ICE ICE BABY

Real Housewives Of Orange County: Dumber & Dumbest

By Karen Malmquist

TAMRA BARNEY DELIVERS NEW MEAN TO THE phrase “watch your tongue” on Real Housewives of Orange County, but if her defense, she did it in the name of vodka.

The ladies are learning to deal with each other in Whistler, and Lydia hopes some of the “Canadian magic” will rub off on everyone’s bad energy. You know, so she doesn’t completely regret taking this trip in the first place.

Tamra arrives at Vicki’s room, and the two pop open their own fun-sized bottles of wine while complaining about how awful it is that Lauri has pushed herself into the group again. They’re both dreading dinner that night, because

CELEBRATE

Get Your Licks In: It’s National Ice Cream Day

By Elizabeth Coady

HERE’S A DELICIOUS REASON TO GREET THE DAY WITH A SMILE: Today is National Ice Cream Day, a contrived holiday celebrating the creamy sweetness that clogs arteries while being licking good.

You can thank Ronald Reagan for giving a national nod to the treat. Back in 1984, the president proclaimed that the third Sunday of July to be ‘National Ice Cream Day.’ He then urged us all to “observe these events with appropriate ceremonies and activities.”

Conveniently just in time for the holiday, Baskin-Robbins reveals a study that purports to connect your favorite flavor with your hedonic personality traits. And we’ve got shocking news about lovers of Rainbow Sherbert lovers and mint chocolate chip.

SCUM

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Joe Vs. The Volcano

By Karen Malmquist

LOOKING MORE LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL FIGHT THAN a family bonding session, the Real Housewives of New Jersey head to the classiest place they’ve ever visited to duke it out and nearly kill each other. Their parents parents must be so proud.

Joe and Melissa are packing for the weekend family therapy trip, and Melissa worries how Joe is going to be with Teresa and her husband. Meanwhile, Teresa and her own Joe get ready for what is sure to a disastrous getaway. With the way Teresa and Melissa talk about each other behind their backs, it’s sounds like an immature crush than hatred.

R.I.P.

Helen Thomas, Grande Dame Of Washington Press Corps, Dies At 92

By Elizabeth Coady

SHE WAS THE FIRST LADY OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS, the feisty grande dame of Washington scribes. Now, at age 92, trailblazing journalist Helen Thomas is dead.

She had covered Washington unawed by presidents or anyone else.

Thomas died Saturday at home in Washington, three years after abruptly retiring from Heart News following release of a videotape on which she declared Jews ought “to get the hell out of Palestine.’’ The comment was in response to a question from a blogger seeking comment for Jewish heritage day.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

Obama Delivers ‘Context’ Of Black Anger Over Zimmerman Case

PRESIDENT OBAMA STEPPED FORWARD TO explain to Americans the “context” of black Americans’ rage over the George Zimmerman case.

Suggesting that Trayvon Martin may not have died had he not been profiled by George Zimmerman, the President spoke of the reality that black men face in America: hearing car doors click as they approach outside; being shadowed inside stores; noticing women clutch their pocketbooks when they enter elevators.

“That happened to me, at least before I was a Senator,” Obama said.

THE ‘SCHINDLERJUDEN’

Original ‘Schindler’s List’ Being Auctioned On eBay

By Elizabeth Coady

A REMARKABLE PIECE OF WORLD WAR TWO HISTORY — THE ORIGINAL AND AUTHENTIC ‘SCHINDLER’S LIST’ — IS CURRENTLY UP FOR SALE ON EBAY.

The 14-page list typed on onion skin paper, dates to April 18, 1945 and contains the names of 801 men, according to the auction listing. Gary Zimet and Eric Gazin of AuctionCause.com are selling the list on behalf of its anonymous owner who lives in Israel, and who purchased it from the nephew of Schindler’s accountant in 2011.

Three other surviving copies are currently owned by Yad Vashem, the Israeli Holocaust Memorial Museum, and the US Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C.

“This exceedingly rare original Schindler’s List is the only one ever on the market,” the eBay listing reads. “It emanates from the family of Itzhak Stern, Schindler’s accountant and right hand man (played by Ben Kingsley in the Academy Award-winning film). There are 3 others known which are in institutional hands.”

fRI-AWWW DAY

Awesome Vegan Firefighter Saves Tiny Lifeless Kitty

WE HEREBY BESTOW THE TITLE OF ‘SUPER AWESOME PUBLIC SERVANT’ to Cory Kalanick, theFresno, Cali. firefighter who revived a tiny kitten found laying lifeless inside a fire-damaged apartment.

Kalanick, a “eco-friendly vegan” and 10-year veteran of firefighting, caught the rescue on his helmet camera.

‘ANONYMOUS VS. ANONYMOUS’

New York Post

Liza Ghorbani: From Rock Star Reporter To Rock Star’s Baby Mama

By Elizabeth Coady

SHE WAS A ROCK STAR REPORTER, COVERING CELEBRITIES FOR high-profile publications like the New York Times and Rolling Stone. Now she’s reportedly a rock star’s baby mama.

New York media has outed Liza Ghorbani is the “anonymous” plaintiff who filed suit in Manhattan Family Court seeking $3 million from former Oasis member Liam Gallagher. The journalist and the rocker met when Ghorbani was assigned to hang out with Gallagher for a now-defunct NYT’s feature, “A Night Out With …”

“Was he her Wonderwall,” cracks the New York Daily News, alluding to the “hottest single of the last 20 years.

The New York Post broke the story yesterday. Now today The Guardian reports that Gallagher intends to sue the Post for revealing that he’s the alleged father.

THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE

‘The Fifth Estate’ Trailer Makes Compelling Pitch For WikiLeaks

By Elizabeth Coady

AMERICANS’ ATTENTION SPANS ARE NOTORIOUSLY SHORT, in large part because of the demands on our time, a plethora of entertainment choices, and our self-serving corporate media. We’re also collectively the most materialistic, self-absorbed and pleasure-seeking people on the planet, easily distracted by pretty things, pretty people, new toys, electronic bells and whistles.

The best way to get our attention? Deliver your idea or product using ploys and pizazz, and preferably through the lips of an actor. Which may be why the trailer for upcoming movie The Fifth Estate may prove more sales pitch for Julian Assange’ WikiLeaks than his feared propaganda.

PLASTIC CASTAWAY

Rex Features

A Heady Discovery

LOST YOUR HEAD?

Yes, there seems to be a lot of that going on these days. Just let your fingers tap around news sites on the web for the evidence. But in the case of the dummy head above, the loss was literal.