WRAP-UP
'Mad Men' Finale: Making Penance, And Predictions For Season Three
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Action. Drama. Suspense. FINALLY.
After two seasons of Don running roughshod over his marriage vows (and earning the well-deserved slut title to boot), Betty gets angry when she learns she's pregnant. And all this time, we thought it'd be Joan, who ended up getting raped at work instead. I'm not going to stop bringing that up -- I need some closure there, and now I know I won't get it until next frickin season!
Anyway, being knocked up makes Betty peeved enough to go out and have a fling with a random guy at a bar. What's the deal with Betty? She's become deliciously evil this season -- from setting up her married riding partners to cheating on Don -- and I want to see more of it. Payback is coming for Don, whose tripping visit to Los Angeles has helped him find his true "Dickness," and now actually shows some remorse. But could 'Mad Men' even survive with a morally striving "Don?" Doubt it.
And thanks to the no-commercial-interruption thing, I had NO TIME to get a drink, lest I miss something important, like, oh, I don't know -- PEGGY TELLING PETE ABOUT THAT BABY OF HIS. The baby that's barely been mentioned all season, even though it'ss like two years old and during the first season, Peggy's weight gain and subsequent absence from work made her condition totally obvious, even to a Drunk-O-Saurus Rex like me. Waiting for this moment was like having an itch in the middle of your back for EIGHTEEN MONTHS and finally getting someone to give you a little scratch, but not enough to full-on fix it. Damn you, Mad Men! I want answers (and one of those backscratcher things like my grandma has).
So, since we won't be getting any answers until next summer sometime and everyone's going to rehash this episode looking for insights into next season, I went ahead, stirred up a tall, refreshing screwdriver, and made a few predictions to tide us all over.
1. Don takes McCann up on their job offer from the first season. Despite their harsh treatment of Betty, Don decides to cash in at SC and then take himself over to McCann and shut SC down. Or, better yet, take their entire creative workforce with him to the other side of the illustrious Madison Ave.
2. Joan will try to recapture her temporary position in the TV department to her husband's dismay. He's the controlling type, so I bet that this splits them up (or at least I hope -- Ms. Holloway should not meet a tragic ending such as marriage to a date rapey type. Not her style.)
3. Betty, just to stir shit up, will tell Don about the affair. Or, better yet, her girlfriends from the neighborhood, who'll tell their husbands, who'll tell Don. Because news is always better when it's third-hand and mangled into total inaccuracy. Hilarity will ensue?
4. Trudy and Pete will "accidentally" adopt Peggy's son. Tell me you didn't think that when he said, "Why would you tell me that?" You did so! And so did I! Because I was sober enough to pick up the hint!
5. I will discover a much more potent blend of Long Island Iced Tea, start to review the first episode of the third season, and get it all jumbled.
6. Prediction #5 will be the only one that actually happens.
In light of that, I gotta say goodnight so I can go add vodka to the shopping list. Til next season!
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted October 27, 2008
PAST LIVES REVISITED
'Mad Men' Minutes: Who Will Come To The Emotional Rescue?
WHOA. OKAY, WAIT. THE STUFF THAT'S BEEN GOING ON SINCE LAST SUNDAY'S EPISODE IS GIVING MORE OF A BUZZ THAN ANY BOOZE. Although, I’ve chosen a very potent blend of Long Island Iced Tea to get me through tonight’s sideshow.
For starters, sweet little Sally Draper is trying her hand at smoking. Caught between puffs in the tiny bathroom by Betty, Sally drops the cigarette in the sink and delivers my own familiar standby, “I wasn’t smoking.” Next week, she’ll graduate to, “I was just holding it for a friend.” Heh. Incensed, Betty yells at her, “You could have burned the house down!” Which, you know, TRUE, but also, she can get cancer from those things. But I suppose that little nugget of truth is still about twenty or so years away from discovery.
Anyway, so Sally’s rebelling, and Betty’s reeling, wondering what’s going to happen next, but prolonging this purgatorial stint before the shit really hits the fan. Seems like there’s a lot of that going around.
Cooper, Sterling and Cooper’s relatives are trying to decide whether or not to sell the agency to Putnam, Powell & Lowe – and of course, it’s a tough decision: sell out for all that money or keep going as is and stay in charge of everything. I’ll bet you’ll never guess what they choose.
We see Don get off a bus in California and knock on the door of the ACTUAL Mrs. Draper. Remember, last season, we saw how Don Draper came to be Don Draper. Don’t forget that he’s actually Dick Whitman, and his sergeant, Don Draper, was killed in combat. Don/Dick stepped in as Don in order to make a new life for himself and escape his family. After the war, Don got a job at a car dealership (where Ann Draper ran into him and accused him of not being Don Draper), and now he and Ann have actually become very close. Turns out Don and Ann are like family, and pretend to be when Don introduces Ann to Betty. Hmm. Well played, Don/Dick.
So Don is spilling his guts (well, in a Don Draper sort of way) to Ann about his marriage and how he’s fucked everything up. The look on Ann’s face basically says, “Yeah, you did. Nice job.” Is it me, or does it seem like Dick Whitman just wants to keep destroying his life again and again so he can start over? Or is he just plain self-destructive?
Meanwhile, back at Sterling Cooper, Trudy has snuck in an appointment with an adoption agency, and Pete hits the roof when his secretary tells him. He goes home and they fight about it, with Pete being the usual drama queen and trying to illustrate his point by pretending to jump out the window. This guy is a one-man douche-a-rama, I tell you what. I am constantly amazed by what the women on this show deem acceptable behavior from men, and can see why Peggy is more interested in getting her name on the door at work. Which brings me to more interesting news: Peggy scores Rummy’s office.
This brassy, brazen bitch walked right up to Sterling and said she wanted the office, and that she was bringing in business and felt she deserved it. I was totally cheering for her, even if Roger was condescending: “You women today are so aggressive. It’s cute.” PUKE, but hey, it did the trick. Go Peggy!
Cut to a scene of Joan and Greg in bed. It’s time to get amorous, but Greg is tired, so Joan offers to, as she says, “drive.” Greg gets all suspicious and Joan’s like, “Come on. There was no before,” so she must have told him she was a virgin -- a lie that's so unbelievably fantastic. So what’s going on? Is she this desperate to settle down? I never thought I’d see the day where Joan would be so…so…insecure. But, as the ad men say, wait! There’s more!
It turns out Greg is not the All-American, perfect hero we expect. Joan brings him around for a visit, and they slip into Don’s office for a nip, where Greg proceeds to rape Joan on the floor! Then, they get up and go…to…dinner. Um.
This shit is getting WEIRD, cats.
Were you wondering what’s going on with Betty? Especially after last week’s revelation with Glen’s mom that she’s the head of the household? Well, I’ll have you know that Betty is RUNNIN’ THANGS. You’ll notice a marked difference in her from the start – much more aggressive, although still insecure. She’s also become sneaky, as evidenced by her phone call to Sara Beth, her riding partner. As you might have suspected, Sara Beth hooked up with that young guy they ride with after Betty flaked out on that country club lunch. Sara Beth tells Betty this, and a peeved Betty tells her that she shouldn’t have done that. Sara Beth accuses Betty of wanting that ride herself and Betty doesn’t deny it. But says that there’s a difference between wanting and having and Sara Beth should have understood that. True, but part of me wonders just how devious Betty really is…brrr. With friends like that, you really don’t need enemies.
