Navigating The Nuances Of Valentine Gift Giving
V DAY
Navigating The Nuances Of Valentine's Gift Giving
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S "MADE UP BY THE GREETING CARD INDUSTRY." I love Valentine's Day and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I love love, man.
Even when I'm single, I hand out cards and candy to people. When I'm in a relationship, I go ape-shit and create elaborate packages full of gifts. I don't know what it is about Valentine's Day; it's just SO good.
I think it's fair to say that no one wants shitty chocolates in a heart-shaped box that you snagged at CVS. But what gift is appropriate -- not too much and not too little -- depends on the status of your relationship.
What if you're somewhere in between single and taken?
What if you just have an itty-bitty crush on someone at work?
What if you and the object of your affection are still in the "tiptoe" stage of dating?
What if you're not really friends, not really a couple, but definitely gettin' real freaky?
What if you're friends providing each other with a steady supply of benefits (fuck-buddies, if you will)? What if you're in a new, fresh relationship, comfy but not totally confident? And how do you keep the same holiday interesting year after year with the same person?
Chances are a simply blow jay isn’t going to suffice when you're married. If you're only FWB, a 5-course gourmet meal is probably crossing the line.
And at what point does buying sexy lingerie stop counting as a gift to your partner and start counting only as a personal indulgence?
And when sending sexy photos, which is most appropriate to your situation: shoddy cell phone shots, printed images that have been edited in iPhoto (converting to B&W works wonders, trust me), or professionally taken erotic photographs?
So I made a chart. It very well may have to be altered to accommodate your personal situation, but I think I set some pretty righteous guidelines.
Let me know: what did you get your special friend for Valentine’s Day this year?
A Guide To Divining The Right Valentine's Present
What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at AvoineSauvage@CrabbyGolightly.com
Tags: Sex
