8. Debbie Rowe -- Running out of money, the biological mother to Jackson's two oldest children knew she still had one ace left: Although she had sold her two children to Michael in the couple's 1999 divorce agreement, legally she maintains parental rights. Though cut out of Michael's will, Rowe figures she can leverage her legal rights into more money from Jackson's income in perpetuity.

7. Grace Rwaramba -- The former nanny to MJ's three children and a constant in his life for the last two decades, Grace was still angry that Michael fired her last December and she missed the children. Apparently obsessed by MJ at an early age, she sought revenge against Michael for killing the dream of her "own generation of Jackson 5."

6. Michael "Blanket" Jackson -- Still brooding about being dangled over a balcony window at the tender age of nine months, Jackson's youngest child exacted revenge for the nickname that still haunts him to this day.

5. Dr. Conrad Murray -- The Las Vegas physician, known to be the last person to see Michael alive, was tired of Michael's insatiable demands for "more, more more!" of the drug Diprivan, a powerful sedative used during surgery. Wanted out of the job but couldn't say no to a 'celebrity.'

4. Paul McCartney -- Because no one was more envious of Michael's "music publishing assets" than the former Beatle because, after all, the most valuable of them once belonged to him.

3. Harvey Levin -- Because the editor of TMZ, an "evil genius" like Michael in his own right, knew that knowing the precise time that Michael Jackson expired would make him even more rich and famous.


2. Bubbles The Chimp -- Once privy to the inner sanctum known as Michael Jackson's bedroom, who ate and slept and even did the Moonwalk with the King of Pop, Bubbles the chimpanzee was returned to imprisonment when he became too aggressive. The beast never forgave MJ for forsaking him, and for having to forfeit his high-flying lifestyle.

And the No. 1 suspect in the murder of Michael Jackson is?

You, we, us! The frenzied public routinely and voraciously feeding on celebrity, morbidity, shock and misfortune!

Because as the bulk of us are born into lives of quiet desperation, it's nice to know there are people who live -- and die -- with more bang and bucks!!

If this were another game, I'd say we all should now promptly "Go To Jail!" But there isn't a jail big enough to hold us all. And besides, doesn't TV really do the job?