TUMMY BUG?

Aussie DJs Get Princess Catherine Update During Dumbfounding Prank Call

By Elizabeth C.

WELL, THIS IS ROYALLY EMBARRASSING. A pair of cheeky Australian DJs prank-called the hospital at which Princess Kate is recuperating from a bad bout of morning sickness and got an update on her condition.

Mel Greig and Michael Christian, hosts of The Summer 30 program on Sydney’s 2Day FM radio station, dialed up King Edward VII Hospital pretending to be Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Charles seeking information on Kate’s status. With shocking ease, the hospital operator put through the call to the Duchess’ nurse.

“Hello there, may I please speak to Kate please, my granddaughter,” the female host sniffs to the operator. “Oh yes, hold on madam,” comes the response followed by momentary silence.

“Are they putting us through? If this has worked, it’s the easiest prank call we’ve ever made,” guffawed Christian. “Your accent sucked by the way.”

ANCHORING THEIR LEGACIES

Something Old, Something New: Fleetwood Mac Announces 2013 Tour, HBO Teases Beyonce Special

By Elizabeth C.

THE BAND THAT MADE LOVIN’ FUN, AND THE ONCE-SINGLE LADY (BEFORE JAY PUT A RING ON IT), are both making sound waves today.

TSK TSK

Credit: Bravo

Beautiful Loser: Brandi Glanville’s Got A Problem

By Trisha B.

BRANDI GLANVILLE HAS A BEAUTIFUL FACE, A KILLER BODY, a starring role in a reality TV show and a book deal. She also has a filthy mouth and low self-esteem. Her forthcoming tome, Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders, is about divorce. But I wouldn’t buy it because she continually proves she knows nothing about divorcing well.

UNSOLVED MYSTERY

A New Chapter In Cold Blood? Detectives Seek DNA From Notorious Killers

By Elizabeth C.

THE CRIME SHOCKED A NATION AND SPAWNED AN ENTIRELY NEW LITERARY GENRE: TRUE CRIME. The 1959 murders of Herbert Clutter, his wife and two children in Holcomb, Kansas, was the subject of Truman Capote’s literary masterpiece, In Cold Blood. The book recounts the killings committed by ex-cons Richard Hickok and Perry Smith, both executed in 1965.

Now the two notorious convicts are being investigated as the culprits in a similar crime that happened only one month later near Sarasota, Fla.

SOMETHING TO PONDER

Actors’ Mini Backlash Against Hollywood’s ‘Filth’

By Elizabeth C.

IT’S BEEN A BIT OF A TREND LATELY: ACTORS publicly decrying soul-corroding roles. Mandy Patankin, Angus T. Jones and now Leo DiCaprio have all wondered aloud if Hollywood’s going too far.

DOWN & DIRTY

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Rolling In The Deep

By Karen Malmquist

NOT EVEN GETTING HAMMERED AND ROLLING AROUND ON the floor could keep these women from getting nasty with each other. On Monday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the only time the ladies who lunch manage to get along is when they’re rubbing mud on each other’s bodies, or too drunk to remember they don’t like each other.

WANTS HIS ‘PIECE OF THE PIE’

Credit: Robert Caplin for The New York Times

Shoeless, Homeless, Heartless? Is N.Y. Homeless Man Gifted With Sketchers A Scammer?

By Elizabeth C.

WELL, THIS IS BUBBLE-BUSTING: THE homeless man gifted with a pair of $75 Sketchers by a New York Policeman might be a con artist preying on tourists.

DISPATCHES FROM THE ROAD

Hiding In Full View: Chris Brown & Rihanna

By Elizabeth C.

I FOR ONE AM GRATEFUL TO RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN FOR POSTING flirty dirty pictures on their Instagram feeds. It’s called ‘free content,’ folks!

The latest soft erotica compliments of Brown shows the singer smoking a cig while Rihanna sits nearby in bra wrapped in a camouflage blanket. You can’t hide from us, RiRi! Nor do you seem to want to.

TOO CLOSE

Chicago’s ‘Close’ Call With Alex Clare

By Jacob Wittich

BRITISH SINGER-SONGWRITER ALEX CLARE BROUGHT his band to Chicago’s Metro Theater Sunday night to deliver a satisfying performance of his alternative rock sound.

Slow off the start, Clare entered the stage after being introduced by his band mates, then took a few moments to settle in before seducing the crowd with the eerie Relax My Beloved. He followed that up with Whispering, both off his first album, The Lateness of the Hour.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Fate Accompli: Princess Kate Is Pregnant

AT LAST, THE WORLD’S BUSY BODIES AND ROYAL WATCHERS CAN breathe knowingly while getting busy knitting booties: Her Royal Highness Princess William, Duchess of Cambridge, is pregnant.

US confirmed the news with staff at St. James Palace.