Reaction To Anna Paquin's Announcement Reveals Society's Discomfort With Bisexuality
TEAM PAQUIN
Reaction To Anna Paquin's Announcement Reveals Society's Discomfort With Bisexuality
THE GOAL OF CYNDI LAUPER'S Give a Damn foundation is to unite people of all sexual orientations against the violence and civil oppression that plague the GLBT community. It certainly succeeded this week in attracting attention, though maybe not entirely to its cause.
A new PSA begins with Lauper rockin’ some red lipstick and standing before a white wall and making a simple statement: "I'm straight." Next up is Clay Aiken: "I'm gay." (Yeah, we know, Clay.) Then Anna Paquin: "I'm bisexual."
Thank God the impossible-to-ignore Wanda Sykes was next, with her mouthy: "And I give a damn about equality!" If not, the PSA may have just gone to shit.
No one, after all, is talking about the message of the campaign. They’re talking about Paquin.
Every clip I watched of commentary of the PSA did a cheesy "rewind" sequence back to the two-second blurb of her declaration, usually followed by a clearly-scripted “Oh em gee! Did she REALLY say that?” squealed by the commentator.
Some of the rhetoric used to discuss Paquin's revelation is troubling. E! News’ Youtube channel posted its video on the topic with the title "Anna Paquin Admits She's Bisexual." That shit gets under my skin. "Revealing" she is bisexual is very different than "admitting" to it.
When I had my first sexual experience with another woman and became comfortable identifying as bisexual, I was excited to say it. It felt like a good category to fall into. To me, being bisexual means being open-armed and willing to sexual and/or romantic with anyone with whom you feel a connection.
I never believe people who say they are completely straight or completely gay. That just seems impossible.
Once I settled into the bisexual niche, I began to feel like bisexuality was somehow wrong, shameful, or stupid. Evidently, a lotta the gays and lesbos don't fancy my kind. My ex's uppity lesbian friends refused to call me bi, suggesting that somehow the term "half-gay" suited me better. They expected me to be complimented. My mom's friend told me one time that being bisexual was "selfish," that I was "having my cake and eating it too."
I applaud Anna for revealing her unpopular sexuality, especially considering she recently announced her engagement to True Blood co-star Stephen Moyer. Because I know that when I said I enjoyed a healthy romp with my fellow ladies, my eligibility for wifehood was slurped down the drain. Haters.
Bi-broads unite!
What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at AvoineSauvage@CrabbyGolightly.com
Tags: Sex
Comments
I have no problem accepting bisexuality. But, what I do have a hard time understanding are bisexuals who cannot commit to one relationship. I understand they have needs, but what about the needs of their mates who want/expect a comitted relationship? Is it possibly for a person to be attracted to both genders, but have a committed relationship with only one? Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, but I compare bisexuality to people like me who are attracted to blondes and brunettes... can I marry a brunette and have an affair with a blonde? Or have a 3-way relationship? I think most people would agree that would not be acceptable for sustaining a healthy relationship. Why then do some bisexuals think it's okay for them to have a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time? As you might have already guessed, my experiences with bisexuality haven't exactly been positive.
And contrary to the author's comment... I am proud to be exclusively gay. I believe that everyone falls somewhere on the straight/gay scale, but I also believe that most people strive for a connection with that ONE special person. Maybe I'm a little jaded, but the bisexuals I know of are a little "greedy" (for lack of a better word). They use the excuse of bisexuality to avoid commiting to a monogamous relationship.
Maybe some of you out there can convince me otherwise. Are there bisexual people who truly can commit to ONE person???
Posted by: Jaded Homo | April 4, 2010 08:26 AM
Also I just noticed your last line. Wifehood is out of the question for bisexuals?
Excuse me?
I'm a happily married woman with five children and a bisexual. The two are not mutually exclusive, nor does my partner harbor any illusions about my sexuality and what that means to our relationship.
Posted by: Athena June | April 4, 2010 01:38 AM
"I never believe people who say they are completely straight or completely gay. That just seems impossible."
You realize that by saying that, you're doing exactly what people do to bisexuals? As a bisexual woman, I find comments disturbing that the only reason I am attracted to women is for attention or that men who say they are bisexual are really gay and in denial.
By discounting ANY sexuality, you are doing us all a disservice and I hope you realize that your comment is really narrow-minded and unnecessary.
Posted by: Athena June | April 4, 2010 01:36 AM