Speaking of frenemies, Peggy moves into Rummy’s office and Joan is typing quietly just outside the doorway. The two stop to chat, and Peggy wonders aloud about Don. Joan’s kind of meh about the Don situation (I mean, with him gone, there’s probably not a lot to do, which…sweet!). Peggy compliments her on Greg, who’s dreamy. You know, aside from that whole date-rapey thing. Enter Kinsey, who’s fresh from a dangerous race protest down South. Sheila dumped him, which isn’t really a surprise. He probably babbled about how everyone’s the same, and she thought it best to distance herself from the kind of concentrated rage that those kinds of oversimplified statements create. Wise lady, that Sheila. Wanna bet that he and Joan get back together?
Back to Betty: she and Sally begin to talk. Betty says she realizes she’s been unfair to her and that it’s time to talk to her like a big girl. So she lays it out: Dad and I had a fight, he’s gone away for a while. Just know that everything’s going to be okay. Sally seems happy with this explanation. Hopefully, she’ll quit smoking. I can’t bear the sight of an eight-year-old smoking. I have a mouth like a sailor and I love a you’re-going-to-hell kind of joke, but damn. Even I have limits, people.
Lastly, as Peggy enjoys her new office view with a shot of J&B left over in Rummy’s stash, Pete drops by to chat. He’s been doing that a lot lately. I think he misses Peggy a little bit. Aww. You sweet little douchebag.
He tells her about how Clearasil is pulling out of Sterling Cooper (although he fails to really mention the details behind it – that his father-in-law is upset that he won’t help Trudy adopt), and she asks about the LA trip Pete took with Don. He tells her that Don just disappeared, but he didn’t call the police because he’s done this sort of thing before. Peggy is left wondering where her dashing mentor might be, and we then see Chisel Cheeks standing hip deep in the ocean, daring it to take him away.
Pssh. Coward. I need another drink.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted October 20, 2008
OUT OF HIS WORLD
Out-Of-His-World: Don Draper Gets Trippy In La La Land
HAT LOOKING-GLASS HAVE I TRAVELED THROUGH?
I’m filling in for the regular secretary of “Mad Men Minutes,” and can’t wait to meet this suave, alpha male named Don to entrance me with his sex appeal. Instead, I encounter some monosyllabic, shallow Dick who appears dazed and confused and unsure of who or where he is. Is he Don, Dick, Harry? But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Tonight’s Mad Men episode opens with the lovely kitten Jane lolling in bed while writing an ode to silver-haired suitor, Roger Sterling.
“You make me new with laughter. You make me old with wisdom,’’ she sings. But the word ‘old’ disturbs Roger, who’d rather not be reminded of their age difference. “It doesn’t matter how old I am, our souls are the same age,” coos Jane. Roger, amazed at his own good fortune, pops the question. Kitten’s in shock! “How do I know that I’m not going to eat another mushroom, and this room will disappear, and I’ll be back on the train to Trenton?”
Oohhh, that would give me the willies, too, Jane. But …mushrooms? My, how far we’ve come from Miz J’s Cherry infusions last week! Crabby, alas, is stone-cold sober when taking in this scene. Someone has to bear witness to Roger assuring his prize that he will be hers to keep.
Meanwhile, Mr. Don Draper is standing poolside in La La Land as Pete informs him that TWA has misplaced his luggage but that the hotel has swim trunks. “There’s not going to be any swimming,’’ Don tells Pete. They’re here to get clients, not suntans. Get out to Pasadena and make someone feel special, Don directs. When Pete protests, the big man snaps, “You want to be on vacation, Pete, I can make that happen.”
As Don makes his way to the bar and orders an “old-fashioned,’’ along comes Viscount Willy who introduces him to a young girl who has been visually snacking on him all afternoon. Don, meet Joy, the soon-to-be-apparent member of a nomadic grifters’ clique. But who cares when Joy offers Don something for free: sex.
And after taking a first pass at dalliance with Joy, Don takes the bait and accompanies her to Palm Springs where he too-easily falls in with these well-kept loaf-abouts in a gorgeous glass California home. (Crabby immediately wants in.) Despite his lecture to Pete, Don abandons business for pleasure. I guess that aeronautical slideshow on MIRVs makes Don think striving to be better is pointless.
But…are his new friends drugging him? Only minutes after arriving at the swank spread and having a drink, Don passes out. When he comes to, a Dr. Klaus is about to give him a shot of “medicine” but Don quickly recoils and says, “It’s okay. I just need water and some aspirin.” Joy sends everyone out, and Don asks, “Who are these people?” They’re friends,’’ Joy replies. “We’re nomads. We have an open door policy.”
Meanwhile, back in New York, Duck stops by to tell Roger he’s ready to hear “partner” talk. But the boss tells him he’s got a weak case. “Everyone thinks you’re a fine fellow,’ Roger says, “but If I were you, I’d go out there and make rain.” Get it, Duck? Rain? Hehe. But Duck takes the advice to heart: he reaches out to his old European-based agency, suggests that it buy Sterling Cooper and make him creative director. The old boss says he didn’t know the SC was for sale. Oh, but it can be, Duck suggests: “Roger Sterling has a 20-year-old-fiancé and his wife's lawyer not going to leave him a pot to piss in.”
Okaaay, playa. Just stay away from the Tanqueray.
And somewhere else in the agency, new guy Kurt candidly reveals that he is a “homosexual…I make love with men not with women.” The news disturbs Ken who asks what bathroom Kurt uses, and takes Peggy off-guard (she’s going to a Bob Dylan concert that night with Kurt). A repressed Salvatore tries hard not to have any reaction. During the night’s weakest moment, when Kurt goes to pick up Peggy for the concert, he gets all queer-eyed and cuts her hair to snip her “old school” look. Apparently in the 60s every gay man moonlighted as a hairdresser.
Let’s wrap this up in Palm Springs, where Don’s recovery is followed by dinner, entertaining chatter, and dessert (a la a romp with “Joy.”) The next morning, Joy reads The Sound and the Fury in bed, but confesses the sex is better than the prose. “I like sex. You do, too, I can tell,” she tells Don.
Later, as the two lounge poolside, Don witnesses the return of two sad children to this desert looking-glass (Yoowho?? Remember your name?) and then pensively studies his cocktail glass. Is… that …residue on the rim?
In the morning, still seeming under the spell of some drug, Don furtively makes a phone call and identifies himself as “Dick Whitman.” Regulars know that this means Don is regressing while hanging loose with this California cult. These people have slipped Don/Dick some sort of Mickey, and it isn’t clear when or if he’s going to wake up. Permalink
Posted October 13, 2008
IMPROPRIETIES
Monday's 'Mad Men' Minutes: "The Inheritance" Leaves Me High and Dry
WOW, WHAT A DOWNER THIS WEEK'S EPISODE WAS.
If I didn’t have my usual cocktail at my side, there’d be nothing to look forward to this time around – Betty’s dad has a stroke that basically short-circuits his brain, Pete’s being pressed to adopt on one side and being pressed NOT to adopt on the other, and hardly anything happens at the office at all.
Well. There IS one thing: a trip to LA is in the works for a convention. It’s 1962, after all, and the US is still clamoring to get something – ANYTHING – up into space, so there’s a scientific convention going on, and the Mad Men are devising plots to get their hooks into some sweet government funds. It’s decided by Don that Pete and oh-so-smug Kinsey will go, even though it appears once again that Peggy’s more ready than either of them to match wits with the geeks. Surprise, surprise.
