Levi Johnston Wins The Gay & Female Vote
SECRETARY OF 'KEEPIN IT HOTT FOR DA LADIEZ'
Levi Johnston Wins The Gay & Female Vote
TONGUES WERE HANGING OUT ALL OVER THE WEB AS PLAYGIRL TEASED A PEEK AT LEVI JOHNSTON IN THE RAW.
As Sarah Palin began her publicity tour for Going Rogue, Levi took a page from her book and began his own outsider campaign as "player."
The photo preview of Johnson seemed deliberately timed to upstage Palin's opening salvo of her book tour. But while reviews of Palin talking to Oprah were tepid, Levi was knocking the socks off girls (including me) and gays across the web.
"I'd certainly let him take me behind the middle school and get me pregnant,'' gushed pssshwhatever on Gawker. "Yowza.'
And when SleeplessNights recommended Levi for president, Wrapitup countered, "Er, I wouldn't go that far. But Secretary of Keepin It Hott For Da Ladiez, mos def."
"Positively nibble-worthy,'' cooed Snugbug.
"…Luxurious pit locks, too. So pretty and so vacant, the perfect vessel for embarrassing grown-woman fantasies."
Over at GaySocialites, Charles Winters recapped Levi's visit to CBS Early Show. "He isn't the most well-spoken fella, but he's country. I, for one, can't wait to see Levi in the buff. "…Prrrrrrrrr."
During the CBS interview, Johnson reveals that all the ladies go crazy when he visits his momma in jail. (She's doing time for selling prescription drugs).
"It's just crazy 'cause it's a big women's jail and they see me on TV and I go in there and they go nuts. They hold up cougar signs and everything else. It's hilarious."
Though reports initially were that Levi would bare it all for Playgirl, the news broke that he'd keep his peen private, a revelation that wasn't always welcome.
"How dare you toy with our emotions like this!,'' wailed Perez Hilton. "Tragic. Then we better see a whole lotta ass to make up for it!"
Back over at Gawker, some were seeing Levi's impact on society writ large.
"Based on the swooning going on here, I think this photo shoot will be a net gain for the country,'' wrote Steverino Begins at Gawker. "Maybe Levi will be like the Betty Grable of our times: a pretty ass to distract our war/recession-weary minds."
As a patriot, Levi, I want to thank you.
