Alex tells her there's been enough drama. So Jill says she’ll leave, she’d just hoped to see Bethenny but they shut her down and kick her out. Damn right. Too late now, honey. It's really very awkward. Alex tells us Jill was saying F.U. to all the ladies by just walking in and trying to destroy the party.

Jill says Ramona chose Alex over her as she sits, alone and red-eyed, in the backseat of her car. Ramona tries to smooth things over. Jill talks about the shitload of money Bobby spent but Ramona says her guests were upset. Jill tries the guilt trip -- 'I thought we were friends.' Better four be happy than one and the others miserable.

Ramona tells us that maybe Jill’s been hanging out with Kelly too much and she's getting divorced from reality. Bethenny tries to get Bobby to know it's not him, it’s his fucking crazy wife. Jill's so hurt and cries on Bobby's shoulder, saying, “That was so mean. That was not nice.” O well.

Sonja says they threw a friend out. Ramona says no, she wasn’t invited. Bethenny says she wanted to make a grand entrance and think she's saving the day. Jill curses Alex to us and says that she guesses Bethenny doesn't want to make up. Uhhhh, she's just getting that. What?

At dinner that night the ladies rejoice that they can relax and not worry about offending anyone; no drama, just fun. Talk turns to baby bumps and sonograms. Back to dating and the sizes of penis. Then Alex surprises Ramona and Bethenny with a little bridal shower. Out come the handcuffs and crystal ribbons for bedpost tie-ups. Sonja's surprised that with all the talk of Ramona and Mario in forever love, that Ramona doesn't quite get the handcuff thing and wonders how they keep it fresh. Hmmmmm. Ramona is beet-red and slightly uncomfortable throughout the gift-giving.

Jill has lunch with LuAnn, Jen the event planner and Kelly. She's sad-faced and puppy-eyed. She says she understands why they did it but it just wasn’t handled well. Kelly appears looking just like Jill. All sad. She says she was still shell-shocked from the trip. Then she gossips about how she just can't stand gossiping. She tells them that Bethenny told her to have a one-night stand and how she called her a ho-bag. But really, Sonja said that she couldn’t believe she’d never had one. Then the cook verses chef thing.

Then she blatantly LIES. She BOLDFACE lies. She snarls that in addition to the press harassment Bethenny SAID, "I went out of my way to have a smear campaign against you." Are YOU kidding me? If you heard that please let me know. Jill tells us that she doesn’t understand a word girlfriend is saying, with the candy and all. And Jen the event planner, bless her heart, recites the "your version, my version and then there's the truth” adage.

Sonja's having a party for an emerging artist at her lavish abode. Did I tell you she's from the J.P. Morgan’s? Ah, yes. All the girls are there.

LuAnn kids Simon about not going on the girls' trip and Bethenny tells her it was terror on the high seas. "Poison Island," LuAnn says Kelly called the weekend, and said that everyone ganged up on her. While sauntering up to the group, Sonja's hot, red halter wrap dress begins to become undone and she charmingly says, “This dress is so well-trained it knows to just come off, hahahahaha." I love her.

They all retire to a quiet room to chat. Bethenny says there's something wrong with girlfriend. Sonja says she was trying to comfort her. LuAnn tries to defend her but Bethenny says she see needs to be checked in somewhere. She says Kelly had a breakdown in St. John and that’s it. By the by, Kelly’s blog on this subject had two lines whereas the other women fully explained their feelings on the matter: "I have never endured such a difficult time with four women. Trust your instincts. And my instincts say "you a bit crazy, gurl."

We're at Jill’s holiday ice-skating party in Bryant Park. Family, friends and fabulous gift bags. The ladies come with kids in tow.

Jill says she misses Bethenny and talks to her sister about inviting her to lunch. Wah, wah, I wanna let things go, I never thought it would get to this, she’s pregnant. Bobby told her not to cut her off, just move back a bit, I wanna pretend none of it every happened. Wah, wah. I can’t believe she’s acting like this. The way she cut Bethenny to the quick for no good reason. But she calls. And Bethenny accepts, telling us that she had called Jill so many times to have lunch, but she's just beaten down, so, fuck it, she’ll go.

Jill changes into a pink sparkly skating outfit. She's the only person on the ice tonight in a costume. Says when she was nine she skated and a lot of people didn't know that. Didn’t we all skate at that age? Does she mean headed for the Olympics or that she was just a skater? Anyway, she’s the only nut in a costume, wants to do a performance and promptly falls on her face as the crowd tries not to laugh. She twirls a couple more times then takes photos with fans.

Ramona arrives hoping things will be OK between her and Jill. But Kelly corners her first. She wants to talk, but Ramona says now is not the time. Kelly won't back off and says Ramona asked her on the trip, said she had her back and then let them eat her. Ramona pretty much says she supported her until she fucking lost it.

Kelly begins freaking again out over being forced to be with Bethenny who absolutely hates her, ya know, and... and those other women. Ramona apologies to her but she's not really sure for what. For handcuffing her at gunpoint and making her hang out with those horrible, horrible women on a lovely yacht beside the Hooters yacht and then yachting off to a beautiful cliff-side mansion on a gorgeous bay. That's just my guess.

Jill says she’s happy to see Ramona and she’s not looking to pick a fight since it’s been a rough couple of months for her. Ramona said if maybe Jill had said something funny, but because Jill wasn’t recognizing the ill will towards her it ended badly. They hug and make up.

SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes on TV, America's favorite snack food.