As you’d expect by the title, this one deals with mortality in a pretty heavy way. Hearing that her dad’s had a stroke, Betty phones Don and they head out to her childhood home to be with him and Gloria, her father’s new wife that she roundly despises. When she arrives, Betty learns that the stroke happened days ago, and that her father’s actually had one before and Gloria never told her.
This is the part where I’d be throwing shit, but Betty always keeps that icy demeanor of hers perfectly frozen in place – she even stays stone-faced after her father forgets who she is and squeezes her tit in front of everyone at the breakfast table. I choked on my drink, you guys. And that HURTS. And I’m the audience, not the recipient of The Squeeze, as it will now be called from here on out.
The weirdest thing about this whole misadventure, besides The Squeeze, is the fact that Betty and Don DID IT and now that she’s home again, he’s out on his ass at the Roosevelt still. That’s some reserve she’s showing there.
Meanwhile, Pete’s dealing with his father’s demise from earlier this season. The fact that his dad left them with no real assets to speak of means that Pete and his brother Bud have had to do creative accounting to take care of their mother, who is a right bitch if I ever met one. She’s one of those flat-assed, wispy cardigan-around-the-shoulder types with a perma-scowl slashed across her face. This uppity broad challenges Pete’s eligibility in the will (and, knowing what we know, this is laughable) because Bud mentioned that Pete and Trudy were looking to adopt. Since Trudy is infertile, they have no other option – Trudy REALLY WANTS a baby. Pete is reserved, and we see why when his mother tells him that adopting is just “pulling from the discards.” Wow. I don’t even have the words, folks.
Naturally, since Bud was being a dick about spilling the beans to the elderly, bitchy Mrs. Campbell, Pete zings him back by saying that there’s no damn money. The look on her face is priceless, and Bud’s stuck looking like a chump and fumbling for the words to explain himself. Heh.
While all this drama is going on with Betty and Pete separately, Kinsey’s gotten himself in over his head with this whole black girlfriend thing, because Shirley wants him to go with her to a dangerous protest down South, and he’s obviously very glad to be going on that LA trip instead. Naturally, Shirley’s pissed, and they argue about it, with Kinsey going overboard at all the wrong times to prove that he’s “one of them.” For instance, he makes conversation with Hollace, the elevator operator, and all of a sudden, because Shirley’s there, it’s all, “Hollace, please, you know it’s Paul,” when Hollace calls Paul “Mr. Kinsey.” Um, no he doesn’t.
Anyway, with Betty’s rebuff still smarting, Don decides to take Kinsey’s spot on the LA trip, and now he’s off to the protest. Heh. You might be wondering how he discovers that Don’s going to be nestling his ass into that cramped coach seat instead of him. Well, I’ll tell you: Joan, Don’s new secretary (and, literally, Roger’s handoff, as Jane has now become his secretary/lover), is instructed to write Kinsey a memo explaining the situation. Instead, she saunters into the conference room, where a drunken baby shower for Harry is underway, and tells him in front of everyone. Zing! Excellent payback for that prank he pulled months ago where he posted her drivers’ license with her birthday highlighted in the main hallway. Nice touch, Miss Holloway. Maximum damage inflicted. I toast you with a second drink, now that my throat is no longer on fire.
SO – if the tit-grabbing and torrid relationship drama just aren’t enough for you, in comes Weird Kid Glen, who’s been sleeping in the Draper’s backyard playhouse for the last few days, waiting for Betty to come home. His mother wants to send him to live with his father, and he doesn’t want to go. Betty takes him inside for a meal and a change of clothes, and they hang out all day. While sitting on the couch watching cartoons, Glen takes her hand and says that he’s come to rescue her. Before she can set him straight though, in waltzes Carla with the kids, who have been staying with Francine while Betty was away. They go play with Glen, and Betty calls his mother, which Glen sees as the ultimate betrayal. Later, Betty and Glen’s mother talk, and an unlikely friendship develops since they’re both separated and struggling with being heads of household. I’m kind of glad about this, because I like that sassy redhead. I think she’ll bring a much-needed dash of daring into Betty’s play-it-straight existence.
Too bad I won’t be seeing next week’s episode – I’m going on vacation (Crabby will fill in, and she's not nearly as much fun as me!) But I’ll be refreshed for the season finale, and hope you’ll come back to rehash the whole season with me! But for now…one last drink awaits.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted October 6, 2008
PISSING DRUNK
'Mad Men' Minutes & A Cautionary Tale For On-The-Job Boozers
LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE WAS THE TOMATO IN MY BLOODY MARY. Yes, even the amazing Miz J sometimes needs a little hair of the dog, especially the day after her birthday extravaganza, during which she is introduced to the magical deliciousness of Skyy Cherry Infusions.
Anyway, with all this boozy talk flowing like so much…er, booze, watch Freddy Rummy-er, Rumsen show us the consequences of drinking on the job and ruining a nice pair of slacks.
And right before the big Samsonite meeting too. Which, of course, Peggy steps into in order to save face. Personally, folks, Miss Olsen is my hero. I like her more with every passing, drunken Sunday evening.
A side story that gets in the way is Marilyn Monroe's untimely death. Most of the women in the office are upset by the news except scrappy Peggy, who contends that it’s a good thing Maidenform didn’t run that Jackie/Marilyn campaign the agency offered them a while back. Heh, is it fucked up that I totally thought the same thing?
Joan, however, takes it a little more personally, telling Roger that someday he’ll lose someone close and find out that it’s actually quite painful. Talk about foreshadowing. Or maybe it’s like TWOshadowing, because I didn’t see tonight’s ending coming AT ALL. It’s like when you’re fucking with your iPod and you walk into a tree or something. Not that I would know anything about that.
Don’s still not allowed at home, which leads him to pile on work just to pass the time, like organizing the agency blood drive. It’s funny how much free time he has now that he’s keeping his pants on. Oddly enough, Betty’s been doing the same thing, and becoming a recluse. Carla tries to get her out, and she does go riding once. While there, she invites Arthur and Sarah Beth out for a lunch, then ditches out. It’s SAD.
Meanwhile, Rumsen wakes from his drunken, piss-soaked stupor, shoes wet and squishy as he quietly leaves the office. I look at my drink, pause, wonder if perhaps my liver’s suffered enough abuse this weekend, and then take another biiiiiiig delicious gulp. I figure I’ll quit when I piss myself.
Since Don’s still living the hotel life, Jane is proving to be a wise and discreet secretary, something that you should note for later. She buys him some extra shirts, since he’s probably been rocking the same three for a while now, and probably not washing them, either. Sterling calls him into his office, where Campbell and Duck are waiting to tell him what went down with Rummy. The consensus is to fire him under the guise of a “six month leave,” even though Roger and Don really don’t want to. Drinking problem or no, Rummy’s actually got a storied history with the agency and clearly has talent. But Duck and Campbell persist, saying that this kind of episode could be repeated in front of clients and they have to nip it in the bud. In the end, Roger agrees, and he and Don take Rummy out to dinner to break the news to him…where they proceed to get completely fucking loaded.
The boozy trio ends up at an underground casino, where they run into Jimmy Barrett, who gets socked in the face by Don. Needless to say, the guys are promptly escorted out, and Roger and Don continue to drink the night away after sending Rummy off. Roger has been trying to figure out the entire time what’s going on with Don, and he plans to get the answer even if he has to blow off a desperate chick at the bar. Wow. What’s that all about? You’ll see.
