CRAZY ENOUGH?

Al Pacino Appears Too Sane In This Phil Spector Trailer

By Elizabeth C.

HERE’S THE TRAILER FOR HBO’S UPCOMING BIOPIC ON LEGENDARY CRAZED MUSIC PRODUCER PHIL SPECTOR. As good an actor as Al Pacino is, he doesn’t look as delusional as Spector sounds in real life. Even with the wig.

Phil Spector, written and directed by David Mamet, airs on HBO on March 24. In addition to Pacino, the movie stars Helen Mirren portraying attorney Linda Kenney Baden, who represented him during his first trial for the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson.

FOR THE ‘THRILLS’

Porn Star Coco Brown Readies For Rocket Ride Into Space

NO, COCO BROWN IS NOT LAUNCHING A NEW GENRE OF PORN for fans with space fetishes. When the porn star blasts off in a Dutch rocket next spring, she’ll be doing it for the love of the thrill.

“I’ve always had a love of space,” the 34-year-old star of Black Panty Chronicles 2 and Big Booty Bomb 2 tells the British Sun. “I’m an adventurous person and I thrive off of excitement.”

EASY TARGET

Kim Kardashian Prefers Her Pistol With Bijan Jewels

WHEN THE INEVITABLE FALLOUT BETWEEN KANYE AND KIM KARDASHIAN KOMES, and one of them konsiders killing the other, rest assured that the krime will be kontemplated with a beautiful handgun.

Nothing short of a spectacular designer weapon would do for these fame hos. And how do we know? Because Kim, that most famous supplicant of celebrity, posted a jewel-encrusted pistol by the House of Bijan to her Instagram over the weekend. And not everyone was impressed.

HILARIOUS HOKUM

Pyongyang Propaganda Video Reveals Diabolical Dreams Of Bombing The U.S.

CAN SOPHIE SCHMIDT SHARE HER INSIGHTS ON THIS KNEE SLAPPER?

The delusional despots of Pyongyang have uploaded a bizarre video to YouTube depicting a North Korean man dreaming of bombs setting New York City ablaze as strains of Michael Jackson’s We Are The World play in the background. Background footage comes from the video game Call of Duty.

The propaganda video was uploaded to North Korea’s official channel over the weekend as the country taunts the world with threats of imminent nuclear tests. The production values are so corny that the video is mostly laughable even as it reveals the dark fantasies of the world’s most isolated nation.

STIRRING TROUBLE

The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Naming She Who Shall Not Be Named

By Karen Malmquist

JUST WHEN WE BELIEVED POLE-DANCING HELD CURATIVE POWERS FOR THE LADIES, THE Real Housewives of Beverly Hills turn on each other on Sunday’s new episode. And the trigger?

The possibility of nuclear weapons in Iran?

Naw, it was Adrienne. It’s always Adrienne.

FAKE OUT BOY

Fall Out Boy Announces New Album — & A Surprise Chicago Concert

By Jacob Wittich

Amid rumors that punk rock band Fall Out Boy would reunite, bassist Pete Wentz pooh-poohed the talk in an interview with the Chicago Tribune Sunday: “Don’t hold your breath that it’s happening.”

Monday morning, less than 48 hours after the denial, Fall Out Boy announced the band’s first album in three years, Save Rock and Roll, coinciding with a U.S. tour that begins tonight at Chicago’s Subterranean club. “You can take a breath now,” Wentz tweeted immediately after the announcement.

MENACE TO SOCIETY

FBI Raids Alabama Bunker, Frees 5-Year-Old Boy; Abductor Is Dead

THE ALABAMA KIDNAPPING ORDEAL THAT HAD DRAGGED ON FOR SIX DAYS ended this afternoon when FBI stormed an underground bunker and freed the 5-year-old hostage. The kidnapper 65-year-old Jimmy Lee Dykes is dead and the boy, named Ethan, has been taken to a hospital near Dothan, Ala. and is reportedly “OK.”

Authorities have not revealed how Dykes died.

An FBI spokesman said at a Monday afternoon news conference that agents decided to move in after negotiations with Dykes fumbled and authorities believed the boy’s life was in danger.

LATE NIGHT BOOTY CALL?

Instagram

Justin & Selena Moving On…To Inevitable ‘Exes With Benefits’ Stage?

By Elizabeth C.

GOSSIP WRITERS ARE HAVING A HARD TIME KEEPING UP WITH SELENA GOMEZ AND JUSTIN BIEBER’S up-and-down, ‘are they on-or-off?’ relationship, particularly after she was spotted leaving the pop prince’s house over the weekend.

• Are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Back Together … Again? asks MTV.
• “Are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez back on?,” wonders the New York Daily News.
• “Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez: Back together? muses PopBytes
• “Justin And Selena Are DEFINITELY Back On!,” Perez Hilton declares with certitude.

HE LIVED & DIED BY SWORD

DNA Proves Skeleton Uncovered From Ignoble Car Park Is King Richard III

By Karen Malmquist

THE BRITS ARE IN A ROYAL TIZZY over claims that a battered skeleton found underneath a Leichester car park has been proven to be that of the power-thirsty King Richard III.

Scientists at the University of Leichester claim DNA testing proves that the bones are that of the last “English monarch to die in battle, in 1485, at Bosworth Field against his successor, Henry VII. The intact skeleton, disinterred in September 2012, shows signs of severe head trauma as well as scoliosis, a curvature of the spine that the British ruler was known to suffer from.

SO FIERCE SHE BLEW THE LIGHTS

Burning Down The House: Beyonce’s Super Bowl Half Time Show

By Jacob Wittich

SASHA FIERCE BREATHES FIRE! Snatching weaves from all other pop stars, Beyonce burned smokin’ hot during a Super Bowl half time performance covering the greatest hits of her career.

Beyonce strutted on stage with her most fierce catwalk as 20-yard facial silhouettes ignited on either side of the stage. Clad in a black one-piece leather leotard and heels that left very little to the imagination, the diva posed on a platform lifting her high in the air as another silhouette of the Queen Bey ignited behind her.