KEEPING TABS

Tabloid Trash Talk

Tell-All Threatens Brangelina, Brit Buys Into New 'Hood, and Johnny Depp's Fiance Trades Up

OH OH OH OH OHHH OOOOBAMA! Who needs Hollywood when there’s a new President to cover? We do! Let’s go to the tabloids!

In Touch Weekly

On the cover, a bland looking Brangelina might be breaking up over a tell-all book. Also, this just in: Michelle Obama is proud of her husband.

Inside, Angie’s former bodyguard is planning to publish an exposé on all of her evil deeds. The details are vague but there’s some stuff we all already knew too: Brad lied about not hooking up until after his divorce from Jen Anniston. Angie likes sex toys and may still like girls! And, you know, other boys. If it actually makes it to publication I’ll pick up a copy to see if any of it is actually salacious. But right now it sounds like regurgitated tabloid fodder.

OMG! Cam and Drew have totally broken up as besties! It’s the age old tale of one dumb girl letting her boyfriend get in the way of a friendship. OK, in this case it’s two dumb girls.

Britney Spears bought her dream home out in Calabasas, Ca. It’s huge and 20 minutes away from where K-Fed is reportedly shacking up with his new lady. Let’s hope she puts a fence around that pool.

Read more Tabloid Trash Talk here.

Vegas is a gambler who always loses money on craps. She spends her time in Chicago with her husband, two cats and various artistic endeavors which are beginning to take up way too much space in her house and hard drive. She blogs at jensaysanything.blogspot.com.