SCARY STUFF

10 Essential Tips For Surviving Halloween Movie Night

TOO AFRAID TO VENTURE OUT ON HALLOWEEN? Stay in for scary fun: host a Halloween TV night.
SyFy is running a Ghost Hunters marathon from 9am to 3am.
Or watch old school horror movies from 1930s to the 1970s on Turner Classic Movies. This year's lineup includes Cat People at 5:30pm (Eastern), Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde at 8:30pm and The Body Snatcher at 11:15pm.
AMC is my go-to channel during the Halloween season, whose offerings range from modern classic to cult. This year's lineup includes:
☠ Gene Wilder's Young Frankenstein at 7:30am;
☠ John Carpenter's Halloween at noon (followed by Halloween 4 and Halloween 5!);
and ☠ George Romero's Night Of The Living Dead at 6 and 8:15pm.
For family movies, watch ABC Family, which wraps up its 13 Days of Halloween with Hocus Pocus Wednesday (Oct. 28th), Scooby Doo movies Thursday and Friday, and Batman Returns on Halloween.
And to get you in the spirit, here's my 10 essential lessons for surviving horror movies.
10: Root for the good person. The bitch, the jerk, and everyone alike won't make it to the end.
9: Never forget that zombies must be killed by destroying the brain; vampires are killed by decapitation, sunlight or a stake in the heart; werewolves are done in by silver bullets or killing their human self. Ghosts should be handled by priests or paranormal experts. Monsters are tricky: some may have their own special way to be killed but the generally shooting them, setting them on fire, even stabbing them until they are a pile of mush should do the trick. Burn the remains.
8: It doesn't matter if you're in high school, college or if you're 50 years old. If you bully someone to the point of public humiliation, they'll snap and get revenge on you.
7: Don't touch foreign objects, don't taunt ghosts, don't read anything from an old book out loud. If you do any of these, I guarantee you it will end badly.
6: If something out of the ordinary is after you, a monster, vampire, even a clown, if you're going to call the cops, tell them it's a fire or something normal. The police won't rush out to your frantic call about zombies trying to break in your house. You'll get a quicker response telling them you're being burgled.
5: Never drop your weapon. I can't count the number of times I've seen a horror movie when a character thinks they killed the killer/monster, drop their weapons and enjoy a sigh of relief. Too bad just moments after the killer/monster pops up again and the character is forced to run instead of re-using the weapon again.
4: When confronted by the killer, don't run and hide, kick some ass! (But only if it's not carrying a gun or chainsaw.) If the killer is a male you know the number one spot to go for. Kick, punch, go for the win! If the killer has you from behind, try head butting, sticking your fingers in his eyes, anything to get them down long enough to steal their weapon and take them out!
3: Never vacation in the woods or a secluded area: It's an open invitation to psychos and cannibal hillbillies. But, if you must spend time in a cabin, be prepared. Visit the place a day or two ahead in the daylight. See if your cell phone works, find out how far the nearest police station is and how long it would take you to walk or run there. Check the news for missing person reports in that area. If there's a lot, reschedule your stay. Check the roads to see if you car can get through without getting stuck in any mud. Stock up on flash lights, flares and spare tires. Inform family members and friends where you are, how long you'll be there and check in with them throughout your trip.
2: Any booze consumed must not be followed by driving. It doesn't matter if you've had a sip. In the world of horror movies, you will hit someone. You'll either have to cover up your crime so you won't get caught will booze on your breath. Or you'll fess up but know an angry family member will throw on a mask and hunt you down.
1: If you have sex on Halloween, make sure the person you are having sex with is your partner or someone you know well. Sex with a stranger can lead to waking up in a tub with your kidneys gone. If you have sex with your BFF's significant other, anticipate a murderous rage. Their actions will be on par with the angry people on Cheaters who throw axes instead of fists.
Happy Halloween! And don't forget the candy.
Nicki R. is a Southern girl living in the big city of Chicago. She loves quiet evenings a home watching horror films with her dogs Jezebelle and Zombie. Check out her blog, Hey, Look Behind You!






Comments
Another movie that is coming out that offers a clean alternative is ‘’Paranormal.’’ Below is some additional information about this new thriller!!
Paranormal, the latest supernatural thriller from Cross Shadow Productions, (the
creators of the Dove.org approved, best-selling BMG releases: Pray and Pray 2:
The Woods) will be available in stores nationwide January 26th 2010. The 2009 Mrs. America is starring in it.
See more information and trailers at:
www.ParanormalTheMovie.com
Following the success of family-friendly suspense/thriller The Exorcism of Emily
Rose (Sony Pictures), comes a riveting supernatural thriller in the vein of the hit
SyFy television series, Ghost Hunters and Frank Peretti's House (Roadside
Attractions / Lionsgate).
Paranormal follows best-selling, self-made novelist Greg Evans struggling through the worst case of writer's block in his award-winning career. In a desperate search for
inspiration, Greg quickly finds himself immersed in a world he is not prepared to face.
Turning to a group of paranormal investigators, Greg and the ghost hunting team search for proof and answers, yet are unaware they are about to have an experience of a
lifetime! None will leave the way they came. Paranormal will peel back the supernatural curtain to reveal how The TRUTH will EXPOSE the darkness!
Posted by: JenniferWishum@gmail.com | November 3, 2009 12:02 PM
Aaron- I do agree that it's best to be in a well lit room. If the power is out and you need to hide, approach each room with caution. Also, if there is an invasion (zombies, aliens, whatnot) it's safer to keep all light off in your safe haven so you don't attract attention.
Posted by: Nicki | October 27, 2009 06:38 PM
Also, be suspicious of any saws and drills lying conspicuously about the house. A definite warning sign.
Posted by: Elizabeth | October 27, 2009 04:34 PM
I'd like to add to rule #1: please be in a well lit room. Creepers love to live in the shadows... I must also emphasize the importance of a room. A tent, a car, and "the bushes" don't count as a room.
Posted by: aaron | October 27, 2009 02:09 PM