WHO’S THE DADDY

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Kourtney Kardashian Slammed With Paternity Suit By Male Model

By Karen Malmquist

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER D-BAG trying to leech off the royal Kardashian family.

As we’ve all heard, a “model” named Michael Girgenti is claiming he’s the father of 3-year-old Mason Dash Disick, and now he’s filed a paternity suit against Kourtney Kardashian. Back in March, in a desperate bid for publicity, Girgenti told In Touch Weekly that he and Kourtney had a tryst in Miami, exactly nine months before Mason’s birth on December 14, 2009.

Girgenti is demanding joint custody of the boy as well as DNA tests to prove he’s the father.

LITTLE USHER IS RECOVERING

Usher Retains Custody Of Two Sons After Near-Drowning Accident

AT LEAST FOR NOW, USHER RETAINS CUSTODY OF THE TWO SONS HE SHARES WITH ex-wife Tameka Raymond.

A Fulton County judge in Atlanta allowed the famous singer to maintain primary custody of Usher, 5, and Naviyd, 4. Usher’s ex was seeking custody after the eldest boy nearly drowned Monday evening when his arm got caught in a pool drain. The boy remains hospitalized although he’s reportedly laughing and eating.

Tameka Raymond, 42, sought the emergency hearing claiming that the singer is away from home 85 percent of the time due to work commitments. “I’m not in the know of what’s going on with my kids. I don’t know where my kids are, who they’re with,” she testified. “I can’t even speak with my kids when they’re with him.”

She also testified that the singer’s pool has no fence or proper covering. Her attorney told the Read more →

WHACK

What Do You Get When You Cross John Stamos & Butter? Riot Fest

By Miz J

GOING TO RIOT FEST? Bring some biscuits — no, not to chuck at hipsters. They’re sculpting a butter statue.

Of whom? Well, the dairy masterminds are torn between John Stamos, Oderus Urungus and Andrew W.K. So they’re leaving the decision up to you. Personally, we’re casting our votes for Uncle Jesse (who’s leadihg by hundreds!), but if you disagree, you can vote every day, up until August 12. Make sure you do so the Chicago way: “early and often.”

IT’S NOT YOU — IT’S HIM

Matt Damon Tells BET: Obama Dumped Me

By Elizabeth Coady

TRUST US, MATT DAMON, YOU’LL LOOK BACK ONE DAY AND BE GLAD THAT HE DUMPED YOU.

In an interview with BET, the Hollywood A-lister confessed that Obama has dumped him. “He broke up with me,” Damon told the publication. “we no longer see eye-to-eye,” he added.

But the star of Elysium, a sci-fi flick about a future dystopia where the rich rule, rightly rationalizes why that’s probably not such a bad thing.

ALMOST FAMOUS

AdrienneBalon.com

Deflating Adrienne Bailon

By Karen Malmquist

IF THERE’S A CURE FOR FOOT-IN-MOUTH DISEASE, The Real star Adrienne Bailon needs one.

As she and her co-stars await a pick-up for the new talk show, the former Cheetah Girl is conveniently keeping herself in the gossip headlines. A few weeks ago, it was the fake boyfriend she created to get Rob Kardashian to leave her alone after the break-up. Yesterday, she said Britney Spears “can’t hold a conversation.” Today? The people at Disney compared her to a porn star.

Anything for ratings, right?

ASKING QUESTIONS

Leah Remini Files Missing Person Report On Wife Of Scientology Leader

By Elizabeth Coady

ACTRESS LEAH REMINI HAS TURNED HER FEUD WITH THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY UP TO BLAST, filing a missing person report on the wife of church leader David Miscavige.

The former star of The King of Queens noisily exited the church in July after spending most of her life as a member. She quit after being ” ‘blacklisted” and subjected to years of ‘interrogations’ and “thought modifications,” in part because she continued to ask about Shelly,” MSN reported.

Shelly Miscavige, the wife of the church’s leader Miscavige, has not been seen in public for six years, though the church has previously said that she is not missing. Remini’s tiff with the church reportedly began at the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes when she reportedly asked a church spokesman why Shelly didn’t attend.

WON’T BE ‘COMPLICIT’

Snowden’s Email Provider Lavabit Shutters Doors Citing Government Interference

By Elizabeth Coady

EDWARD SNOWDEN’S REPORTED EMAIL PROVIDER LAVABIT abruptly shut down today citing interference from the U.S. government.

In a letter posted to its homepage, the company’s owner Ladar Levinson wrote that he was “forced to make a difficult decision: to become complicit in crimes against the American people or walk away from nearly ten years of hard work by shutting down Lavabit.”

BUYING INFLUENCE?

Silicon Valley Elites Enrich Democratic Senate Candidate Cory Booker

By Elizabeth Coady

WITH JUST ONE ONE WEEK TO GO BEFORE NEW JERSEYANS CHOOSE NOMINEES FOR THE U.S. Senate race, the New York Times informed readers of a sweet million-dollar deal that Silicon Valley elites gifted to Newark Mayor Cory Booker.

Booker, a rising star in Democratic politics, has received an undisclosed amount of money from Google’s Eric Schmidt and other influential investors for his “video curating” service known as Waywire. From The New York Times:

DON’T TOY WITH HER

Kate Upton Wants You To Feel Sorry For Her

By Elizabeth Coady

BEING DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS IS A MIXED BLESSING, OR SO MODEL KATE UPTON WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE.

Looking every bit the bombshell, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model adorns the cover of the September issue of Elle. But don’t make the mistake in thinking that her life is a bed of roses, or maybe it’s just that the roses have thorns.

“People deal with models like they are children,” the Michigan native laments. “They think they can pull one over on you. It’s actually funny. I’m always like, I’m about to pull something on you, and you’re so focused on thinking I’m dumb you’re not even going to know.”

ART POP

Lady Gaga Gets Naked & Primal for Marina Abramovic Institute

By Elizabeth Coady

SO I WATCHED THIS VIDEO OF GAGA practicing the Abramovic Method AND now I feel all tingly and in touch with the world. Or maybe it’s just fear awaking my adrenalin.

Gaga goes naked and primal to help kickstart the Marina Abramovic Institute, a future space that will be “dedicated to the presentation and preservation of long durational work.”