Tiger Woods Pays A Penalty For Avoiding The "Sex" Tax
HOUND DOG
Tiger Woods Pays A Penalty For Avoiding The "Sex Tax"
SO TIGER'S A DOG. STOP THE PRESSES.
He's a man, right? And a wealthy one.
Here's the voicemail message one of Tiger's "transgressions" alleges he left on her voicemail:
"Hey, it's, uh, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Um, can you please, uh, take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone. And, uh, may be calling you. If you can, please take your name off that and, um, and what do you call it, just have it as a number on the voice mail, just have it as your telephone number. That's it, OK. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. All right. Bye.''
Sloppy. Very sloppy.
The biggest shock here isn't that Tiger is a slut. A man has needs. But that he hasn't learned a thing from Michael Jordan. Or from Kobe Bryant.
When a wealthy athlete steps out, he's got to pay the "sex tax."
Common knowledge. What makes these highest-level athletes think they are sex tax-exempt?
Did Tiger not watch from the sidelines, like the rest of us, and say, "Michael, why didn't you just pay her off?"… "Kobe, cut her a check -- no wait, money orders are less traceable."
Sure, it gets pricey. But that's what Gatorade is for.
And then when your wife finds out… that's what Nike is for.
Bob Bounce is the pen name of a Northwestern University student slowly working on his masters. He is married to Sue Donym and together they raise two Chia Pets whom they plan to let slowly die from neglect.
Tags: Buzz , Tiger Woods
Comments
And as they say in Chicago, you've got to pay to play. Perhaps Tiger hasn't spent enough time in these parts. MJ should have filled him in on the rules.
Posted by: EB | December 3, 2009 09:26 PM
Hell, yeah! Sex tax is like income tax. The more you earn, the more you pay.
Posted by: David | December 3, 2009 08:39 PM