Of course it has its social and biological purposes, as stated above, but the primary motivators for sex -- for me, at least -- are corporeal pleasure and emotional satisfaction. I enjoy discovering new turn-ons and pushing limits. I not only know my body intimately, but aspire to constantly learn about it by putting it to the test. How flexible can I be? (Thanks, yoga.) How much can I withstand? (Should I let my dinner digest before trying that?) When, where, and how can I get my sexy on? (Caution: be mindful on Highway 30 through rural Indiana.)

The path to enlightenment is discovered through candidness. How are we, as a society, expected to be comfortable with ourselves -- romantically, sensually, and sexually -- without a means of orgiastic open dialogue? I hope to create just that with this column: a forum. I want to explore the gorgeous and nonsensical world of sex from all genders and all positions (pun intended). I want to answer your questions, because Lord knows we all have them. I want to write about things that are both current and timeless. I want to cut through the opacity; mystery is so passé.

I chose to use a pseudonym --Avoine Sauvage -- to protect the innocent, although I do not intend to get all Carrie Bradshaw on reader's hypothetical asses (though I do write to you from my urban triplex while fingering a girly cigarette).

I vow to not divulge details about political candidates requesting "golden showers" , nor will I go into intimate detail about the genital composition of my partner(s).

You can, however expect this: the semi-poetic ramblings of a pleasure machine -- a giver, a receiver, a thinker, a lover -- but most of all, an average young woman who is sowin' her wild oats.

Get cozy, Crabby, we're going to get to know each other really well.

What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at Avoine@CrabbyGolightly.com