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Let's Take A Ride: Monday's 'Mad Men' Minutes

By Miz J

I thought the car with major fin action that Don buys would be a bigger deal than it is. It’s a baby-blue Cadillac, and Don makes sure everyone wipes their hands and feet upon entering this small piece of heaven on wheels – despite the things he’s already been up to in his old car. I found that bit pretty funny.

I mean, there are so many jokes to make and so little time. Okay, here’s one: Betty, upon checking out the new Caddy, says they should take it to Jimmy Barrett’s party the following week. Don asks how she knew about it, and she says, “He called the house. I think he likes talking to me.” ZING. I love how she can be so unintentionally funny sometimes.

Meanwhile, some interesting developments are taking place inside of Sterling Cooper’s smoke-drenched, wood-paneled walls. First, there’s the matter of the Boomer Boys, as I call them (remember the two geeks that interviewed with Don in the first episode? Especially the one with the frigging cable knit sweater? Yes, it’s them I’m talking about). These two young guys, hired by Don to give the agency a more youthful edge with its clients, are presenting their point of view to the Martinson’s Coffee bigwigs and I really just can’t stand it. Because I’ve already seen so much damn Woodstock footage in my relatively short lifetime that I hate hearing about how Boomers are feeling at any given moment. However, even though I can’t dig it, man, the Martinson’s guys can, and Mr. Martinson – THE Mr. Martinson – asks Don to join the philanthropic group he’s organizing.

At the urging of Roger Sterling and Bertram Cooper – THE Sterling and THE Cooper – Don accepts this new position and begins to enjoy this turning point in his career.

In addition, the sometimes-odd and always shoe-less Bertram Cooper has bought himself a $10,000 eyesore of a painting and he’s been calling execs up one by one to get their “honest” opinions of the piece. Naturally, you’re imagining a lot of “Uh, I like the colors?” type of stuttering going on, and you’re right to do that. Because that’s what it is, along with lots of “What is he LOOKING for me to say?” follow-up conversations behind closed office doors.

To satisfy some of the staffers’ curiosity, Jane, the secretary I’ve been calling the new Joan, takes a few of the boys into Cooper’s office after hours. This starts a catty bitch war between her and Joan, who finds out about the visit and confronts Jane. Jane retaliates by being all, “Bitch, you listen here,” which totally gets her kicky scarf-wearin’ ass fired. But this gal’s got an ace up her sleeve; she tracks down Roger Sterling with her box o’ crap in hands to “say goodbye,” and, predictably, he saves her. He promises to talk to Joan, and Jane, either knowingly or unknowingly, promises to do something in return. From the way she talks to Joan though, I’d guess Jane’s nobody’s fool and knows just exactly what she’s doing.

While all this is happening, there’s something brewing between Sal and Ken – but I don’t think Ken really knows that, so SHHH! Ken asks Sal to read his latest work, The Golden Violin, and Sal, flattered (and a little giddy, I think), accepts, then asks him to stop by that weekend to pick up the manuscript and have dinner with him and his wife Kitty. I instantly feel sorry for Kitty, seeing as how Sal’s gay and all. I mean, I knew right away that was the score. He knows what gingham is. Even I had to look that one up, and I am the girliest of girls when it comes to clothes.

So of course, this makes things awkward, as Sal pretty much fawns all over Ken at dinner, ignoring Kitty, who in turn gets upset after Ken beats a hasty retreat. It looks like both hubby and wife know the score too: Big Gay Al, zero, Matrimonial Sex Life, negative 506. This is a SAD scene for anyone who was hoping that Sal would stop tormenting himself like he did in the first season, especially because he’s bringing down someone else with him this time around.

Instead of really taking stock of what’s going on, Ken busies himself with trying to woo Jane, not that he’s really getting anywhere. So hey, Sal, keep your hopes up – he may come around eventually! Jane knows that Joan is going to approach her, but with Roger’s reassurances in the back of her mind, she just battens down the hatches and waits for Hurricane Holloway to strike. Once Jane tells her about her conversation with Roger, though, Joan says, “Oh, I see. It’s VERY clear.” So she really IS the new Joan! Stick with me, kids, I know what’s happening.

So here’s the most delectable part of this episode: Jimmy’s obviously got a thing for Betty, as he asked her to be at the party in the first place, and then asks her to keep him company during. But it’s not what you think. They sit and watch as Don and Bobbie discuss “business,” as in hotel rooms, whips, chains, diapers…whatever. Freaks.

It’s during this powwow that Jimmy leans in and mentions that he’s glad Betty’s there, because ya know, their spouses get along so well. GET IT, Betty? Betty gets it, alright, and then gets pissed. She walks away, telling Don she’s not feeling well – hey, the truth can be hard to digest, especially if you’ve been drinking and denying – so they start to leave. Jimmy waits for them to come around to get their coats, and has a strong, awesome word with Don: “You step out, that’s fine – get a whore. You don’t sleep with another man’s wife. You’re garbage.” After finding out he was a slut last week, this pretty much fucks Don up, and I love it. So that officially makes Jimmy Barret my new hero. OFFICIALLY. Check it out here.

To end the night on a romantic note, we see Don and Betty driving home in tense, death-stare silence. Suddenly, Betty just barfs all over the pretty new car. And that’s all, folks. I don’t think I can even handle another drink after that, but I’m willing to try anyway.

Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.