SPACE LITTER

Sky Mall: The Fix For Strapped-In Shop-A-Holics

By Miz J

ALL ACROSS AMERICA, BORED FLIERS ON THEIR WAY HOME FROM HOLIDAY TRIPS ARE PERUSING THE UNINTENTIONAL HILARITY THAT IS THE SKY MALL.

I had the pleasure this year of window-shopping during a long, sweaty return flight from Florida in order to distract me from my biohazardous brother as he fought the good fight with strep throat.

As my brother whined and wheezed, I flipped through the pages and encountered products that can only be construed as breakthrough genius....or a waste of Earth's resources. You decide.


MASSAGING HEATED BED REST
This is for the person who reads, eats, watches television, writes letters, cries, keeps a journal, essentially does everything in bed -- except have sex.    $125.00


FLAIR HAIR VISOR
I know what you’re thinking. Is that…can it be…? Yes. That is douche-y, Gotti- kid hair GLUED into the visor. And the worst part is that there’s a version for kids too. $24.99


FOREST FACES
A sort-of modern totem pole for the crazed sports fan. Or maybe just a substitute for leaving your mark by pissing. Available with baseball and football team logos. These are freaky. Do not buy them. $19.99.

Read about more unique products here.

Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.