EVOKING 'BRADY BUNCH' MEMORIES

The Case For 'Content' And Wood-Paneled Cars

By Crabby Golightly

OH, THEY THINK THEY'RE CLEVER OVER AT MSN.

The web is all about 'content,' techies be damned. So editorial types spend hours devising stories to get you to visit their sites. Mix in some facts, a dash of wit, maybe some whimsy -- and viola! -- you've got yourself a feature.

Such is surely the way MSN's list of 10 Worst Automotive Fads was compiled. (Note to readers: don't take 'worst' too seriously! The list was compiled by snarks sitting around desks making jokes!)

We at CrabbyGolightly concur that talking cars and spinning rims are ridiculous, but we take exception to the dissing of fuzzy dice and faux woodsided cars!

Why, take away these two iconic images and our youthful memories would be so much more blah. Not everybody can have Martha's understated perfection!

The fuzzy dice are a wink to kitsch. And no one really thinks they're groovy; everyone's in on the joke.

But dissing wood-paneled cars cuts deep. I mean, nothing signaled "family man" about Mike Brady more than his green-and-wood-paneled wagon. And nothing says "nostalgia" to Gen X than The Brady Bunch.

Even now, just thinking of driving next to Mike Brady in one of those big brawny things gets me all woozy. But I'm a retro geek, what can I say?

I'd even go so far as to challenge Motor City to bring back faux paneling!

I can find a handful of like-minded folks on YouTube, where you can take a slow ride in a 1972 Ford LTD Country Squire faux-paneled station wagon, not exactly the Brady car, but close enough for nostalgia's purpose.

There are a few squares left like me and YouTube commenter CDTbossy who wrote, "I love American station wagons, especially those with wood like side panels." Ditto Gajda1984 who said, "This car was made during a time when cars actually were CARS! Not the pussy shit you see today."

Detroit, seek your salvation!

As for MSNers, we'll forgive them. For we ourselves have sinned in the name of 'content.'