In Mary's defense, Stacie and Jason jump all over their hosts, who wonder why they're not on their side. It was their shit that was stolen. Jason eventually registers his discomfort with the entire situation and say that if Tareq had accused his child he would've been all over him. Physically, I guess, cause he WAS all over him just now. Mary thinks Tareq's just an angry drunk and he does seem kinda slurry. Who brings something like that up at a wine dinner unless they want to cause serious drama? These two are drama queens of the highest order. As delusional as Danielle Staub.

Tareq says that there's a federal investigation going on about which Stacie and Jason are incredulous: "Over some polo equipment?"

The Feds. Really? Tareq insists it's true. And everybody's going to jail. Mary sits with her head in her hands wondering what the fuck is going on. She's done and out.

It's a solemn limo ride home. They wonder, as do I, why a beautiful day had to be ruined like that. Those damn Salahis.

There's a restaurant girlfab with Lynda. Stacie spills the story. How it was just an average day, and then someone accuses someone's child of stealing. Lynda says who would do that in public and calls Tareq a whackjob and they giggle at the couple's antics. Cat wonders why Mary stayed at all.

Mary confronts Lolly with Tareq's charges and Lolly calls him crazy but doesn’t really deny it. It seems something went on that she was involved with. Damn that Facebook. Daddy Rich says it would depend on how much alcohol he's had as to what he would do if he were to confront Tareq. Mary determines to get to the root of the problem starting with a call to the police.

Michaele has dinner with her Eve Carrington-like personal assistant/best friend, Jen. They dish about Cat and how rude she is. Michaele says she's given her love and has gotten nothing in return. She calls Mary, Lynda and Cat wicked stepsisters. They're always trying to burst her bubbles. She sees nothing wrong with bringing up the Lolly problem with Mary at dinner and warns about Facebook. It'll bite ya.

Rich and Mary chat about the "incident" and Rich says his research found nothing so they agree that those bitches just made that stuff up. Bitches. Meanwhile Lynda and Stacie talk Virginia real estate.

Stacie wonders how Lynda, the Georgetown chick, will survive in ultra suburban McLean.

Then, then, that damn British socialist Cat captures my heart. She lunches, at the Mayflower, with Republican health care lobbyist Edwina Rogers, all blond hair and red lips. It's a job Cat describes as a bit of an oxymoron. Hee. She immediately begins relating her health care money woes to someone who looks like she could really care less -- she just enjoys lunching at the Mayflower and asks for a cucumber sandwich. Things get awkward real quick as Cat spews her "deplorable state of health care" spiel, human rights and all that, ya know. Edwina totally ignores her. Cat's incredulous that Edwina thinks Sarah Palin would have made a good president. Edwina changes the subject by inviting Cat to a Washington insider party and wonders if after Cat would consider becoming a Republican. "Not even if I was 6 feet under," Cat meows.

Stacie and Jason dine with Lynda and boyfriend Ebong. Egong is Nigerian and Stacie hopes he may help her find her birth father, who is also Nigerian. She does realize Nigeria is a country and not a neighborhood, right? Anyway, I’m sorry but “birth parent finding” is just not that interesting to me. Sue me. Then we tour Lynda's huge new house. OMG, the kitchen is banging -- lots of lovely wood with a library ladder to reach the top cabinets. I could live in the kitchen alone and be happy. And she's planning renovations! Girlfriend's got bank!

Cat attends Edwina's gathering, along with the rest of the ladies, sans Lynda, who tells us she always prefers to be anywhere that the Salahis aren't.

Michaele and Tareq arrive, with Jen/Eve and immediately begin glad-handing everyone in the room. Stacie's resigned to them acting as if the weird stuff at the winery dinner didn’t happen. Her councilman, David Catania, is there and she says he's a health care and gay marriage advocate, so she was very interested in chatting with him. Make note of that.

Then Cat makes her entrance - in costume as Sarah Palin!! Stacie does a double take before realizing who it really is. She has the hair, the glasses, a sticker that reads Alaska and a convention lanyard from 2008. It's a scream. Stacie tells us Cat has balls of steel but still wonders if she's lost her mind. Balls she definitely has.

Cat's husband, Charles the handsome photographer, just shakes his head when asked WTF was she thinking. Then we hear sirens and a man makes an announcement that Edwina's taken ill. I think Cat just freaked her out and gave her the vapors. Cat thinks she was embarrassed her gathering drew so few.

Cat confronts assistant Jen/Eve about how bitchy she was to her at the winery and Jen/Eve pretty much blows her off. Then Cat and Michaele get ready to face off but Cat instead slinks away. Michaele says Cat can dish it out but she can't take it. Cat goes on to us that Michaele, with her double shaking of the hands and ditzy flitzing and Mary abuse, is just full of shit.

The next episode gave us more Oasis winery Tareq/Mommy drama. Cop cars and everything. Michaele's teary when relating the situation and tells us she loves Tareq, that's why she stays and puts up with it. Stacie goes house hunting with the Salahis, who are looking for a home that resembles the Four Seasons hotel and has room for entertaining 200-250 folks. But, when she asks for price ranges, Michaele says it could be the $100,000 house or the $12 million house. Whaaa? That makes no fucking sense at all and Stacie is sure they're bullshitting her. Especially when they want to put the defunct winery up as collateral.

There's also some continued conflicts between Cat and Mary/Stacie friend Erika. Seems ever since Cat said she didn't care for Tyra Banks, Erika has had it in for her. Is she kidding me? I mean really. She seems to care very much about that -- too fucking much. It’s really ridiculous. Don’t like Cat. But don’t not like her because she doesn’t think Tyra Banks is the be-all, end-all. So silly. Stuff like that is what drives me away from these women.

Anyway, there's a meeting in Councilman Catania’s office with Stacie, Jason, Mary, Lynda and their gay friend Paul. They chat about the marriage equality bill that has just passed. Gay Paul's jaw drops when he hears his friend Mary say that the bill doesn’t really touch her life. Well, she has no gays in her family, ya'll. Her daughter later schools her on the rights of everyone to be free to love who they love. It's in the constitution. Pursuit of happiness and all that. Paul’s eyes are opened when he hears Stacie and Jason’s adamant stand on their belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. He wonders to us if any of them should even BE his friends.

The finale features the infamous caper that got the Salahis on this show. Their crash of the White House state dinner. Get ready.