Roger keeps talking to Don: “You want to be happy or you want to stay married?” Don says, “Well, you have to live your life,” words that get twisted in the next scene, where Don is confronted by Roger’s wife Mona. “He’s leaving me. For a secretary. And you told him he had to live his life. Twenty-five years of marriage.” She walks out of Don’s office, where Jane is sitting, crying, and Roger approaches to try to talk to her. Don puts two and two together, and that’s basically where it ends this time. No two-minute long montage with some indie artist’s “interpretation” of a blues song, no character contemplation, none of that artsy crap. It just ends, Soprano-style. Which makes me thirsty for some good wine. Excuse me.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted September 29, 2008
AND THE WINNER IS...
With A 'Wink' And A Nod, Unemployed Actor Plucked for 'Mad Men' Walk-on
EW YORKER JUSTIN ZELL CHANNELED JOAN HOLLOWAY as a saucy school marm with a glandular problem to win a bit part on AMC's Emmy-winning series Mad Men.
Zell, an unemployed actor, was "estatic" to win, said his father Victor Zell, of Binghamton, NY Wednesday night. "You could hear the excitement in his voice. And then I called him this afternoon, and he was even more estatic because he got a call from Access Hollywood. They want to do an interview with him."
The younger Zell was out of town and expected to spring the news on his mom, Virginia "Bourbon" Zell, at dinner at an undisclosed location at 5 p.m. today. The bit part is the culmination of years of singing and acting in elementary and high school productions, according to his father.
"He’s very talented,'' said Justin's proud papa. "He’s been in this for years."
"The whole thing was too good I thought,'' said Dad. "The part that struck me [was] when he got to the very end when he looked away way and brought his eyes back. And I thought...that’s just phenomenal."
Allegedly, Zell was personally selected by Mad Men's very own creator (and Emmy winner) Matt Weiner and Co-Executive Producer Scott Hornbacher, no doubt because of the knawing hunger in his adorable belly and his tongue-in-cheek (wink-wink) adaptation of ambitious-at-any-cost office manager Joan Holloway. Zell submitted six taped performances to the contest, for which the public was invited to vote on 18 finalists.
"Thank you so much. This is so awesome,'' Zell apparently commented to someone at AMC. He shared the credit with his friends who collaborated on the pieces. "We even had Mad Men watching dinner parties -- to which, however, I didn't wear a dress. Mostly." He spared outing the person responsible for helping him select the blue polyester day dress with geometric designs that he donned for his Holloway audition.
Zell's ironic snideness received only 603 votes -- or 1,500 fewer than fan favorite Jacob who turned in a convincing performance but clearly took himself and the contest much too seriously. And surely a New York winner would generate 25 times the buzz in the media capitol of the world. At least, that is how the minds of marketing geniuses work. Permalink
Posted September 25, 2008
A TOAST TO 'MAD MEN'
Cheers To The Cast And Crew of 'Mad Men'! Now Get Back To Work
SIGH. NO NEW EPISODE OF MAD MEN THIS WEEK. To get my usual fix, I had to tune into the snooze-fest known as the Emmys where the series raked in six awards, one of which being Best Drama, a first for a basic-cable show - — especially a show that’s good, but isn’t quite drawing in a record number of viewers.
You’d think that would be exciting, but no. This ceremony, topping out at an ass-flattening three hours, was completely boring! So I must confess, dear readers, that I didn’t exactly watch the whole damn thing. For a while there, I took my tumbler of vodka and retreated to the office to play Solitaire where I would get to choose my own design for my deck of cards and then maybe win a game or two! And that’s infinitely more exciting than sitting through the Best Craft Service award on a TV Show No One Gives a Fuck About.
Series creator Matt Weiner accepted his award and then used up his 5 seconds saying this: "I want to thank all the people that went before us in television to make a show like this because we're just channeling it every day and we love going to work." Yes, well, I want to thank you for that awesome plot line about Peggy being pregnant, and also for the answers as to where that baby went, but YOU’RE AT THE EMMYS INSTEAD OF PROVIDING ME WITH A NEW FUCKING EPISODE. Now, take your hard-earned awards and get back to work!
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted September 23, 2008
POOR BETTY
You're Invited To A 'Pity' Party! It's 'Mad Men' Minutes
THIS WEEK STARTS WITH BETTY BOUNDING FORWARD ON HER TRUSTY STEED – it’s obvious that she’s been thinking about what Jimmy told her last week, and I’m DYING to see if she finally does something with what she’s feeling, other than just bottle it up again. And, finally, my prayers have been answered, folks: she does NOT disappoint.
Some clients and agency types will be dining at Casa De Draper, and Betty’s stressing out about it (in addition to, you know, that OTHER thing). This amounts to her smashing a wobbly chair to bits with her bare fucking hands at one point while the kids look on and sort of shrug: “Oh, that Mom, she’s craaaaaaaaaaaaazy.” Won’t someone please help poor, helpless Betty? No?
Well, looks like she’ll have to take care of herself.
Meanwhile, at Sterling Cooper, everyone’s stretched thin, including Harry, who seems to have bitten off more than he can chew as the new Head of the Television Department (which consists of himself). Roger refuses to staff a script-reader position to aid Harry, so Joan gets pulled in to do this job, which fits her quite well, actually. Almost as well as her form-fitting dresses. I say “almost” because NOTHING fits her like those dresses – I mean, damn, they looked PAINTED on. How does she SIT?
In Don’s office, he and Duck are discussing Heineken, and Don insists that the way to improve the client’s market share is to put up a few end caps in the grocery store, away from the other beers and near party supplies like toothpicks to make it seem like it’s the fancy beer you serve at a dinner party. Duck and Pete seem skeptical, but insist that Don should sell that idea to the client.
Elsewhere, Peg is getting henpecked by Father Gill, who’s calling her at work about getting her help with developing a poster for an upcoming church dance. I like how, when her desk phone rang, Peggy totally pretended to be her own secretary. That’s some shit I’d do, just because I need to feel important.
As always, Peggy delivers, and with a great headline: “A Night To Remember.” However, the church, in spite of throwing this dance in the first place, apparently doesn’t want its young girls remembering any kind of NIGHT. Because that is SINFUL. What isn’t sinful, though, are the outfits on these broads. In the first shot of them, I thought Peggy would sit on them, because the dresses they’re sporting seriously look like remnants of my Nana’s couch at her place in Florida. YIKES. So anyway, it’s back to the drawing board for Peggy, whose eyes are rolling backward deep into her brain tissue. I hear ya, sister: both as a copywriter and a Catholic. These pro-boner assignments can really tax you. And, no, that's not a typo.
Fast-forward to the night of the SC party at the Drapers’. LOOK! It’s a black person! Oh, never mind, it’s just Carla, the maid. Notice how it seems as if there are virtually NO black people in all of New York? Doesn’t matter where any of the characters go – and I mean, really, was the REAL New York of 1962 THAT segregated? Even on the trains?
Anyway, Betty and Carla have really outdone themselves. The party is an absolute hit. Mrs. Colson (the client’s wife) is soused, and that’s when I remember I need a refill myself. But it has to wait: Betty seats her guests for dinner, where she’s prepared a variety of dishes from around the globe. I’m impressed, and kind of wish I could pull off something like that without having to call my mother, the local fire department, and six different carry-out places just to save face.
