We start off this round with a fight between Danielle and Caroline regarding the Brownstone event -- you remember, the CHARITY event. Danny calling her kid a faggot. The difference between Danny saying faggot and Joe saying gaylord. So tired.

Ms. "Gay advocate" Danielle is shot down by Andy for letting the f-word go out without a word. She still doesn’t get it. She thinks because "she" didn’t say it, oh well. She can’t take responsibility but says she really reprimanded Danny later. Uh huh. But Andy won’t let it go, his eyes crossing all over the place, this has got his dander up. He and the chicks agree Danielle won't cop to anything.

Then talk turns to who's stalking who. Caroline claims her neighbor caught Danielle stalking her. Her white Ranger Rover's a dead getaway and since Caroline has the same car he thought it was her and waved. So he got a good look. I definitely believe that since she was willing to go the Brownstone, uninvited, with her girls in tow. They accuse her of fucking married men and she is highly insulted. Highly. She walks off saying she will NOT be attacked by all of them. "Pig," Teresa yells. So classy. Jacqueline acts like she's ready to rumble, jumps up ready to run after girlfriend before Andy stops her.

“

Charity work? That gets boring. Much more fun calling your former girlfriend all kinds of pieces of shit in front of an elegant restaurant in your hometown...

”

Danielle, backstage, rails that girlfriend Lori can tell ya she ain't sleeping with men. At least, not right now. Then she accuses Caroline of being jealous of her great bod and square tits, since they are the same age. We see Lori, hands over her face, commiserating with Danielle.

Clips of the Danielle/Dina summit:

Dina: You're fucking crazy.

Danielle: Don't you ever call me crazy.

Dina: I'm out.

Danielle doesn't feel responsible for Dina leaving the show but, well, how much of Danielle is one person supposed to take? You go, girl. And ya did.

Oh Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. A viewer doesn't agree with Jacqueline’s parenting but her kid is a 19-year-old willful know-it-all. All up in grown folks business without a clue. Having a Facebook war with a middle-aged woman. Pulling somebody's weave. What do you do? I don't believe for a minute she pulled Danielle’s hair because she thought she had done something to her mother. That’s extreme bullshit and her parents know it. I think they're trying the best they can in a difficult situation.

Danielle denies Jacqueline's assertion that she replied to Ashley on Facebook. She even tweeted, after someone wished Ashley would kill herself so he could celebrate his birthday with Danielle, that she hoped his wishes came true. She just says maybe her reply was to another tweet but they have her dead to rights. But proof . She needs proof. She would never reply to something like that. Everyone raises their voices with Danielle shouting, finally, she’s sorry. Caroline rolls her eyes. There’s a whole lot of eye-rolling tonight. I’m joining you, ladies.

Clips from the Kim D fashion show. The glaring across the room, the asking if bitch is better, the $5 million house in foreclosure, the running, the screaming, the embarrassing parking lot brouhaha. “Who started that fight,” Andy asks. Then says viewers think Teresa started it. Which she did. Meet her in the school yard, not the country club, if you so bad. Another viewer is suspicious that not that much hair came outta Danielle’s head.

Then, the pièce de résistance: Danielle brings out a wig head, with extensions, to demonstrate how difficult it is to pull a weave out, and how it also pulls your own hair out. Andy tugs and tugs with no luck. He finally pulls it out but Ashley just grabbed real quick so she didn’t take that much hair out. I agree with the viewer -- it’s suspicious. Teresa giggles through the whole thing. Danielle calls it vicious. To her, everyone, including Ashley, took it lightly. Andy pretty much says even the viewers did, ha. That they thought the lady protests way too much. Then Danielle talks abuse which isn't funny but she’s just too fucking much with the victim act. Too fucking much.

Where is Kim G? I have to say that what I did see of this season was flat unless Kim G. entered the picture. I wish her much success in her climb aboard the Housewives train. You can see she doesn’t need the money but she gets so much enjoyment at being a two-faced bitch. Well, what else was she doing? Charity work? That gets boring. Much more fun calling your former girlfriend all kinds of pieces of shit in front of an elegant restaurant in your hometown while on camera.

The Caroline/Danielle summit clip show. Boring. Danielle went to be called garbage... again. Which, didn’t she vow that would never happen... again? On the couch, they get into it... again. They each want to know what the other has done to them. Uh, ladies, maybe nothing. You’re just creating chaos out of air. Hello. But I hope Danielle doesn’t drop the charges against Ashley. I’ll back her up on that. Ashley laughed in her face when she asked for an apology. O no she didn’t. Forget her. Gotta learn her lesson the hard way.

Sweet Jacqueline pleads for peace, the chaos makes her feel bad. Not healthy and all that, not positive, it’s gotta stop. Danielle says she’s sorry for some things, that she loved Jacqueline. (But not in that way, LOL. ) They’re looking into each others eyes and having a real heart to heart. That doesn’t stop Caroline from rolling those eyes. But I think it’s touching. Really. I do.

Then Danielle weakly tells Jacqueline she’s sorry about the Ashley business. That they don’t have to be friends but can be civil. Caroline, lips pursed, looking like she just wants to be rid of this bitch, says she hopes it’s all over.

Andy gets Danielle to try to lower the charges against Ashley. Teresa says she’s really not trying to hurt Danielle. With that, Danielle gets up and goes over and embraces Teresa, then she sits down and holds onto Jacqueline a real looooooooooong time, whispering sweet nothings in her ear about love and friendship. Everyone looks uncomfortable. She and Caroline shake hands. Then Caroline says this is the biggest crock of shit she’s ever seen in her life, this phony bullshit. Danielle shouts that the second Jacqueline reaches out Caroline calls shit on it. They agree they don’t like each other. We can’t let love and friendship bust up the Jersey gang.

I'll leave you with two words - Beverly Hills.

SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she frequently writes on TV, America's favorite snack food.