The prognosis for a subarachnoid hemorrhage depends on the severity of the initial bleed, according to the Wall Street Journal. About 50 percent of people die within six months of suffering it.

Further complicating Michaels' condition is hyponatremia, or an abnormally low sodium level in your blood.

Whether or not he'll fully recover is up for debate, according to that regret factory you know as Viacom's VH1. Since they're apparently trying to class up their act, they posted a nice little update to their site on Monday morning:

According to People, Michaels suffered a "thunderclap headache" sometime on Thursday, a headache that Michaels himself described to a close associate before entering the emergency room as "like [getting] hit in the head with a baseball bat over and over again."

People's report also contradicts TMZ's claims that he is "awake, in good spirits and talking"; instead, they say he "still has the headache and is heavily sedated."

Now that Bret is trying to line up a serious gig for the future with Donald Trump, the combover king couldn't resist putting his own miserly two cents in, either. He told TMZ that Bret, who is competing on Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice, is in "big, big trouble," but remains confident that Bret is an "amazing competitor and ultimately that is the thing that could save his life."

Sounds like someone just scored that Miss America judging gig…and that the pageant biz just got a whole lot creepier.

Rock on, Bret, and get well soon.

Miz J, who works in advertising, is a regular contributor and resident expert on all things Mad Men.