SANDY SURVIVOR

It’s A Miracle Of — Antiobiotics? Jersey Shore‘s Seaside House Unscathed By Sandy

By Karen Malmquist

NOT SINCE NOAH’S ART HAS THE THE WORLD read such harrowing taleS of impending doom. Yet while Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc up and down the Northeast, the devastation really hit Seaside Heights, New Jersey. But not to worry: no juice heads or gorillas’ blowouts were harmed in the storm. At least, no famous ones.
Perhaps it was the tarnished celebrity power attached to the house, but the somewhat famous Jersey Shore house came out unscathed after the worst of Sandy blew through. Some may see this as a lucky coincidence, but those who know better understand that this is a sign of immortality. That the shore house stands untouched represents the show’s significance among the cultural abyss that has become MTV: The numerous antibiotics the cast has taken over the years has somehow turned into a fortifying force field.

The show’s cast took to Twitter to express their grief over the damage Sandy did to Seaside and their hometowns. Sammi and Vinny seemed the most upset, tweeting about local heroes and the wreck that their towns were left in, while Pauly D was really hurt that Nicole’s front porch from her mini pregnancy apartment on the boardwalk was ruined. “Can’t Believe #Sandy Ruined @snooki’s PooOorchh !!!!,” he wrote. “Where Am I Gonna Kick It At Now ??”

Well, he could kick it at his own place, seeing as now that the show is officially over, they wouldn’t be “kicking it” at Nicole’s Seaside pad anytime soon anyway.

Tuesday was a sad day indeed for beachgoers to see what was left after Sandy passed through, but if the Shore house standing strong is any indication, Seaside will be up and running and ready for a new set of guidos to tear through it in no time.

Karen Malmquist is a senior at La Salle University, and the head writer and star of In Other News, a comedy series airing in Philadelphia.