After she’s finished telling the guests about the menu, she points them to her drink area, where she’s purchased, without any prodding or mention of the product from Don, Heineken beer, which was “imported from Holland.” Don’s philosophy is correct, and the ad men share a laugh, which Betty doesn’t understand. They explain Don’s philosophy to her, and you can see the embarrassment on her face. This is where Betty realizes that she needs to stand up for herself, and as soon as Carla helps her clear the last dish,she goes to it.
WHOA. I have a newfound respect not only for Jimmy Barrett, but now for Betty Draper as well. And this respect only grows throughout the episode, because she holds her ground, even though Don refuses to admit he’s been skanking around on her. Which…bish please. You have a REPUTATION. In NEW YORK CITY. EVERYONE KNOWS. Don needs to stop fooling himself. And to put it away, seriously.
Now that she’s truly a woman scorned, Betty spends the entire day in her party dress from the night before, tearing up the entire bedroom in order to find proof of Don’s cheating. Even Sally comes in to ask if she’s okay. Those poor fucking kids. Don comes home to find Betty disheveled and desperate, and she tells him, “I would never do this to you. How could you do this to me?” AND STILL HE DENIES. I hate this guy!
So now that Joan’s got this groovy gig reading scripts, she’s really getting into her job instead of just the gossip surrounding it. She’s really great at it too, offering suggestions based on her newfound love of soap operas (her husband, whom we FINALLY meet, encourages her, almost condescendingly, to just stay home and watch TV. Seems familiar *cough, cough* ROGER). The clients are pleased with the new, streamlined TV Department, Roger tells Harry. Harry mentions that Joan was a tremendous help, which Roger waves off with what amounts to, “Well, that’s good, now she can get back to the steno pool with the rest of my eye candy,” and tells Harry to go ahead and put a new guy in the position, since the extra help has made such a big difference. Sorry, Joan! Better luck next time, which will be around 1990 or so.
The following evening, Betty’s at home watching TV when Jimmy’s Utz commercial comes on. It’s at this point that she stands up, takes dinner out of the oven (fuck that green bean casserole anyway, drive-thrus are where it’s AT in 1962!) and phones Don at work to tell him not to come home. “I don’t care what you do, but don’t come home. I don’t want to see you.” It is a beautiful moment in Mad Men history. So beautiful, that when I see Don settling in for the night at work with a Heineken, I laugh and head into the kitchen for a refresher of my own.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted September 15, 2008
TRASH PICK-UP
Let's Take A Ride: Monday's 'Mad Men' Minutes
Ithought the car with major fin action that Don buys would be a bigger deal than it is. It’s a baby-blue Cadillac, and Don makes sure everyone wipes their hands and feet upon entering this small piece of heaven on wheels – despite the things he’s already been up to in his old car. I found that bit pretty funny.
I mean, there are so many jokes to make and so little time. Okay, here’s one: Betty, upon checking out the new Caddy, says they should take it to Jimmy Barrett’s party the following week. Don asks how she knew about it, and she says, “He called the house. I think he likes talking to me.” ZING. I love how she can be so unintentionally funny sometimes.
Meanwhile, some interesting developments are taking place inside of Sterling Cooper’s smoke-drenched, wood-paneled walls. First, there’s the matter of the Boomer Boys, as I call them (remember the two geeks that interviewed with Don in the first episode? Especially the one with the frigging cable knit sweater? Yes, it’s them I’m talking about). These two young guys, hired by Don to give the agency a more youthful edge with its clients, are presenting their point of view to the Martinson’s Coffee bigwigs and I really just can’t stand it. Because I’ve already seen so much damn Woodstock footage in my relatively short lifetime that I hate hearing about how Boomers are feeling at any given moment. However, even though I can’t dig it, man, the Martinson’s guys can, and Mr. Martinson – THE Mr. Martinson – asks Don to join the philanthropic group he’s organizing.
At the urging of Roger Sterling and Bertram Cooper – THE Sterling and THE Cooper – Don accepts this new position and begins to enjoy this turning point in his career.
In addition, the sometimes-odd and always shoe-less Bertram Cooper has bought himself a $10,000 eyesore of a painting and he’s been calling execs up one by one to get their “honest” opinions of the piece. Naturally, you’re imagining a lot of “Uh, I like the colors?” type of stuttering going on, and you’re right to do that. Because that’s what it is, along with lots of “What is he LOOKING for me to say?” follow-up conversations behind closed office doors.
To satisfy some of the staffers’ curiosity, Jane, the secretary I’ve been calling the new Joan, takes a few of the boys into Cooper’s office after hours. This starts a catty bitch war between her and Joan, who finds out about the visit and confronts Jane. Jane retaliates by being all, “Bitch, you listen here,” which totally gets her kicky scarf-wearin’ ass fired. But this gal’s got an ace up her sleeve; she tracks down Roger Sterling with her box o’ crap in hands to “say goodbye,” and, predictably, he saves her. He promises to talk to Joan, and Jane, either knowingly or unknowingly, promises to do something in return. From the way she talks to Joan though, I’d guess Jane’s nobody’s fool and knows just exactly what she’s doing.
While all this is happening, there’s something brewing between Sal and Ken – but I don’t think Ken really knows that, so SHHH! Ken asks Sal to read his latest work, The Golden Violin, and Sal, flattered (and a little giddy, I think), accepts, then asks him to stop by that weekend to pick up the manuscript and have dinner with him and his wife Kitty. I instantly feel sorry for Kitty, seeing as how Sal’s gay and all. I mean, I knew right away that was the score. He knows what gingham is. Even I had to look that one up, and I am the girliest of girls when it comes to clothes.
So of course, this makes things awkward, as Sal pretty much fawns all over Ken at dinner, ignoring Kitty, who in turn gets upset after Ken beats a hasty retreat. It looks like both hubby and wife know the score too: Big Gay Al, zero, Matrimonial Sex Life, negative 506. This is a SAD scene for anyone who was hoping that Sal would stop tormenting himself like he did in the first season, especially because he’s bringing down someone else with him this time around.
Instead of really taking stock of what’s going on, Ken busies himself with trying to woo Jane, not that he’s really getting anywhere. So hey, Sal, keep your hopes up – he may come around eventually! Jane knows that Joan is going to approach her, but with Roger’s reassurances in the back of her mind, she just battens down the hatches and waits for Hurricane Holloway to strike. Once Jane tells her about her conversation with Roger, though, Joan says, “Oh, I see. It’s VERY clear.” So she really IS the new Joan! Stick with me, kids, I know what’s happening.
So here’s the most delectable part of this episode: Jimmy’s obviously got a thing for Betty, as he asked her to be at the party in the first place, and then asks her to keep him company during. But it’s not what you think. They sit and watch as Don and Bobbie discuss “business,” as in hotel rooms, whips, chains, diapers…whatever. Freaks.
It’s during this powwow that Jimmy leans in and mentions that he’s glad Betty’s there, because ya know, their spouses get along so well. GET IT, Betty? Betty gets it, alright, and then gets pissed. She walks away, telling Don she’s not feeling well – hey, the truth can be hard to digest, especially if you’ve been drinking and denying – so they start to leave. Jimmy waits for them to come around to get their coats, and has a strong, awesome word with Don: “You step out, that’s fine – get a whore. You don’t sleep with another man’s wife. You’re garbage.” After finding out he was a slut last week, this pretty much fucks Don up, and I love it. So that officially makes Jimmy Barret my new hero. OFFICIALLY. Check it out here.
