's well-being while in the care of her father for any extended period of time and is prepared to take all necessary steps to protect her.”
Nobody knows why Halle Berry is so against sharing custody with her ex. Is because of his recent hookups with he notorious Hollywood party girl, Kim Kardashian?
February 01, 2011
A SHOO-IN
Ricky Gervais Gets The Last Laugh: Invited Back To Golden Globes
PROVING FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BAD PRESS, scissor-tongued Ricky Gervais has been invited back for a third year to host the Golden Globe Awards.
Despite raising hair on the necks of A-listers at this year's award ceremony, Gervais tells Heatworld.com that organizers want him back at the podium in 2012.
"The ratings went up again, and the organizers asked me to consider a third year,'' Gervais writes. "I don't think I should. I don't know what I could do better. I certainly couldn't get more press for them, that's for sure. You know me, two seasons is enough. "
But did we enough of Ricky, who was the award show's biggest winner? That's the main question.
We're willing to bet a barrel of money that there's a figure north of what he got paid this year to bring him back. See you next year, Ricky!
Via Gawker.
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TRAN
Trannies From Outer Space: A RuPaul's Drag Race Recap
OH. MY. SPARKLY. STARS!
Tonight the ethereal Miss Lily Tomlin graces us with her presence. But before I go there, I have to boldly go…
to the work room, where Ru makes the gals pair up with the diva they think they're most psychologically insync with.
Clearly, this isn't an exact science, but the girls pair off like it's third grade science all over again, and make educated guesses to get them through. In the end, Phoenix and Mariah emerge victorious, being the only pair to correctly guess the color of the plush kitty (not pink, surprisingly) that one of them is holding.
This little ruse determines who will play director for two hotly anticipated camp films written by RuPaul: Drag Queens from Outer Space: From Earth to Uranus and Drag Queens from Outer Space: Return to Uranus. I give them both five stars, especially because RuPaul unveils them with such an air of sophistication, like “For Your Consideration…”
So each gal has to pick her team, kickball style. Phoenix chooses Raja, Delta, India, Manila and Carmen. Mariah chooses Yara, Alexis, Shangela, Stacy…and lastly, the one with actual acting chops, Mimi. Naturally, Mimi's thousands of ACTING! emotions are swirling over being chosen last (the OUTRAGE!), and yet, like a true pro, she doesn’t let it hamper her performance, but enhance it.
Here we go -- lights! Camera! Action! Fake boobs! Wigs! Jewelry! The girls dig into it all (and that eventually includes the scripts, too). Although, from the start, there are doubts about Phoenix and her leadership abilities. You can tell she's uncomfortable. And then, of course, there's Mimi: Will she overact or overreact?
RuPaul, her majesty, enters gracefully. "Ladies, on the set you'll be visited by…"
There's a pause, and I'm like, “Three spirits?” OMG, can you imagine the kind of spirits those would be? At least one would be a cocktail, and the other two would be such a swirl of glitter and sparkle it would be like My Little Pony visiting me in my 6-year-old dreams. Yes! Please say it’s three spirits, RuPaul. "Michelle Visage and Alessandra Torassoni." Oh. LE SIGH.
RuPaul swans around the workroom, asking Phoenix why she didn't take the lead for herself, like a true diva would. And of course, Mimi can't help but to overpower. Regardless, RuPaul reminds them to make sure it's a "hit picktcha!" and not to "fuck it up." Words to live by.
It's time to act it out, with Alessandra and Michelle giving pointers. Pheonix's team goes first, and here are the facts: Delta spends more time on her hair than her lines. Which is perfect, because she plays Boobarella. Let’s face it, the lines are scarce and big, blond hair like Pam Anderson’s does in fact an Oscar make. I’m pretty sure that’s how Pam herself got famous in the first place, right?
Phoenix is clearly uncomfortable in her own skin. The judges keep reminding her to look at and engage with the camera, and she’s just…distracted? Michelle intervenes with, "What is your character feeling right now?" And I'm looking at her space-age getup thinking, “Giant silver Madonna cones?”
On to Mariah’s team, where Shangela and Alexis are killing it as the sexy robot twins joined together by the weave. I am laughing hard enough to create my own little drama on the couch, and I have to stop and compose myself like the diva I am. Even Mimi, who's overdoing it a wee bit, is clearly having a great time as the villainess Hermaphrodite. Although we get a little bit of that Shangela shade right here: "Miss Mimi, there’s a difference between being talented and being a showboat." No, I disagree. When you're ON STAGE, there’s no such thing as being a showboat -- there’s only your chance to shine. And I'm glad Mimi takes it, because it gains her the recognition from RuPaul that she doesn't get from her peers. Vindication is the best revenge.
Premiere time with Miss Tomlin rolls around, and our girls are decked out in their best space-age couture. Let's dish: first off, Raja is killing shit again with this C3PO’s slutty cousin ensemble. I love it. Other divas worth a shout: India, Alexis, Shangela.
Then there was Carmen. Again with the body, and some wacky hair she can't control. Okay, she has these hair rings that are GLUED to her head but are pulling themselves out, and her head is stuck in this weird position to keep everything together. Michelle warns her again not to rely so much on her body, and I hope she hears the warning this time, because she's gonna be bald and pneumonic soon.
The judges decide that Mariah's team wins because naturally, that's where all the talent is. Shangela, Alexis and Mimi are all recognized, and RuPaul says she can only choose one of them. Pause, sad faces, then: “Oh, the hell with the rules. Shangela and Alexis, you’ll each win a pair of Boobs for Drag Queens, from Boobs for Drag Queens. Miss Tomlin, did you hear me? I said Boobs for Drag Queens." Listen, if loving RuPaul is somehow wrong, then I never want to be right. This woman is all that.
So that means Team Phoenix is on the block this week (excluding Raja, who is immune, due to her superior fierceness last week). Delta’s shiny outfit comes into question, and she must explain that she was going for that “50s/60s retro futuristic look.” And the dude is all, “Well, other than its shininess, I don’t see how this is futuristic.” Um. SAID THE DUDE IN THE SHINY SHIRT. Discredited!
Carmen is issued another warning about overrelying on her body. But she's safe from the Lip Sync For Your Life challenge, probably because she's HOLDING her hair onto her head at this point. It’s between Phoenix and Delta, who must battle it out to Bad Romance.
Phoenix is all over it, “I want them to see the fire in my eyes right now,” and I laugh because that is SO what every hopped up raver in the club is totally thinking to themselves at like 2AM on Thursday under the strobe light in the center of the floor. But it’s also the main difference between these two divas.
"Delta’s being herself and Phoenix is just copying Gaga," India says.
Shangela puts a finer point on it: "Phoenix is a man doing moves." So he he must sashay away. And that pretty much clinches this fierce dance off -- which is so much better than last week’s.
Thank you ladies. And now, until next week, sashay.
