‘COURAGE IS CONTAGIOUS’

Here’s The Transcript Of Glenn Greenwald’s Speech At the Socialism Conference In Chicago

GUARDIAN REPORTER GLENN GREENWALD delivered a rousing, impassioned and unbowed speech to the Socialism Conference in Chicago Friday night during which he praised Edward Snowden, lambasted actors who play “journalists on TV,” and mockingly praised the shy NSA agents who “scamper quickly under the kitchen counter” when the lights go on.

The Guardian reporter, who has been under fire for publishing revelations about the U.S. surveillance nation leaked by former NSA systems analyst Snowden,delivered his speech to conference attendees via Skype Friday night. The three-day conference drawing “hundreds of activities” from the U.S. and abroad, closes today. Greenwald’s speech was the highlight of the event. Here it is in its entirety.

EVEN STRAIGHT FRIENDS CAN CELEBRATE

Bert & Ernie Quietly Celebrate The Death Of DOMA

By Elizabeth Coady

THE NEW YORKER NOTED THE NATION’S GROUNDBREAKING CHANGE in laws regulating same-sex marriages with an image of Sesame Street puppets Bert & Ernie snuggling as they watch the Supreme Court presumably hand down this week’s historic decisions.

Because we humans are an argumentative lot, debate has broken over whether the cover denigrates gay couples or is, in fact, one of the “most awesome covers of all time.”

‘LET THERE BE VOMIT’

The Show With Vinny: Tyler The Creator Manifests Puke

By Karen Malmquist

TAKING THE WHOLE ”UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL” THING TO new levels, Thursday’s The Show with Vinny starts out with our host greeting us from inside his shower. He wasn’t kidding when he said “This sure as hell ain’t Piers Morgan.”

Iggy Azalea and Tyler, The Creator are on the show this week, and Vinny tells the cameras that he’s been a fan of Iggy, who’s up first, ever since her first single Murda Bizness dropped. I have no idea what he just said, but based on the loud bleeping that just happened, he said a very dirty word.

YOUTUBE SENSATION

And Now For Fri-Aww Day: Big Bro Beagle Pushes Baby Sis To Park

By Elizabeth Coady

HERE’S MY QUESTION: WHAT KIND OF CRACKROCKCANDY ARE THEY GIVING THIS POOCH TO PERFORM?

This is Maymo, YouTube sensation and proud “lemon beagle” pushing his baby sis in a miniature supermarket cart to the playground. Maymo is obviously a very proud pooch as his wagging tale practically propels the cart by itself.

The sister-bro team travel down sidewalks, waterfronts and even train tracks on their way to a romp that includes dives down a sliding board and twists on a merry-go-round. It’s adorakable, save for the poor modeling of walking on railroad tracks.

‘YOU BROKE THE FAITH’

Rep. Tammy Duckworth Pummels Government Contractor For Gaming Prep School Injury

ILLINOIS REP. TAMMY DUCKWORTH TODAY EXCORIATED A GOVERNMENT CONTRACTOR who she insinuates gamed the system to secure government contracts through a”set-aside” preferential for disabled veterans.

Braulio Castillo, owner of Strong Castle Inc., was awarded up to $500 million in government contracts by claiming he was disabled while playing sports at a military prep school in 1984.

Castillo filed — and received — a “disability rating” shortly before opening Strong Castle in 2012. Now the House Oversight Committee is investigating whether he received the contracts due to his relationship with IRS official Greg Roseman.

THE FABRIC OF OUR LIVES?

Does This Drone Art Normalize The New War Machines?

MOTHER JONES INTERVIEWS Pakistani artist Mahwish Chishty about her series of paintings transforming the most modern machine of warfare — drones — into beautiful works of art mimicking Pakistan’s “truck art” genre.

TEMPTATION ALL AROUND

For Your Gratuitous Delight: Gwyneth Paltrow Sashaying In Lingerie In New Movie Trailer

By Elizabeth Coady

FOR YOUR GRATUITOUS AFTERNOON DELIGHT, here’s the new trailer for Thanks For Sharing, Gwyneth Paltrow and Mark Ruffalo’s upcoming romcom about sex addicts finding love and laughter despite wanting to oink every sexual “object” walking by.

America’s “sexiest woman” and “sexiest man” join up to put the prettiest faces ever on the epidemic disorder known as sex addiction.

MICHAEL’S LIVING LEGACY

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Prince Jackson Testifies: ‘Nothing Will Ever Be The Same’

By Elizabeth Coady

MICHAEL JACKSON’S LEGACY EXTENDS BEYOND HIS MUSIC: HE LEFT BEHIND THREE CHILDREN WHOM he dearly loved and doted upon — and for whom he went to extraordinary lengths to protect from the public.

Now four years after the pop star’s death, Jackson’s composed eldest son Prince Jackson pulls back the curtain on his life growing up as the son of the famous pop star.

In 90 minutes of testimony today during Katherine Jackson’s wrongful death suit against concert promoter AEG Live LLC, the 16-year-old survivor says his father emphasized education, doing good in the world, and strove to protect them from a voracious public.

CAT’S CRADLE

Pretty Little Liars: Jumped…Or Pushed?

By Karen Malmquist

MONA IS MISSING AND ZACH IS BACK as the girls let Emily turn into Medusa. Yep, it’s a weird one!

The Pretty Little Liars head to The Brew and go through a box of toys taken from Jessica DiLaurentis. For some reason Mrs. D held onto Alison’s Legos, seemingly because they hold some kind of significance. Knowing Ali, she must’ve been really good at making model torture chambers out of them or something.

Ella’s boyfriend Zach has returned from the black hole he fell into last season, and the two are canoodling together over the cash register.

LIBERATED FROM THE LAB

National Institutes Of Health To ‘Significantly Reduce’ Use Of Chimps In Research

By Elizabeth Coady

IN WHAT ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARE CALLING A ‘HISTORIC MOMENT,’ THE National Institutes Of Health announced that it would dramatically reduce the use of chimpanzees in research.

“Americans have benefitted greatly from the chimpanzees’ service to biomedical research, but new scientific methods and technologies have rendered their use in research largely unnecessary,” NIH Director Francis S. Collins, M.D., Ph.D. said in a statement.