The Countess is hosting a "Fashion Night Out with Ungaro." As the Seabreezes flow, Jill asks Alex for the dish from Ramona’s Labor Day party. Alex is trying to stay neutral through all this bullshit and I admire her for that. Of course, talk turns to Kelly’s photo shoot and Jill and LuAnn say they think it’s just the greatest thing. Right. So supportive on the outside, so jealous and judgmental on the inside.

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Ramona says she gets made fun of 'cause her breasts are off-center so she needs them done again.

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The Jill-Bethany feud boils down to this: Jill thinks she introduced Bethany to life in New York, that she took the poor child under her wing and coached her well so she could fly. And off she flew. But since she isn't a homing pigeon she didn’t come right back. And Jill couldn’t wait. Now she feels abused and has gone to a psychic who tells her exactly what she wants to hear -- that Bethany is a two-faced bitch who fucked her over.

Bethany thinks she was hanging with her friend, then she eventually met more people, got more branding opportunities and more importantly, a guy, and she’s just living her life the best she can. She didn’t think their friendship would suffer because she didn’t have as much time to spend with Jill as she used to. So who's the crazy one? I think we know.

It's tense between Jill and Ramona when they meet, for the first time since the dueling Labor Day parties, at a tennis event. Mario’s not taking Jill’s shit over his "Countless" remark. He refuses to feel sorry for LuAnn just because she lost her husband who seemed to never be around anyway.

We're at the Jill Stuart fashion show which both Jill and Bethany are attending. Jill’s with LuAnn, of course, since Countless LuAnn is now the underdog. After awkward air kisses they take their seats. Bethany feels Jill’s ire even though Kelly is sitting between them and Jill feels like she’s going to have a panic attack. I know the feeling.

Bethany seems totally taken aback when she finally hears for herself the "get a hobby" remark Jill's been spreading all around town. It's only been three months since they’ve chatted and Bethany really can’t believe this... thing has gotten so big and dirty. I’ve gone an entire year without speaking to some of my friends, just an email or quick call here or there and we still manage to be friends. Get a hobby was right.

They make a scene after the show which has to be broken up by Kelly and LuAnn. Bethany’s appalled that Jill let LuAnn listen to her phone message. That is real high school ladies. Bethany’s over both of them. She’s got a boyfriend, booze and books. I hear ya, babe.

Unfortunately, she runs into LuAnn at the Pamela Rowling show and they get into it once again. She tells LuAnn she's a snake and that Jill’s been talking about how LuAnn’s run around on her husband for the last year. No holds barred, baby. I finally feel sorry for Kelly since she gets to then sit between them. Then she moves so that LuAnn and Bethany have to sit next to each other you can feel them both seething through the television screen.

Ramona takes Avery to Fashion Week where they run into Kelly. She says Ramona hurt her feelings by not inviting her to the Labor Day party when she could really care less. Ramona blames it on Bethany being invited and their noted irritation with each other. Then Ramona busts her balls for not inviting her to a party she’s going to with Jill after the show. So Kelly invites her and Ramona promptly puts Avery in a cab and flies off to party with the horrible Perez Hilton. After they arrive Kelly fills the ladies in on the fight between LuAnn and Bethany. Of course Jill takes LuAnn, the underdog’s, side.

In the Robert Verdi lounge, Bethany talks to Alex about the friendship feud and it turns out Alex is not feeling Jill these days either for questioning her parenting. Kelly arrives at the event to support Bethany but then gives her a hard time when she asks her to sample a Skinny Girl Margarita. They both tell us they’re going to try to be friends but neither trusts the other. So how’s that gonna work?

Bethany and Ramona meet up for a drink and dish about Jill and LuAnn. Bethany’s upset about the Jill situation but LuAnn can go suck it.

Jill’s hosting the Saks thing, a fabulous dinner and fashion show for her girlfriends. Lolling in Jill’s apartment, LuAnn tells Jill’s mom that her divorce was finalized that day. What do you say to that? Mom gives her a pep talk that she seems to appreciate.

Ramona, bless her crazy heart, is surprised about the party because she heard Jill was blackballed from Saks for returning too many clothes. Scandalous! The gang's all there except for Bethany. Of course, the only husband, the only man in attendance, is Simon who just loves to shop for gorgeous clothes and is not ashamed to be the only guy around.

Alex confronts Jill about the parenting crack and Jill tells her she's inappropriate for starting shit at her party. Alex gets teary-eyed for some reason and Jill starts apologizing. LuAnn owns up to making the initial crack about the kids but they're both bugging Alex. Ramona gets drunk and gets on Kelly cause she has to leave or “slink out” as she says. LuAnn tells Ramona about the divorce finalization and Ramona grabs her hand, says a prayer, and gives rotten advice. Ramona innocently asks Kelly if she’s getting her breasts redone again. LuAnn is appalled at the classlessness. Ramona says she gets made fun of 'cause her breasts are off-center so she needs them done again. Kelly’s pissed and LuAnn urges her to ignore her, it’s the Pinot talking. Kelly leaves and Crazy Eyes still doesn't know what the fuss was about. Kelly's posing nude for Playboy with off-center breasts and nobody seems to care but Ramona!

SexyChattyCatty is a regular contributor at CrabbyGolightly.com where she writes on TV, America's favorite snack food.