TARGETED

Credit: Gawker

Armed & Dangerous: Police On The Hunt For Revenge Cop Dorner

By Elizabeth C.

SOME LOS ANGELENOS ARE WEARING MESSAGES ON THEIR CARS AND BODIES in hope they serve as prior restraint on Los Angeles Police officers.

The LAPD has twice now opened fire on vehicles with inhabitants that look nothing like their former brother Christopher Dorner, wanted for three revenge shootings for being forced off the force in 2008. In a long “manifesto” posted on Facebook, Dorner alleged his dismissal was punishment for reporting that a supervisor had kicked a schizophrenic man while under arrest. The former U.S. Naval reservist is the target of massive manhunt ongoing in South California and a $1 million dollar reward has been offered for information leading to his whereabouts.

But despite pleas by none other than Charlie Sheen for Dorner to turn himself in, there seems little likelihood that the fugitive will be taken alive. Officers opened fire on a pick-up truck occupied by Margie Carranza, 47, and her mother, Emma Hernandez, 71. The women were delivering newspapers for the Los Angeles Times. Both women are expected to recover.

“No command, no instruction, no warning. They just opened fire on them,” attorney Glen Jonas said of the police who opened fire. He said his clients “had no idea what was going on. They’re huddling, covering up and praying and hoping they’re not going to die.”

A MELLIFLUOUS MELTING POT

Justin Timberlake: POTUS Of SWAGNATION

By Elizabeth C.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE WAS THE POTUS OF SWAG NATION at this year’s Grammys as the music award show served up a melting pot from red states and blue, and proving we’re all better for the mix.

The night’s common denominator: talent with heaps of attitude. And Justin Timberlake and Jay-Z’s swag may have outweighed talent in their albeit polished performance of Suit & Tie, followed by JT’s solo of Pusher Love Girl. Mrs. Carter, with help from Ellen Degeneres, introduced JT’s comeback performance with a command for the audience to rise. Then Jay-Z joined him onstage, and his constituents responded as though he was the hope they’d been waiting for.

NOTABLE PERFORMANCES

Fun - Carry On - Grammys 2013

Fun Dominates The Grammy Performances (And The Band fun. Shines Too)

By Jacob Wittich

THE 2013 GRAMMY AWARDS ARE A MILLION WORDS BEHIND US, but here’s the word under which to file the memory: Fun.

Kicking off the festivities was Taylor Swift with her own quirky performance of We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. The country star transformed the Grammy stage into a carnival. She danced around while carnies tortured the star’s pretend-ex-boyfriend. Given the star’s history of putting ex-boyfriend’s on blast in her songs, the performance accurately demonstrated Swifty’s idea of revenge.

ALWAYS A MATERIAL GIRL

Oh, Snap! Madonna Joins Instagram To Promote Her New Fitness Studio

By Elizabeth C.

JUSTIN BIEBER WASN’T THE ONLY ONE TRYING TO STEAL ATTENTION FROM THE 55TH GRAMMY AWARDS Sunday. Madonna officially joined Instagram, posting six photos for social promotion website.

“Cheers motherf-ckers!,” toasted the Give Me All Your Luvin songstress while sipping from a martini glass. “I’m on Instagram.”

A second snap showed a tight shot of the superstar’s cleavage and was tagged with the comment, “Addicted to sweat.”

SUICIDE NOTE?

Here’s The Full Text Of Christopher Dorner’s Manifesto

From: Christopher Jordan Dorner /7648

To: America

Subj: Last resort

Regarding CF# 07-004281

I know most of you who personally know me are in disbelief to hear from media reports that I am suspected of committing such horrendous murders and have taken drastic and shocking actions in the last couple of days. You are saying to yourself that this is completely out of character of the man you knew who always wore a smile wherever he was seen. I know I will be villified by the LAPD and the media. Unfortunately, this is a necessary evil that I do not enjoy but must partake and complete for substantial change to occur within the LAPD and reclaim my name. The department has not changed since the Rampart and Rodney King days. It has gotten worse. The consent decree should never have been lifted. The only thing that has evolved from the consent decree is those officers involved in the Rampart scandal and Rodney King incidents have since promoted to supervisor, commanders, and command staff, and executive positions.

The question is, what would you do to clear your name?

SAN BERNARDINO SHERIFF ON DORNER FIRE: YOU HEARD WRONG

CBS FOOTAGE OF SHOOTOUT WITH DORNER ILLUSTRATES ”MILITARIZATION” OF POLICE

AUDIO SUGGESTS AUTHORITIES SET FIRE TO CABIN CHRISTOPHER DORNER WAS HOLED UP IN

WTF

Manhunt For Alleged Killer Ex-Cop Turns Bizarre As Charlie Sheen Intervenes

By Elizabeth C.

SLOW CLAP FOR TMZ ON THIS ONE: The online tab paid a visit to the “effin awesome” wizard of controversy Charlie Sheen who rewarded it with a video plea to accused killer and ex-Los Angeles police officer Christopher Dorner.

“Christopher Dorner, this is Charlie Sheen,” says the Anger Management star while looking straight into the camera. “You mentioned me in your manifesto, so thank you for your kind words. I’m urging you to call me. Let’s figure out together how to end this thing. Call me I look forward to talking to you.”

GLOBAL WARMING

Fire On Ice: Kate Upton Goes ‘Polar Bare’ For Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition

By Elizabeth C.

BOMBSHELL KATE UPTON, STAR OF YOUTUBE’S SEXIEST “CAT Daddy Dougie” instructional, heats up the cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit edition for the second year in a row. The issue hits newsstands Feb. 12.

“We can finally talk about Antarctica!” Upton tweeted Friday evening shortly after the cover was leaked. “Took us 2 months to thaw out.”

ROLLING THE DICE

Britney Spears Gambles On Las Vegas

By Elizabeth C.

IT’S VIVA LAS VEGAS FOR BRITNEY SPEARS AS THE POP STAR PICKS UP HER CAREER EAST OF HOLLYWOOD.

Extra reports that BritBrit’s deal with Caesars Entertainment Group is nearly signed and sealed, and an official announcement is expected “soon.”

LOST LEGACY

Report: Jesse Jackson Jr. Signs Plea Deal With Feds

By Elizabeth C.

CHICAGO’S NBC5 is reporting that disgraced former Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. has signed a plea deal that could include jail time for using campaign contributions for personal use. He will be sentenced by an as-yet assigned federal judge.

Jackson resigned from Congress last November just two weeks after being re-elected to Illinois’ 2nd congressional district for his 10th term, and three months ago after mysteriously disappeared from his office on Capitol Hill. After much press speculation, the son of Civil Rights leader Jesse Jackson Sr. finally claimed he was being treated for bipolar disorder, depression and “gastrointestinal issues.”

STILL BURNING HOT

Lord Jesus, She’s On Fire: Sweet Brown Cashes In On Internet Fame

By Elizabeth C.

THE POP-SWILLING, JESUS-LOVING, BRONCHITIS-SUFFERER SWEET BROWN HAS officially crossed over from pop culture meme into bankable personality.

Brown’s fame arrived one early April morning in 2012 when she gave an animated interview to Oklahoma City’s NewsChannel4 about an apartment fire that spread like its own blaze on the Internet.

“Well, I woke up to get me a cold pop. And then I thought somebody was barbecuing. I said, ‘Oh Lord Jesus, it’s a fire.’ Then I ran out, I didn’t grab no shoes or nothing, Jesus. I ran for my life. And then the smoke got me, I got bronchitis! Ain’t nobody got time for that.”