OBVIOUSLY NOT A PET PERSON

Lord Has Mercy: Kim Kardashian’s Short-Lived Kitten Is Dead

By Elizabeth C.

CAN WE GET AN AUTOPSY?

Kim Kardashian revealed that her beautiful white kitty Mercy died due to “stomach problems” at the tender age of four months.

According to E!, the kitten had contracted a “fatal virus which acts like a cancer” and had to be euthanized.

But the reality star also disclosed that she had given away the kitten only a month after receiving her.

CONTEXT IS MISSING

Psy Apologizes For His Anti-American Rants

By Elizabeth C.

INTERNATIONAL K-POP PHENOMENON PSY IS CATCHING HEAT FOR NOT ONE BUT TWO ANTI-AMERICAN PERFORMANCES HE DELIVERED IN THE EARLY DAYS OF AMERICA’S WAR WITH IRAQ.

As of 10:30pm Friday, a whopping 79 percent of respondents in an unscientific MSN survey thought that the Gangnam Style millionaire should not perform at the December 21 Christmas in Washington concert that President Obama is expected to attend.

The U.S.-educated South Korean pop star rapped incendiary lyrics about killing Americans during a 2004 anti-war protest.

HOOKING UP

LiLo Gets Cozy With The Wanted’s Max George

By Jacob Wittich

LINDSAY IS TAKING HER ALCOHOL-INDUCED ANTICS ON THE ROAD, following The Wanted’s Max George along the East Coast for Justin Bieber’s Believe tour.

Rumors of a romance between the two began circulating after Lohan’s recent bar fight with a fortuneteller which led to her most recent arrest on Nov. 29.

TRAGIC

Credit: The Inquisitr

Nurse Pranked In Princess Kate Hoax Kills Self

By Elizabeth C.

A NURSE WHO WAS PRANKED INTO CONNECTING TWO DJ TRICKSTERS to PRINCESS KATHERINE’S HOSPITAL CARETAKER IS BELIEVED TO HAVE KILLED HERSELF.

Jacintha Saldanha, 46, was found unconscious 9:35am by Scotland Yard officers and later declared dead by responders. She was the King Edward VII Hospital employee who put through the prank call from Australian radio personality Mel Greig pretending to be Queen Elizabeth. Her on-air partner Michael Christian posed as Prince Charles during the same trick.

Saldanha, the mother of two childrens, had worked at the hospital for four years. She was described as “an excellent nurse and well-respected and popular with all of her colleagues” in a hospital statement.

NO HARD FEELINGS

Jersey Shore Recap: Waking Ghosts In The Machines

By Karen Malmquist

AS THE END APPROACHES FOR OUR FAVORITE HOT MESSES, the Jersey Shore gang to put their differences aside and hug it out like a couple of reunited drunk college girls at a party.

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

Credit: The Recording Academy

Who’s In, Who’s Out, At The 55th Grammys

By Jacob Wittich

ECLECTIC IS THE NEW BLACK AT THIS YEAR’S GRAMMY NOMINATIONS. A diverse mix of ROCK, POP, R&B and Hip Hop stars snared nominations at the 55th Awards Nominations Concert held Wednesday in Nashville.

As usual, Kanye West lead in nominations with a total of six nods, sharing top billing with collaborator Jay Z, The Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach, and breakout stars fun. and Frank Ocean.

SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND

Mankind’s Mark On Earth Illuminates NASA ‘Black Marble’ Night Shots

Staff

NASA RELEASED PHOTOGRAPHS THIS WEEK THAT IT SAYS PROVIDE AN ”unprecedented new look at our planet at night.”

The set of 24 images uploaded to Flickr were constructed “using cloud-free night images from a new NASA and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) satellite,” and show “the glow of natural and human-built phenomena across the planet in greater detail than ever before.”

ADORKABLE

This One’s A Holiday Keeper: Mariah Carey, Jimmy Fallon & The Roots

By Elizabeth C.

CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY LAST NIGHT WHEN MARIAH CAREY DELIVERED HER GIFT OF SONG TO Jimmy Fallon and The Roots band during a visit to the late night show.

Wearing a slinky red dress, Mariah joined Jimmy on the set decked for the holidays to sing her by-now classic, All I Want For Christmas. The warm collaboration was as toasty as a cup of cocoa and as fuzzy as pair of slippers. And it also helped explain why Questlove gets invited to the cool kids’ weddings.

LOVE IN THE TIME OF TWITTER

Credit: RobKardashian on Instagram

Rob Kardashian Spews Venom Then Backtracks On Twitter

By Jacob Wittich

R.I.P. to the couple that used to be Rob Kardashian and Rita Ora, whose romance is over.

Proof of last week’s tabloid reports that Kardashian and Ora went kaput was spilled when Rob ‘tweeted and deleted’ an angst-filled message which everyone assumes was about his ex.

WE’RE ON HER SIDE

KE$HA’s Warrior: Fighting For Her Right To Party

By Jacob Wittich

KE$HA’S latest studio album Warrior documents her transformation from Jack imbiber (Tik Tok) into wine drinker (Only Wanna Dance With You).

But don’t read too much into this exchange of spirits — she’s still swigging “on the cement outside 7-11.”