WAX MUSIC

Apply Salve Before Sampling YouTube's 'Chapstick' Girl

By Sophia Ulmer

I'M SITTING AT MY PARENT'S HOUSE WHEN I CHECK MY FACEBOOK. I have a wall post from my roommate, Andy. "This makes me SO uncomfortable," it reads. Below it is a hyperlink to YouTube. I click on the blue link and my world is changed forever.

I meet a pimply-faced, rotund teenage girl. Her bulbous frame, clad in a red T-shirt, fills the computer screen. Her face rests gently on her left hand, and she emits a Napoleon Dynamite-esque sigh. She rubs her lips, and declares that they hurt.

"Where's the chapstick?" she asks herself. And then, precisely 11 seconds into the video, it dawns on her -- it's song time. For the next 90 seconds I'm entranced by high-pitched beat boxing punctuated by "Where's the chapstick?!," and then finally "I found the chapstick!!" in a goofy-as-shit voice.

Read the full story about Chapstick Girl here.
Sophia Ulmer, a creative writing major at Columbia College in Chicago, writes about YouTube for CrabbyGolightly. She enjoys drinking copious amounts of wine, riding her vintage bike, and snuggling with her kitty-cat named Gretta. You can check out her cooking blog at feckinfranchtoast.blogspot.com