Jason Davis is an extreme douche. I suspect that's his actual addiction -- being an insufferable asshat. He skips out and his getaway car ditches him; that's how much of an asshat he is. No, wait, he skips out, his getaway car ditches him and he can't even get JASON WHALER to go with him – THAT'S how much of an asshat he is. So, naturally, this week's episode starts with another non-issue: the fact that anyone can leave at any time, but may be denied re-entry. So…why are we giving the asshat more camera time? The fucking rehab doesn't even really care if he stays or goes, so why should we?

New day, new pack of cigarettes, new sessions with Dr. Drew. Eric tries to reunite with his stepson, who he apparently beat the crap out of about 16 years ago. Keaton has his reservations about seeing Eric, but not enough of them to stay away from the cameras, so off we go. It's interesting because last week Eric was all, "Well, here's how the fight went down: basically he was being a loud teenager and I was shitfaced but kept it together and just asked him to turn down the music." And Keaton's story, while very different from Eric's, didn't change between then and now: "He came outside and started pushing me and threatening me and he lunged at me and I grabbed a bat and hit him. I haven't spoken to him since.” Now that they're in group together, suddenly Eric remembers "every deeeeetail."

So now it's the Friends & Family weekend, and everyone's family members show except of course for Rachel's. Which means more camera time for the dejected slut. I'm sorry; I'm just utterly sick of her horseshit. She's not addicted to anything, she's totally unsupportive of everyone around her (witness her disengaged "wows" every time someone opens up to her) and she's managed to manipulate every dude occupying a bed at this resort posing as a rehab facility. She's so fake and off-putting her own mother can't be arsed; instead, she sends a letter. Unfortunately, the letter doesn't tell this two-bit LA starfucker to wear a damn bra.

More terrible Maroon 5 knockoff songs play us to a scene with Dr. Drew, Jason Whaler and his totally clueless parents, Rick and Denese (of course it’s not the normal spelling), who claim they had no idea about his partying until that Laguna Beach shitshow began airing. No idea, really? How disconnected do you have to be from your LIVE-IN SON to be completely unaware that he's overdoing it? And overdoing what, exactly? Because I still have no clue why he's here.

I noticed that Leif's mom was looking kinda sickly, and it turns out that this poor woman is dying of lung cancer. And yet she's still focused on this jackass who can’t even pull it together for the six months it will take for the disease to run its course. Whatever drug he's doing, it's not as powerful as that selfishness coursing through his veins. Dr. Drew tells her not to bail Leif out anymore and Leif immediately starts in about how addicts don't deserve to be in jail, WAH WAH. It's like, every time this woman tries to take care of herself, this 50-year-old starts throwing hissy fits like a 10-year-old. Leif, come to terms with some shit, wipe that crusty, week-old eyeliner off your face and take care of your fucking mother, you fried-out little bitch.

This place -- and these people -- disgust me.

Miz J blogs at Ask Miz J.