We walk into the drugstore and are presented with ample options for scouring our contaminated vaginas. We can't walk past a "fish taco" stand without someone emitting a menacing snicker. Have I made my point? It's no wonder we have hang-ups! We are conditioned to feel disgusting. Also, many women are grossed out by the thought of our PJC (pussy juice cocktail. Thanks, 40-Year-Old Virgin!). We seem to forget that men's pesky pre-cum is not entirely dissimilar to the PJC (which, incidentally, I find to taste kind of like apricot!).

Other reasons this could be happening: She could be on her period. Which, honestly, is no biggie if she has a tampon in. But she could be freaked out by it and too embarrassed to tell you. Ain't no thang.

She could have not taken care of the pube sitch. If that's something that's important to her.

She may not feel like reciprocating, and has a guilty conscience about it. She may think you're a creep.

So here is your approach, friend: make her feel confident, beautiful, and secure. When it comes to eating pussy, we're not all Lil’ Kim. We're a little more apprehensive about how many licks it takes to get to the center of the… oh…ohhh!

Be patient and understanding. Think about how you'd feel after a lifetime of being told your rod is raunchy. You'd be pretty hesitant to thrust it into someone's face, too.

Also, buying her one or two drinks can't hurt. Although more than that is NOT good. You could have issues with her passing out during the act, or issues with consent after the fact. Which would defeat the purpose entirely.

General tips:

On a first date, unless some kind of verbal play has been presented to you, don't say "I wanna taste you." I don't know if it's just me, but that shit sounds like Hannibal Lector.

Make sure you're doing it right. There are so many ways to go down on girls…Flat tongue, pointed tongue, tongue in the vadge (which I, personally, have never understood), with vibes, without vibes, without fingers, with fingers, with finger(s) in the butt, up and down, side to side, in a circular motion.

The only way to know what each person likes is to ASK. Don't be shy.

You're a good man. You'll find a delicious, nutritious, willing, and able lady-friend. When you are turned down in the hunt, don't take it personally. Just be honest and genuine, that's what’s really sexy. And keep your chin up. (But not TOO much…remember, stubbly facial hair can hurt the vadge.)

With love, Avoine Sauvage.

What's your pleasure? Got a problem? Write to Avoine at AvoineSauvage@CrabbyGolightly.com