Paul The Prophetic Octopus Gets No Honor In His Country
NO HONOR
Paul The Psychic Octopus Gets No Honor In His Country
IT'S TOUGH BEING A PROPHET IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY. Just ask Oprah or Paul the psychic octopus.
Goddamn German ingrates, threatening to eat the only octopus known to mankind to be able to predict outcomes, or specifically, the winner of six-out-of-six German World Cup games.
Here's a creature that humans didn't even know perceived football hegemony and he's accurately predicting wins!
And now that the Germans have been ousted by Spain, what do his bitter countrymammals want to do?
Cut off his head, chop off his tentacles, mix in a little soy and serve a miracle on a plate!
They want to kill the messenger!
Why would they want to squander this golden opportunity to find out more things about the future?
Like, ‘Should we all withdrawal our money from the market now before the next Great Depression?’ Or ‘Should the German government stick with its plan to discourage consumer spending at the risk of further financial decline?’
Or ‘Will his sea brethren ever recover from the poison muck spewing in the Gulf?
Or even something more mundane, like ‘Will the Chicago Bulls net LeBron James for their team?’
Because to think of killing such a fortune teller is just plain stupid and mean.
Lucky for “the Oracle Octopus,” his caretaker Oliver Walenciak promises to stay on guard.
”There are always people who want to eat our octopus, but he is not shy and we are here to protect him as well,’’ said Walenciak. “He will survive.”
Oi, the plight of the prophet.
Condemned for seeing the future, yet revered from afar.
