SNAP!

It’s L’Officiel: Kim & Kanye Get Steamy For The Cameras

By Elizabeth C.

OH LA LA! Here’s Kim and Kanye feigning getting sweaty for the cover of the French men’s magazine L’Officiel Hommes. Or maybe they’re actually doing the dirty. Or maybe they got aroused while pretending for the cameras. Yep, that’s it. They got orgasmic because of the cameras.

We gotta come up with another phrase for “fame whores” because Kimye is turning it into a cliché. Headline harlots? Click trollops? Neither quite has the ring as fame ho. How about whores for cash? Because the truth is every time they flash some flesh these two laugh all the way to their Swiss bank accounts. Baby Kimye will be well provided for. No hand-me-downs for Kitten!! That’s the name I’ve anointed her until Kimye announces the real “K” name.

Too bad the baby is going to be a girl. I mean, personally I’d prefer a girl over a boy any day. But if they were having a boy they could have arranged his marriage in utero to Jay & Bey’s Blue Ivy. They could have ridden that synergy up to Mars! Now the two girls will inevitably become BFF — ‘best frenemies forever.’ God help Kimye if Kitten grows up to be prettier; Jay is not going to share the throne.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. And though Kitten hasn’t even arrived we know that mommy risked everything by actually using her body as a breeding lab. No fake baby weight for her; Kimmy’s water weight is the real deal. “They’re over the moon,” a source tells Us Weekly. “Kanye always wanted a girl.” Of course he did. So he could play dress-up with her.