Ru has a heart-to-heart lunch with each contestant. We learn Tyra's afraid of losing her son but not really why. Raven’s still trying to get over her parents' divorce that happened when he was 7. And that Juju used to answer to "faggot" before finding her voice.

In between these chats, stylist Verdi attemptS to outfit the ladies in 80s bitch couture. He thinks Raven has an upper hand since he’s older and has some knowledge of the whole Dynasty/Carrington oeuvre. Tyra and Juju are clueless. They all do some really awful over-acting in a short scene with Ru, ending with "What about me? What about me?"

Ru then slaps their faces and they recoil in true drag horror. Over and over and over. That shit had me, and the director, laughing out loud.

Oh god, Ru Paul's Drag U. is coming. Everybody’s coming back. Will I be there? I can't promise.


The dolls get ready to be video hos for Ru. Tyra complains and moans as she dresses, feeling low since she doesn't think she’ll top anything else she’s worn before.

There's dancing and then more slaps and catfighting until Tyra snatches Raven’s wig off -- twice. Things get serious when it looks like Juju gets a heel in her eye, and suddenly Tyra is the only one left still in a wig. She says she made sure it would stay on cause fighting, for her, ain't no joke. Juju, swollen eye and all, keeps going. They get ready for the 80s-style part of the video.

Juju thinks one thing the 80s were about was fat asses. Okay. They lip sync in front of a makeup mirror and Raven, hands down, has the best look.

Last walk into the work room; last runway elimination and everybody’s nervous but Juju. She’s ready.

Ru takes the runway looking like a Christmas package covered in sparkly green cellophane bows. Just family tonite, no guest judges. Juju's makeup looks a bit weird and Raven’s channeling Liza in Cabaret. Ru says Tyra is yummy in a green bathing suit with a matching sarong lined in pink. The judges think she's very Beverly Hills Polo Lounge.

Who, who, who will it be? We watch highlights of the final challenges.

Santino hates Juju’s runway dress but Meryl loves her overacting. Tyra mesmerizes Ru during the catfighting and Santino loves her stunning runway look. Ru asks if Tyra if she'll let her son watch and she says they’ll watch it together; he'll find out what his father does.

Raven says the hardest part of the acting challenge was looking at Ru's face. Say what?? That's no way to win votes. Ru laughs and says she's heard that before and Raven tries to clean it up. Santino says she got lost during the catfighting but her 80s look was right on. Yes it was.

Santino says he loves people who are the shit and know it, and he's talking about both Raven and Tyra.
,br>Uh-oh, looks like Juju might be third and it's between Tyra and Raven.

I was right, a disappointed Juju sashays away. Tyra and Raven have to lip sync to Don’t Be Jealous Of My Boogie.

Tyra takes off twirling. They play to each other for a bit, Tyra does some backward bending stuff, then leaves the stage and performs right in front of the judges.

Raven picks up her discarded sarong and sashays back and forth staying cool. Both fall to the floor at the end, Tyra in a split and Raven on her back. "That was amaaaaaaazing," coos Ru.

And the winner is... Tyra Sanchez. And I think the little bitch deserves it. Although sometimes lazy, selfish, off-key and bitchy for no good reason she was always dead on fabulous when she hit the runway.

The, suddenly, she hits the floor and starts hyperventilating and takes off her wig. Raven comes over immediately to see what’s wrong. The judges look concerned but none make a move out of their seats as Ru yells encouragement.

Tyra says she thinks she had an out of body experience and forgot to breathe. She gets herself together as Raven hears, "OK, it's over."

She’s leaving in second place but you’d better believe she’s on to bigger, funkier things.

Ru crowns Tyra and she takes her rightful place as America’s Next Drag Superstar!

SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes on TV, America's favorite snack food.