To end the night on a romantic note, we see Don and Betty driving home in tense, death-stare silence. Suddenly, Betty just barfs all over the pretty new car.
And that’s all, folks. I don’t think I can even handle another drink after that, but I’m willing to try anyway.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted September 8, 2008
CALLING ALL TV WANNABES
Wanted: Sleezy Ad Type For 'Mad Men' Walk-On
P
SSSSST? WANNA WORK AT STERLING COOPER?
These folks do.
They’re the finalists who will compete for your votes to win a walk-on role on Mad Men—and clearly, almost all of them want to be Joan Holloway. People, people, PEOPLE: there can only be ONE Joan Holloway (much to Roger Sterling’s chagrin).
Although, I have to say, I am loving the modern-day interpretation of her as a Swimming With Sharks-type character, portrayed by Jacob Crumbine —and the inventive “How to be a Perfect Secretary” mini-film done by Sabina Maschi.
Jacob’s interpretation shows a deep understanding of Joan’s inner workings, while Sabina’s shows an excellent grasp of the era in which Mad Men operates: a repressed, yet seemingly happy time wherein everything had to be perfect.
There are also a few awesome portrayals of Pete the Slimeball, and one scene where Peggy gives birth. I kind of wish someone would have taken a stab at Kinsey (no, REALLY – someone stab that insufferable poseur fuck), though. Would have been interesting to see him in today’s era as a skinny jeans wearing, Parliament smoking hipster dude.
I CAN’T DECIDE WHICH ONE TO VOTE FOR. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!
So, dear readers, I’m leaving it up to you. Visit AMCTV , choose wisely, and make me proud.
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Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted September 6, 2008
THIS BRA CUTS
Maidenforms & Mad Men Minutes: Something Doesn't Fit
SO IF YOU COULDN'T GUESS BY THE TITLE ALONE, this week’s episode features BRAS. In spades.
You’ll actually find yourself tiring of funny boob puns, and possibly a little disgusted at the way men in a position of (perceived) power can act toward women that they feel pose a threat to that power.
I’m talking, of course, about Peggy, who seems to be getting bolder by the day, but let me back up a bit: Playtex wants to see some ads from Sterling Cooper that will rival the current Maidenform campaign. NOTE: for those of you too young to remember, Maidenform used to run a campaign that featured women in exotic locales and dream sequences conquering the world and stuff. The popular campaign was more fantasy than hard sell. So of course, the guys are more than happy to oblige, with Peggy resigning herself to the duty of copywriter. However, before she realizes what’s going on, the overzealous boys begin to shut her out of the whole process.
Meanwhile, Don’s still bored at home and banging Bobbie on the side. But this week there’s an interesting twist: we find out that she’s got kids. Teenage kids. That go to boarding school and otherwise avoid their parents. Can you even BEGIN to imagine how fucked up they must be? Ho-lee shit. This new info sends Don into a bit of a tailspin; he’s only competent when he’s totally in control, and not knowing about these kids, no matter how far away or grown up, means that Bobbie has the power to withhold info from him. So what would any Type-A control freak do when his mistress doesn’t spill her guts all over his bare chest after sex? Well, he goes off the kinky deep end, that’s what! There is a visible struggle between two dominant types here and it’s…um…
Oh! I forgot to tell you: We meet Duck’s sort-of estranged family. The ex-wife brings the kids and the dog to visit (and to tell Dear Old Dad the news that Mom’s getting remarried, and oh, can you take your damn dog back too?). The cold, hard facts hit Duck pretty hard and he considers returning to the bottle for a minute, but then decides to ditch his dog instead. I hate people who do this to animals. “Go, run free! Return to the wild!” How the fuck is a dog supposed to return to the wild in New York fucking City? And you call yourself sober…
Anyway, Pete’s working on Clearasil, and Peggy’s got a suggestion for a campaign: Two fresh-faced teens go to prom, with their former skin problems not even registering on their minds. Pete suggests “Thanks, Clearasil” as the tagline, and the “Are you serious with that line?” look on her face is priceless, as I’ve been down this bumpy road myself many a time. Naturally, Pete thinks it’s genius and plans to sell it in to his father-in-law at his Memorial Day barbeque. Of course. Because he’s Pete and everyone else is…well, everyone else.
Apparently, while all this drama is swirling around, Kinsey the poseur, er, I mean writer, is bursting at the seams with another brilliant Hemingway-esque idea that won’t make you gag on pretense: women have two sides, one Jackie Kennedy and one Marilyn Monroe. DING DING DING, Kinsey, COME ON DOWN, we have a winner in the GAME OF OBVIOUS. You win…Don Draper’s blessing? Meh.
Peggy is assigned to write the copy, and asks why she wasn’t around when everyone was coming up with this idea. The guys pretty much cop to hanging out at a bar and sorting out a gem from all the bullshit, and that she wouldn’t have wanted to be in the bar anyway. You know, because women and alcohol don’t really make for any kind of a good time. You can tell she’s pissed about being left out, and this kind of crap continues throughout the episode. But don’t worry, she gets the last word in the best possible way.
Draper and Duck have been ordered to bury the hatchet on the American Airlines kerfuffle (I’ve wanted to use that word all week!). But instead of going to lunch like Roger asked them to, they have a quick talk for a few minutes before Don ducks out (heh) to bang Bobbie all afternoon. This guy’s pecker is insatiable – you’d think he’d at least be able to feign interest in Betty once in a while. I think if she knew even half of what he was up to, her head would explode out of sheer jealousy.
Time to cast the bra models! No wonder the office is pretty much deserted except for the secretaries – oh, and Peggy, who’s been left out again. She’s steaming and so am I.
Pete’s even in on it, and I don’t remember Playtex being one of his accounts. Naturally, he schmoozes one of the girls on the way out and follows her home like a lost puppy in spite of his efforts to act all suave. So this is how it’s gonna be, eh, Pete? You’re basically going to knock up every chick EXCEPT your wife. Okay. Good plan.
Peggy talks to Joan about being left out of everything, and Joan tells her to “stop dressing like a little girl.” Which, yeah, I have to agree. Clothes say a lot, and hers say, “Let’s play dollies!”
It’s at this point that the Playtex guys decide to entertain the SC boys at a strip joint, and Peggy overhears the location (but again, isn’t invited). So she puts on her best slut gear and meets the boys. This pisses Pete off, because it’s a power play, even though it’s one that makes Peggy more uncomfortable than anyone else. I mean, really, who wants to hang out with their boss over some $5 wings and titty tassels? You can take THAT job and shove it (but let me get outta here first, because I don’t want to watch).
Remember how I said Don gets all kinky? He’s got this thing where he tells Bobbie not to talk, but she keeps talking anyway, and she says something about how she heard all about the full Don Draper treatment and then teases him about having “a reputation.” HA HA, Don’s a slut. I find this hysterical, but Chisel Cheeks doesn’t. In fact, he ties her up, gets dressed and says, “I told you to stop talking.” Dayum. That’s pretty harsh, but not harsh enough.
The next morning, as Don’s shaving, daughter Sally watches and says, “I won’t talk while you shave. I don’t want you to cut yourself.” The same words, this time from his sweet, innocent daughter. It’s enough to make him (and me) sick.
