BUSINESS
Seth Rogan's New Flick Taps Into "Naked" Drive For Quick Cash
By SexyChattyCatty
SETH ROGAN LOVES PORN.
The “Knocked Up” actor revealed recently that he watches "tons of porn. The Internet speeds have evolved directly with my sexual drive."
Of course he’s not alone.
The 26-year-old is the prime demographic of the industry: the age at which we (And I say 'we' cause I'm in the biz) describe male porn actors as “average.” As opposed to “mature,” which is over 40.
Rogan’s doing publicity for a new Kevin Smith movie titled Zack and Miri Make a Porno, described as a romantic comedy with a lot of skin. Rogan said he accepted the gig "almost...purely based on the title." It won’t be as raunchy as most of the stuff I’ve seen at work but I guess it’ll be more skin than a HBO serial. Or maybe not. HBO shows a hell of a lot of skin. And a lot of the kinky stuff I knew before working at the porn palace I learned from HBO. But I digress.
The movie’s premise – a down on their luck couple decide to make a porno for extra cash. Simple as that. But is it really that simple to make a porn flick? Ya know, I think it is. While there is a lot of slickly produced porn starring professionals such as Belladonna, Rocco Siffreddi and newcomers like sisters Ava and Mia Rose, there is also a huge amateur market. And who makes those amateurs films? People just like you. Well, like you but a lot more into sex.
You’d be amazed at the folks who are willing to take their clothes off for the camera and say “Ohhh, baby.” And distribute it. Never knowing really where it’s gonna end up. As in nudist clubs, these “actors” are all shapes, sizes and races. I’m not saying they make a lot of money. Some probably just enough to make another film. So you have to be a certain kind of person to commit to a amateur porn project.
There's this one guy, let’s call him the Asian gangster. Cause that’s what he looks like, ill-fitting pinstripe suits and all. But then, he’s a producer. He’s in jail now, on something totally unrelated, but every two weeks he hand-delivered his product to us. He doesn’t live very far away from the office. I think he walked because I never saw him get into a car. The amount he makes, if this is his only income, wouldn’t support a car anyway. He specializes in college porn. Young dudes and dudettes, barely past 18 (FYI, Hustler has a trademark on the phase “barely legal”) in what look like small dorm rooms with just enough room for a bed. The films are a bit grainy and a smidge cloudy but clearly porn.
One woman has enticed all of her girlfriends to make movies. They all have breasts -- so big they can sit with them plopped on a table like large, twin dinner plates.
Another woman lives in D.C., attends porn shows all over the world and goes by one name. She’s a gorgeous blond cougar who doesn’t seem to have a day job. All of her correspondence to us is on hotel stationary. She has one movie up on our site. She must have a “financier,” and that's a euphemism.
We had a co-worker who crowed day and night that he was in a gay porn that was coming out soon. He was good looking, great body, a little crazy but we kinda believed him. Well, he got fired. And then his movie came into our office. And we watched it, about seven of us, all huddled around one computer screen. He was a bit “stiff” but then it was his first movie. How awkward is it to see your former co-worker naked and having sex with a bunch of guys? VERY.
But it wasn’t awkward at all when he came to visit us at the neighborhood lounge one Friday night. We welcomed him home, then he beat everyone at Ms. Pac-Man. He’s a guy of many talents and seems poised for success.
Homegrown Video” crowned the granddaddy of amateur by Penthouse mag, has more than 700 movies in it’s amateur series. Real amateurs. People you probably won’t see again because they take their little bit of money and run. But there is always someone else to take their place, someone who can sidle up to you and say, 'Hey, I was in a porn movie.'
And don’t think I haven’t thought about doing it myself. We talk about it all the time at lunch. But then we look at each other and picture us naked and, nah, it just wouldn’t work.
SexyChattyCatty comments at CrabbyGolightly.com on TV, America's favorite snack food. Originally published September 10, 2008.
For me, though, this latest photo is salve to the provocative photographs that W published in 2005 of Brad and Angelina. Posing as a large and lustful family, the pictures came out when “Brangelina” was still a new – and unwelcome -- public concept. The latest snaps of Angelina as the actual mother to Brad’s children comes off as a satisfied “I told you so” to the people who doubted their relationship in the beginning.
