APPALLING LACK OF POISE

Grumpy Queen Elizabeth Picks Her Nails, Falls Downs On Job

Staff

YOU’D THINK WITH ALL THE PRIVILEGES THE EMPIRE PROVIDES Queen Elizabeth would shake herself awake and stand salute for her British Olympians.

No doubt the 86-year-old Queen was up past her bedtime. But the opening festivities of the 2012 London Olympics proved a bit too much for England’s reigning monarch who wore a dour expression most of the night — and was caught picking her fingernails when her country’s atheletes entered the Olympic stadium.

“The Queen wants to go home. Someone should take her home,” tweeted David Corn, the D.C. editor of Mother Jones.

“damn the queen looks pissed off,” Marco Afzelius opined. “whats wrong your highness, got a stick up your ass ? lol its the Olympics for god sake’s.”

“Queen Elizabeth obviously hates the Olympics,” deadpanned Jono Goorvich.

“DIMBLEBOT CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY THAT THE “QUEEN’S” CUTICLES ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN “TEAM GB,” tweeted one of the Queen’s robotic loyal servants.

And Sophie Grace Nicles summed up the entire spectacle with a succinct: “Conclusion: England is weird, the queen is grouchy, Serbian athletes are hot, and I still hate Michael Phelps.”

I suppose Her Majesty believed she had done her duty earlier — allowing her likeness to arrive via parachute in a helicopter accompanied by none other than “James Bond.”

Only 15 more days to go!