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Brother, Can You Spare A Camera Crew? "Jen-gelina" Inspires International Mission

By Natalie Melendez

I recently was flipping through a stack of People mags at my dentist's office, the only pleasure I derive from that annual appointment other than the secret hope for nitrous oxide.

I picked up the issue with Jennifer Hudson’s heartbreaking family tragedy on the cover. In the upper right-hand corner there is a smiling Mother Theresa surrounded by Afghani refugee children. Hmm, that’s funny, I remember Mother Theresa looking a lot older and leathered.

I look closer.

Ooh, silly me, that’s not Mother Theresa --- it’s Angelina Jolie!

“EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS!” Shouts the headline. “Angelina: Her Secret War Zone Visit.”

Everyone’s most beloved and photographed Goodwill Ambassador is back! It’s a good thing that someone had the good sense to bring cameras along on this secret mission; otherwise no one would see exclusive photos of St. Angelina that People miraculously managed to obtain. (Brad, are you selling snaps again?)

I admit: I am impressed. There’s an extremely flattering photo of Angelina smiling with three radiantly needy refugee children. The caption reads: “Admiring the ‘courage’ and ‘resilience’ of the returnees.”

Might I add that I admire Angelina’s choice of minimal make-up for the shoot? A very nice, subtle, smoke-around-the-eyes look that doesn’t seem obviously made-up, which helps to stress the seriousness of the situation.

The next two photos are of a burdened “Angel”-ina gently touching the arm of a boy suffering from malaria; the boy is covered in flies.

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Since 1986, Natalie Melendez has been a work-in-progress. She currently resides in an undisclosed mountainous California location, where she spends most of her time studying, writing and roasting chestnuts by the fire. You can reach her at natalieismyname@gmail.com