THAT’S WHACK

Buzzing: Lo’s Tweets, Da Brat’s New Beats & O.J.’s Bleats

By Miz J

WHOSE BIRTHDAY WAS IT YESTERDAY? Well, let’s see, there’s Ashley Tisdale, Monie Love, Jerry Hall, Larry David, Richard Petty, Wendy Schaal…that’s probably it, right? Maybe we’re forgetting someone?

Lindsay Lohan tweeted to HuffPo yesterday, from her happy coloring corner in rehab, to respond to their shout-out to same-birthday-haver Larry David.

CRACKED

Pretty Little Liars: Face Time

By Karen Malmquist

REMEMBER WHEN I HINTED THAT Ashley Marin might’ve killed Detective Wilden? Well, nevermind: I might be wrong. On Tuesday’s Pretty Little Liars, Melissa finally shows her true colors, and it’s actually terrifying to watch her care.

Mr. Fields is back in Rosewood, arriving home with only a duffle bag of stuff and still wearing his military uniform. He quietly says hi to his girls as Emily leaves for school.

Meanwhile, Caleb tells Hanna what her dad said about his gun going missing, and Hanna doesn’t believe her mom had anything to do with it. He warns her that if the police discover Wilden was shot with the same gun that was taken from Mr. Marin, Ashley will have some explaining to do.

THE JOKE’S ON WHO

Credit: LostAtEMinor.com

Andrew Mason Trolls Business America With ‘Hardly Workin’ Album

By Elizabeth Coady

IN SHORT ORDER, HE CREATED AN ONLINE COUPON COMPANY, LAUNCHED AN IP0, MADE A BILLION DOLLARS, THEN GOT FIRED. So what’s next for Groupon’s deposed CEO Andrew Mason?

Trolling the Internet — and maybe capitalist America?

Ousted from the company he helped founded after a “precipitious post-IPO stock decline,” Mason’s bank is still estimated to be about $200 million. That’s enough to dither the rest of his life away playing with his imaginary 20 cats, producing YouTube yoga videos, or releasing hokey how-to-get ahead instructional disguised as 80s pop songs.

THE CATCH

German Lingerie Firm Nakedly Capitalizes Off Snowden Spy Scandal

By Elizabeth Coady

HOW SEXY IS THE EDWARD SNOWDEN STORY, a tale about a renegade agent who outs his spymasters as the world’s real villains?

How about sexy enough to sell lingerie?

Blush, a German company is capitalizing on the international spy scandal riveting readers to news about Snowden and the National Security Agency. Talk about cheeky advertising!

In three ads depicting an exotic-looking, red-headed honey pot, the company touts its lingerie in obvious turns-of-phrase.

BURIED SECRETS

‘Missing Wife’ Turns Up Buried In Basement Wall 27 Years Later

By Elizabeth Coady

THE BODY OF A MISSING SCHOOL TEACHER WHO DISAPPEARED 27 YEARS AGO was found Friday sealed in a plastic container stashed behind a fake wall in a Poughkeepsie, N.Y. basement.

JoAnn Nichols was reported missing on Dec. 21, 1985. Her husband James Nichols told police that she had had left a typewritten letter the day before. Authorities claimed there was never any hint of foul play, and speculated that the 55-year-old had become “despondent” over the drowning death of her only child three years earlier.

WHO WILL STEP FORWARD?

Will Anybody Stand Up To Support Edward Snowden?

By Elizabeth Coady

EDWARD SNOWDEN REMAINS HOLED UP INSIDE Moscow’s Sheremetyevo airport waiting for one head of state to display the courage he evinced by revealing the “criminal” U.S. worldwide surveillance state.

So far, none of the 20 nations to which he’s applied have stepped up to offer Snowden asylum from the long arm of the U.S. It’s a testament to the imbalance of power that the U.S. holds internationally that no one will dare anger our so-called leaders.

Is it possible that the world was safer during the Cold War when the U.S.S.R. and the U.S. tempered each other’s hubris?

MILKING MAUDLIN

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Melissa’s Daddy Issues

By Karen Malmquist

WHILE TERESA AND MELISSA COULD NOT BE MORE DIFFERENT, THEY DO SHARE ONE THING IN COMMON: talking about how much they hate each other.

On Sunday’s Real Housewives of New Jersey, over breakfast they separately tell their significant others about their bad behavior at Gia’s party. Okay, I can’t be the only one who feels uncomfortable and annoyed with all this constant family drama. This isn’t The Sopranos!