They plan to see a doctor that Roger knows to "take care of it," a procedure with which we learn Joan is familiar. She calmly and coolly sits in the waiting room, watching a mother as her teenage daughter goes in for her own abortion. The mom falls apart and Joan offers some kind words. The mom says, "Thanks for being so understanding. How old is your daughter?" Joan does that look again, and the woman freezes up. "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry." Without skipping a beat, Joan covers up her own scandal flawlessly: "Fifteen."

Elsewhere, Sally is in the doldrums over Don's reluctance to take her in full-time. But she perks up when Don phones to tell her that he's got tickets for the Beatles' show at Shea Stadium. In fact, she drops the phone and screams. But it's in a good way, as opposed to last week’s temper tantrum in the SCDP hallway. So Dad is a hero again in Salamander's eyes.

In other father-kid relations, Lane is about to take those two weeks to see his son Nigel. But he gets a visit from his abusive father Robert instead. Robert is insistent that Lane come back to London and patch up his family. What we later learn is that Lane has met someone, Toni, a black waitress at the Playboy Bunny restaurant. Which of course thrills Robert to no end. And when I say "thrill," I really mean "inspires Robert to beat Lane upside the head with his cane."

If you'’ve been wondering where Roger's taken himself while Joan is "taking care of IT," look no further than the dank restaurant/watering hole with the red leather booths. He's drowning in a vat of gin with Lee from Lucky Strike. And when the bill arrives, Roger is suspicious when Lee picks it up. Lee breaks the terrible news: the board has decided to consolidate agencies, and they're taking all the business to BBDO. Roger is pissed; after a hissy fit, he gets Lee to agree to give SCDP 30 days to convince the board to stay. Unfortunately, he has no idea that shit is about to hit the fan elsewhere within the rebel agency.

Agents from the American Airlines account are doing a security clearance on all involved SCDP employees, including the elusive Don Draper. The agents pay Betty a visit and spook her so thoroughly that she and Don are allied for a brief moment; she lies for him when they ask, "Is there any reason to believe that Don Draper isn't who he says he is?"

Betty immediately calls Don to inform him of the background check; this makes him very anxious, even around Faye, who totally smells a rat, and spends most of the episode trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I like Faye. She reminds me of Nancy Drew, only with more bullshit busting power and none of those Scooby-esque revelations.

Freaked the fuck out, Don hauls ass to find Pete, the only person besides the recently-deceased Anna Draper who knows his true identity. Pete has a friend at the Defense Department, and Don wants him to help cover up the Dick Whitman/Don Draper thing. Pete being Pete, he's half disgusted by Don’s predicament and half amused by it. In a moment of sweaty elevator desperation, Don asks Pete, "What am I supposed to do?" And Pete responds: "I don't know. You’ve been doing it for years. I don’t have to live with your shit over my head.” He grabs Don and says, rather forcefully, "I signed this account when you disappeared in California. It’s taken 3 years but I’ve grown it from cocktails to $4 million." Don, regaining his cool when he sees what Pete's trying to do, says, “Get rid of it.”
Ultimately, after whining to a very pregnant Trudy about it ("How is it that some people just walk through life, dragging their lies with them, destroying everything they touch?"), he chooses to fall on his sword for Draper and resign the account to stop the investigation into Don. But not before securing something for himself first, although we aren't yet made privy to what that is or will be.

Now that Don knows his secret isn’t really safe anymore, he's having a violent reaction. The anxiety is palpable; Faye refuses to leave him alone, despite his furious insistence. He shakes, loses his breath, vomits…it ain't pretty. But it seems to be the physical separation of Don from Dick -- a necessary evil. As he recuperates in his bed, he tells Faye his secret. And she fearlessly says, "I’m glad you told me." That's it. In my mind, Faye is the new Anna Draper.

Monday morning at SCDP brings about the partners' meeting. Joan assures Roger that she’s fine; Roger seems a bit wistful. He still wants to be with Joan, but Joan knows there's no there, there. She's moved on.

Pete reveals that American Airlines will be leaving SCDP due to a clerical error. He takes the blame for the error, and receives a real mouthful from Roger about how to do his job. Bert and Don make him apologize for the outburst and he does, begrudgingly. Lane reveals he'll be going back to London, and that Joan will care for things in his stead. Roger…says nothing. Just laughs.

At the end of the episode, a beleaguered Megan, who’s been working Don's desk since Ms. Blankenship's sudden departure, brings Don the Beatles tickets he’s been waiting for. "So you see, everything worked out fine."

Some strange things are about to happen.

Miz J blogs at Ask Miz J.