She’s creeped out that Bethenny is out and about so soon after her father’s death (??????), tells her she's having dreams of Bethenny killing her.

Jill’s wondering what the fuck she’s talking about because she's really making no sense.

Friends and the blogosphere are chattering that the girl's bi-polar, took too much medicine, left her medicine state-side, that she's seriously ill. I dunno. I think she's finally run into someone, Bethenny, who sees clear through her and won't stand for her cutesy bullshit. And, for some secret reason only know to her, it scares her to death.

But anyway, we're on a beautiful island, let's have some fun. Bethenny's making breakfast, another nice gesture. So in walks Kelly with a "complaint pad." You’re supposed to write your complaints down and then throw them away. Huh? Alex is perplexed as I am. "I didn’t even do that in fourth grade," she says. Is this in lieu of airing your complaints in front of the person, as they've been doing? She also proposes a photo shoot with the ladies with her doing the shooting.

Photo shoot time, Kelly's nice gesture. Sonja poses in the grasses and trees and looks simply fantastic. Ramona frolics in the surf. Alex looked mean and weird. She claims the vibe from Kelly threw her off. They get better pictures when she walks in the surf.

Ha, in a short vignette Jill gets ordered off the ice. I guess she's practicing for her holiday on ice party but today she's mixing with professionals (Johnny Weir!) and the coaches won't stand for it. Get you amateur ass off the ice! Ha.

Jill and LuAnn dine and dish. LuAnn, as I do, wonders why in the hell Kelly went away with the witches of the East Side. They both told her not to go. They are so curious, and Jill says Kelly can’t put two words together sometime. But LuAnn calls her courageous to go into the lion's den. Jill proposes her going down to surprise Kelly and give her some support. LuAnn says "you crazy girl," but sees Jill has her mind made up. Jill says Bobby said she needs to make up to Bethenny. And Ramona. She says face to face has to be better than email has been for their relationship. LuAnn says she's on her own.

Bethenny is also preparing dinner for everyone, as a gift to Ramona. Kelly talks on speakerphone with her daughter and the ladies complain and tell her to leave the room. Sonja says she was killing the atmosphere. Kelly gets offended and stomps out. She returns saying that her kids come first and accuses them of being high maintenance. She thinks she's trying hard to accommodate these ladies but they just don’t understand her. They talk hair and everything’s cool.

Kelly complains and doesn’t sit across from Bethenny. Bethenny hears her and says you can do whatever you want. Kelly complains that it’s four against one. And it is. And it just gets worse as time goes on.

Kelly loves the salad but doesn’t like the crab cake. But even taste buds can be misconstrued, so Ramona gets Sonja to eat the crab so Bethenny won't think Kelly doesn't like her food.

Oh, and Kelly gets the only piece of meat with the string still attached. Coincidence? We shall see.

Kelly pretends to care that Bethenny worked hard creating dinner, then she begins to unravel. Ramona wonders if anyone's heard from Jill and Kelly raises her hand. She says Jill is well but worried about Bethenny. The others pooh-pooh this and roll their eyes. Then it becomes a madhouse of rude. Ramona compliments Bethenny then sits on her lap and Kelly wonders aloud if they’re gonna make out, with tongue! That pisses Ramona off. Then Kelly gets into it with Ramona and keeps repeating that Ramona made Bethenny cry. She also tells her for the first time to shut it.

Bethenny and Ramona leave the room and Ramona agrees that Kelly is just nuts. Kelly talks the "feelings are so 1979" thing again to Alex, and she calmly tells Kelly that she seems a little unstable sometimes. So Kelly scratches back, recalling "the message" performance and calling her makeup Kabuki. The ladies run out of the room cackling, leaving Sonja alone with Kelly.

Sonja tries to make sense of girlfriend but it’s over. She's also noticed that they tend to leave her with Kelly but that's OK with her, she'll be her support. See why I love her?

Meanwhile, in another room, Ramona, Alex and Bethenny high five as Bethenny yells that "Yes! Yes, you finally see the crazy."

Kelly’s now bawling at the table. Sonja says that something is going on with Kelly, something that's beyond that night. Kelly proposes to tell the truth and Bethenny spills the Jack Nicholson line "you can’t handle the truth," and Kelly yells "Al Sharpton, Al Sharpton." Then she accuses Bethenny of attacking her good friend Gwyneth Paltrow and some chick named Rachel. Then she runs out of the room, grabs some candy and returns to babble some more. She agrees with them that she's crazy. She sets Ramona off with her "her dad died, she's here, that’s creepy" conclusion. Ramona starts to tell her that she also went away after her mother died but Kelly cuts her off and tells her to shut it. Sonja says they have to stop cause they're sane, she’s a mess and now they’re just picking on her.

Bethenny screams at Kelly to go to bed. She pleads with Kelly to believe that she’s not after her, but Kelly says she’s been after her since day one. Bethenny continues to tell her that she doesn't want to fight and wants this all to stop. Kelly says people get into it with her because she doesn’t want to hear the chatter. O....K. Then end up toasting to good things for everyone. Their poor waiter.

Well, the Molotov cocktail has been assembled. Next week the flame, Jill, arrives bearing her shield, Bobby.

SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes on TV, America's favorite snack food.