THE CONTEST

The Most Anticipated Contest At The Oscars? The Jennifer -- Angelina Showdown

By Crabby Golightly

AMERE 48 HOURS BEFORE THE 81ST OSCARS HIT THE AIRWAVES, WE CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE MACHINATIONS GOING ON PROBABLY MERE MILES APART IN THE BOUDOIRS OF SUPERSTARS JENNIFER ANISTON AND ANGELINA JOLIE.

Aniston is purportedly preparing to come face-to-face with husband-stealer Jolie at a Beverly Hills Oscar eve party tonight with boy toy John Mayer in tow.

If past performance is any indication, odds are that one of the women will be a no-show.

But it will be harder for the enemies to avoid the inevitable stares at Sunday's Academy Awards, where Jennifer is scheduled to present an award, while Angelina is the long-shot to win best actress for her role in Changeling.

We predict that Angelina will wear her usual monochromatic gown, all the better to show off her pouty painted lips. Jen will wear something slightly less glamorous, more modern, and in a brighter color.

Jen's beau Mayer told the website PopSugar: "It's my first Oscars. And it's my first being an Oscar boyfriend."

Sunday night's performance will be the greatest challenge of each woman's career.

Jen has to look blissfully unrattled by the appearance of nemesis Angelina and Brad Pitt, the fading golden boy with whom she first shared the title as Hollywood's reigning couple.

For her part, Angelina might rethink any pre-set Botox appointments as she will have to convince that she actually feels joy for the winner of the Best Actress Award.

This, to counter reports that she gave the the "stink eye to Anne Hathaway as she accepted the Best Actress title at the Critics' Choice Awards. (Oddsmakers are picking Kate Winslet as Sunday night's winner.)

And even if, as expected, both Ang and Brad leave sans statues, Brad can once again put his hand up Ang's dress to make sure everyone knows that they're each going home with the real prize. Did anyone else get a clue this week that the two were feeling desperate when they took the kids out -- (Ang with the girls in New York, Brad with the boys in Vegas) to remind the papparazzi or just themselves of their paramount ranking?

It must be absolutely nervewracking for them! Unless, of course, Ang's a no-show. And really, wouldn't that make her all the more mysterious and desirable?