End credits. I need another fucking drink.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted September 1, 2008
THE WRECKAGE
It Must Be Monday! 'Mad Men' Minutes on 'The New Girl'
Wow. Uh, I take back everything I said last week about being bored. Except for the funny stuff.
We find out a shit ton of information this week – and it’s about time. Naturally, the show starts off with a slow simmer, but quickly turns to a boil in order to wrap up old business and head on to the new stuff. So hold on to your hats, folks, this is going to be a short but bumpy ride.
First off, the Good Doctor (that’s what I’m calling this guy until I get a name) has proposed to Joan, prompting her to fill her own shoes in order to prepare for her wedding and all that. Guess she wasn’t bluffing to Roger about knowing the day he’d ask and stuff – clearly, Joan understands The Game and how to play. Enter Jane, the hot new secretary all the guys can’t get enough of – i.e., the new Joan. Not much happens with Jane in this episode, aside from the viewers learning right off the bat that she can issue a put-down with Joan-like acidity: “If you need help finding a dead file, please let me know; otherwise, pitch your tents elsewhere.” HOLY SHIT. I want to see her and Peggy get into a curt-ness fight, for real. It would be snip-tastic and totally bitchy, and I would burn up my notebook trying to write it all down for future reference.
So, away from the snit-fest, another interesting development is taking place – the fact that Pete and Trudy still can’t seem to get pregnant. I actually feel a bit sorry for Trudy, knowing what I do about Peggy and all, since it’s clear from that little piece of info that it’s Trudy – not Pete – that's unable to procreate. Trudy tries everything to get Pete to knock her up before finally seeing a doctor; at one point, right after placing a ton of nudie mags in the bathroom for Pete, I am totally sure that she’s going to cross paths with her hubby with a shrunken head in her hands or something. But we all know the inevitable answer, and by the end of the episode, so does a very disappointed Trudy, who looks around her lovely apartment and asks Pete, “If we can’t have a baby, then what is all this for?” Le sigh. Don’t depress me while I’m drinking, Trudy. Booze is a downer, and you’ve got me guzzling.
All of this, however, is small potatoes when compared to the shit Dashing Don’s landed his chiseled jaw in this week. Bobbie is still pursuing him, under the guise of wanting to celebrate the start of Jimmy’s new show. Seems the Utzes let that jackass bend the terms of his contract to do it, which, hey, good for you, ya douchebag. So Don goes to the restaurant for drinks with Bobbie and runs into RACHEL MENKEN, who is married, which makes me sad, because she’s way more interesting than Bobbie can ever be. She walks away from Don and only allows herself the briefest of glances, which must set Don off, because Don tries to lure Bobbie up to her beachfront property to…well, you know. And if you don’t, then this is not the show for you.
Anyway, I said “tries” because they never make it up there. Fact is, they’ve been “celebrating” a bit too much. More so than I’ve been using quotation marks. Bobbie sticks her head out the window like a true bitch and says “I feel so good,” to which Don responds, “I don’t feel a thing.” Bobbi then leans into Don and he gets distracted and swerves off the road, and this is the point where I go, “Heh. Feel THAT, Don?”
All this excitement earns Don no nookie and a sweet DUI charge, which he sure as hell can’t tell Betty about. He sure as hell can’t make bail, either. What a night. Guess who he calls? Peggy, who makes the bail and puts up Bobbie for a day or so until her black eye heals.
Meanwhile, Don’s trying to sneak in the house, but Betty’s not having it, since she figures he’s out having all the extramarital fun while she’s stuck at home waiting. He makes up a lie about having high blood pressure, taking meds for it and then mixing them with booze and wrecking the car. Ladies, be honest: which is worse here? Cheating or LYING about cheating and WRECKING THE CAR to boot? I couldn’t decide, so I had another drink.
Back at Peggy’s place, Bobbie can’t figure out why Peggy’s being so hospitable for no apparent reason. She keeps pressing, but Peggy’s not giving it up and I wish she would because I have a feeling I’m about to get some valuable info here. I’m right, by the way.
Turns out that while Peggy was in denial about the birth of her son, Don was trying to figure out where the hell she disappeared to, since they’ve got makeshift dildos and lipstick to sell to women and she’s the only one who knows how to do it. So he finds her and gives her a bit of the ol’ Whitman wisdom (like what I did there? Wit and wisdom? Heh): “It never happened.” Oh, Don. I’m surprised at you. Have you ever given birth or witnessed one? It’s not something you’ll soon forget.
Bobbie leaves Peggy with some advice, too: “You can’t be a man, and you shouldn’t try. Be a woman. When it’s done right, it’s very powerful business.” Oh, really? Like, hmm…I don’t know…FLIPPING A FUCKING CAR powerful?
Later, the Barretts strut into Don’s office to thank him for the whole Utz contract thing, which means that Bobbie’s probably in for a few more episodes. Which also means that Don is going to keep living dangerously. Hope Peggy’s up for a trip to the morgue next week.
After a long, tense day, Don comes home to a salt-less dinner; thanks to his BS about the high blood pressure, Betty’s no longer serving it to him. Wow, now there is literally NO SPICE in his marriage. Way to get literal, writers of Mad Men. But hell, I’ll forgive it this time, since they’re starting to give up some of the goods.
End credits, Viagra and Just For Men commercials roll. Can you see Don Draper giving a moving Carousel-like speech to the Viagra people? “These guys are old, and dying…to be recognized as the virile, experienced men they are.” Now THERE’S an ad I’d set down the remote for.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted August 25, 2008
A BIG YAWN
'Mad Men' Minutes: Where's My Redemption from Boring?
Okay, this episode focuses a bit more on Peggy, which I like, because there’s no more interesting and unpredictable character on this show.
Yeah, yeah, Don’s got the murky past, but if you pay attention closely enough, you’ll realize he’s very subtly handing you all the answers, which I’ll detail in a minute.
But first – has anyone else noticed that Joan Holloway seems to have given herself a bit of an (unnecessary) upgrade up front? Holy cow, her boobs are like watermelons. Is this doctor boyfriend that she mentioned in the first episode a plastic surgeon? I have to wonder.
Back to Don. It’s Sunday morning, and Don wants some action. Things are kinda hot…and then the kids come in, all, “Mommy! Mommy!” So we then see a shot of gin being poured by Sally for Don. Because spoiled mood = all-day bender. Don and Betty get wasted.
It’s in this episode that we’re finally a little more privy to the kids’ lifestyles – and they are NOT wholesome. As the episode progresses, you’ll hear Sally’s inappropriate sex talk and see Bobby act out and straight-up lie about stuff. It’s weird territory, people. I hope you came prepared with a Tom Collins or two for yourself.
Bobby is particularly in need of discipline in this episode, and Don, despite Betty’s persistent requests for spankings (not for herself, of course, but that would have been INFINITELY more interesting and much less predictable) is apprehensive. Early on, I bet that Don was beaten often by his own father, and naturally, that ends up being true. See what I mean about handing out the clues? The guy’s not an open book, but the best pages are definitely already dog-eared for you.
But! Peggy (or, rather, her crazy, way-too-religious family) saves the day again. There’s a hot new priest hanging out at the church, and it makes things a little more interesting for Peggy, who’s not really into the whole Catholic scene, seeing as how she just had a married man’s baby and all. Catholics sort of frown upon (read: shun) women who “seduce” married men. So you can see why she’s not really all that into it until the hot guy comes around (that harlot!).
