‘NOT GETTING ALONG’

Kim & Kris Soon Kaput?

SINCE NOTHING, WE REPEAT, NOTHING ABOUT THE KARDASHIAN-HUMPHRIES affair can be construed as authentic, we advise you to take the latest whispers with a grain of salt too. Not that that’ll stop us from repeating them!

Us Weekly declares that the two-month-old marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries is already strained, with Kim peeved about her hulking husband’s laconic days while she marches to the demands of her Svengali mother.

“She told him he needs to do something productive…He needs to get off his ass, like, yesterday,” a quote — “family friend” — told the tab. As for Humphries, he is “not drinking the Kardashian Kool-Aid, and it’s causing major problems,” another source reported.

Cracks in the storyline of America’s fake royal couple were already visible during the E!‘s two-part broadcast of the couple’s wedding. Kim’s sister’s Kourtney relentlessly tormented Kris and accused him of having ulterior motives for marrying her sister; Kris came off as an affable lughead who nevertheless wasn’t keen on being led around by his nose. Then on Monday the couple were in the studio at Dancing With The Stars, where wags complained the two weren’t affectionate enough. The couple was also spotted getting cozy over the weekend while celebrating Kim’s 31st birthday.

Even if this marriage breaks up, there’s always a silver lining: the inevitable E! divorce special.