CLOAKED OR DAGGERED

Iranian Cleric: Earthquakes Are Modern Women's Fault

IRANIAN CLERIC HOJATOLESLAM KAZEM SEDIGHI MUST NOT BE GETTING ENOUGH somethin' somethin' or else he experiences some of the earth's most powerful orgasms.

That hypothesis comes from hearing that Sedighi blames "immodestly" dressed women with increasing the likelihood of earthquakes in Iran.

"Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Sedighi reportedly said.

The cleric's words come two weeks after President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad predicted a quake will soon strike Tehran and suggested that 5 million of its 12 million residents should move. And, preferably, those reformists who think he stole last summer's election. (Kidding, he didn't actually say that, he just wished it.)

Iranian women are required to wear black robes but many of the country's young women skirt the law by wearing colorful scarves and showing their hair.

Maybe we should have a little sympathy for Sedighi: a man who thinks women are responsible for earthquakes must lead a life of fear.