The hot priest asks Peggy for presentation help for Palm Sunday. Meanwhile, Duck is arranging to pitch American Airlines, schmoozing a client at a bar and ordering up a call girl named Vicky for him, who immediately poses as his wife when Roger Sterling walks in. Later, Pete fills Roger in on the fact that Vicky’s not just his girl, but EVERYONE’S girl, so Roger immediately makes a date with her for himself. Although, he’s not ashamed to hit on any of the guys’ wives, either – remember last season when he got too close for comfort with Betty? Mm-hmm.
So Vicky comes over, and Roger tells her, “I have to tell you, I’m not in great health,” to which she replies, “Don’t worry, no one ever dies doing this.” And I so hoped he would, so that SOMETHING INTERESTING WOULD HAPPEN. He’s fine. They go out to dinner and that’s that. Bo-ring.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Barrett pops by to see her favorite reason to commit adultery. That’s Don, in case you missed last week’s recap, or can’t keep all your Mad Men adulterers straight. There are many; I know. But this time, it’s business first: she’s got a great idea for a Candid Camera-type show for Jimmy to host, but he’s gotta get out of the Utz contract to do it. Don suggests talking up the opportunity to the Schillings, explaining that the show would make Jimmy more popular, and, in turn, boost sales of Utz Chips. Done! Oh, Don, you shrewd motherfucker. Earn that extra-marital nookie!
It’s Palm Sunday, and Bobby has burned himself on the griddle, which means a fun family trip to the ER! Except that Don just got a call from Duck, and the American pitch is scheduled for Good Friday, so they have six days to pull it together, and he’s gotta go in now. Betty makes him take Sally with, much to Joan’s chagrin, as she’ll not only be typing, answering calls and making copies, but babysitting and fielding questions about her enormous boobage too. What a great way to spend a Sunday.
Fast forward to Good Friday. It’s time for the American pitch. Everyone’s dressed to the nines. Everything’s ready, and then Duck walks in, head hung in shame. American fired that guy they were schmoozing, so, uh, there’ll be a pitch, but it’ll be kinda pointless, guys. Don is pissed that they resigned Mohawk, because now they’re out that money in addition to not gaining this new client. Roger tries to argue that “old business is just old business,” but Don gives him this WTF side eye, and I’m inclined to side with him. I like my funds secure and my money un-funny, thanks. So during the commercial I was guzzling booze and muttering “Duck Sucks” under my breath. I was the only one who thought it was funny. But that’s okay.
Back in Brooklyn, everyone loves the new priest, Father Gill. And Gill takes a shine to Peggy, which is just too much for Peggy’s sister. And, as good a person as she believes herself to be, she connives with the best of ‘em – by going to “confession” where she vents her frustration with Peggy’s bad choices to Father Gill. See, these are the times where I’m glad I just have a brother. That way, when Easter Sunday rolls around, a hot priest doesn’t hand me an Easter egg “for the little one” and leave me standing there all embarrassed and shit. Which is exactly what happened to Peggy – in front of the whole neighborhood.
End credits. Color me angry, and kind of bored. Although I AM excited to see what Peggy will do to her sister next week – poisoned scrambled eggs, anyone?
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted August 18, 2008
THE ART OF LYING
Something New: "Miz J's 'Mad Men' Minutes. Episode: The Benefactor.
play a little game when I watch Mad Men: every time someone takes a drink or acts drunk, I take a little sip of my own. Because I’m an alcoholic and a masochist, it puts me in the spirit of the show.
The game works out well for me tonight, because five minutes into the episode, there’s already a boozing incident and I’ve got a jug of Long Islands in the fridge that aren’t gonna drink themselves. I’ll be amazed if I can still type at the end of this one.
We start off with the taping of an Utz’s Chips spot, starring comic and all-around douchebag Jimmy Barrett. This guy’s sooooo talented, he can tell fat jokes and humiliate his client’s wife. Naturally, no one laughs, and the situation reaches epic proportions back at the Sterling Cooper offices. Which means more drinking for both the characters and myself. Mmm, cirrhosis.
At this point, I’d tell you all about Betty and that cute young thing that rides horses with her and how he’s got a huge crush on her even though he’s engaged, but I just did. Now let’s get back to the action, since she won’t act on it, no matter how many ways Young Dude tries to make it happen.
Barrett’s caused such a commotion that everyone rushes to Don’s office (I’d be so sick of that job by now if I were him) to see if he can ooze his way into everyone’s hearts and put this whole mess behind the agency to save the account. And Dashing Don rarely disappoints. Um, except when he’s cheating on his wife. Or stealing a fellow soldier’s identity after his untimely death. Or pushing away his emotionally fragile younger brother to the point where he commits suicide. Or telling his kids how to mix him up a perfect Tom Collins. Or…well, never mind. That’s really enough for now, isn’t it?
It’s payday at Sterling Cooper and Harry accidentally opens Ken’s check instead of his own. So now he knows that Ken’s making $100 more per week, and he calls his wife to tell her all about it. Being pregnant, sick and cranky, she first offers him a few suggestions to help him figure out how to make that money, but when he knocks everything down, she basically tells him to do something about it, or let her kneel at the porcelain god in peace and quiet. Because really? If I’d been all sick like that, I wouldn’t have even picked up the phone because HE DID THIS TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHbluhpuke!
Back in Don’s office, the crisis planning is over, and everyone walks out feeling good about Don batting clean up again. I assume they’re going back to their individual offices to drink, so I gulp one down too. On the way out, though, Sterling stops Don to tell him that his secretary Lois had no clue where he was. Up to this point, she’s been awful anyway, so it’s no real surprise that he tells her to “stick to the switchboard.”
While Don’s trying to figure a way out of well, everything, Harry calls a friend at CBS for job leads. No such luck, but the friend tips him off about a show he’s got that they can’t get a sponsor for. Harry finds a potential sponsor in Belle Jolie, since the show revolves around a thorny women’s issue. This move moves Harry up. More drinking for me!
Another day, another shoot with Barrett. This time, Don catches Barrett's wife/manager Bobbie heading out to the Copa, and Don offers to drive her there. Of course, they pull over and cheat on their spouses first.
Once home, Betty surprises Don with his watch – repaired and engraved. I think I see him feeling bad about the other chick for a split second, but it passes and he heads upstairs to call her and ask her and Barrett to have dinner with him, Betty and the Utzes, in order to apologize and set things right. This guy mixes business and pleasure like I mix gin and soda – in one delicious, overpowering, intoxicating balance. Mmm, another drink for me.
Um, where the hell is Peggy? Two lines in the background does not work for me, because I have to know why her baby was taken away.
Naturally, at the dinner, Don manages to smooth things over. I won’t tell you how, because I was actually surprised at the vile way he did it, and I will not repeat it here. At least not until I’ve had too much to drink. Which should be soon.
So Don puts his hand up Barrett’s wife’s skirt and tells her to make an apology happen or he’ll ruin Barrett. Problem solved, even though Betty’s out there working double time to charm this pig over. I really wish she’d bang the Young Dude. Especially after the car ride home, when she cries tears of joy over what a great team she and Don make. Wow, Don, I feel like an asshole FOR you. And that calls for another drink. See you next week, cats.
Miz J, who works in advertising, has tons of opinions and a big mouth to broadcast them across the globe; however, the Internet saves her the trouble of yelling. Check out her blog at Miz J.Permalink
Posted August 11, 2008
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