FABULOUSLY DELUSIONAL

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: That Hood Rat Is A Tramp

By Karen Malmquist

THE VERY FORMER MISS USA IS TWIRLING HERSELF into a tizzy over who’s classy and who’s ghetto and who’s the crazy one. (It’s Kenya, people. Kenya’s the crazy the one).

The madness began last week when Kenya started flirting with every man in Anguilla, but specifically Apollo. Phaedra is obviously upset that Kenya asked who she would want Apollo to “have fun” with for a night. Tonight Phaedra and Kenya explain their sides of the story. Kenya says she was just having fun, but Phaedra isn’t playing around.

REACTIONS TO HORROR

Credit: Reuters

What They’re Saying About The Newtown, Conn. Massacre

By Elizabeth C.

CONCRETE DETAILS ARE FINALLY EMERGING ABOUT THE GUNMAN WHO SLAUGHTERED 26 PEOPLE at a Newtown, Conn. elementary school. The most revelatory detail is that Adam Lanza had a disorder that made him unable to feel. That single fact gives insight as to how the 20-year-old man could shoot his mother in the face, then shoot 20 children multiple times at close range.

“If that boy would’ve burned himself, he would not have known it or felt it physically,” Richard Novia, who formerly advised a school technology club to which Lanza belonged, told the Associated Press. “It was my job to pay close attention to that.”

TICKING TIME BOMB?

Conflicting Reports & Shooter Descriptions Make Crime Hard To Fathom

By Elizabeth C.

THERE’S BEEN NOTHING MATTER-OF-FACT ABOUT THE REPORTING ON 26 VICTIMS GUNNED DOWN AT A CONNECTICUT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FRIDAY, the second worst school shooting in U.S. history.

At first, the name of the shooter was misreported most of Friday. Then there were claims that the shooter’s father was found dead inside a New Jersey house. And even late tonight, there are conflicting reports about whether Adam Lanza’s mother Nancy did or didn’t work at Sandy Hook Elementary School where her son opened fire on children as young as five.

The pieces of the puzzling portrait emerging about the 20-year-old boy who used his mothers’ guns to kill are just as ill-fitting.

STORY STILL DEVELOPING

Connecticut School Shooter Identified As Ryan Adam Lanza

NNEWS REPORTS HAVE IDENTIFIED as 20-year-old Adam Lanza as the shooter who entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Conn., shot administrators in the office and then moved to a classroom and opened fire, according to the Associated Press.

AGAIN

Live Coverage: 28 Killed At A Conn. Elementary School

By Elizabeth C.

HERE’S A LIVE FEED FROM A CONNECTICUT NBC STATION IN REPORTING ON THE HORRIFYING SHOOTING AT THE Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. this morning.

Details are still emerging but so far reports indicate that the shooter, identified moments ago as 24-year-old Ryan Lanza, is dead inside the building, along with another 26 victims, including as many as 18 children.


Early news reports claimed that Lanza’s mother was a kindergarten teacher at the elementary school but that too is now being disputed.

UPDATE: A FORMER SCHOOL BOARD OFFICIAL IN NEWTON TOLD THE WALL STREET JOURNAL THAT NANCY LANZA HAD NO CONNECTION TO THE SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. “No one has heard of her,” Lillian Bittman, who served on the local school board until 2011,
commented to the paper. “Teachers don’t know her.”

‘CLASSIC’ DATE NIGHT

Katy Perry Calls John Mayer ‘Boyfriend’ Backstage At Broadway’s ‘Christmas Story’

By Jacob Wittich

KATY PERRY AND JOHN MAYER enjoy a holiday date night, and while we’re not sure whether they made the naughty or nice list this year, one thing is for certain: the two are officially a ‘couple.’

MAGIC MIKE & THE WANNABE MEATBALLS

Jersey Shore: A Recipe To Shake It

By Karen Malmquist

AMERICA’S STRIPPER OBSESSION CAME TO A SCREECHING HALT Thursday when the Jersey Shore‘s ‘The Situation’ turned out to be a not-so- “Magic” Mike. It’s nice to see that he’s bonded so well with the roommates this season, but if he wanted them to take him seriously again, maybe trying to relive his stripper days wasn’t such a great idea.

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE

Credit: DeathAndTaxes

Courtney Love Not Amused By So-Called Nirvana Reunion

By Jacob Wittich

COURTNEY LOVE IS NOT ONE TO “CUT SOME SLACK” when it comes to substituting dead husband Kurt Cobain with Paul McCartney for a Nirvana band reunion.

Nirvana survivors — Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic and Pat Smear — regrouped for their first time in 20 years to perform at the 12/12/12 Hurricane Sandy benfit concert held at Madison Square Garden. Joining them as frontman was Sir Paul, per Grohl’s request.

Online tabloid tracked down Cobain’s difficult ex for comment and she was only happy to oblige, confiding she was “not amused” by McCartney’s stand-in for her late husband.

THREE STOOGES

From L to R, Martin, Ruane, Staake

Conspirators Wanted to Make Justin Bieber ‘Jingle Ball’ Less’

By Jacob Wittich

AN OBSESSED JUSTIN BIEBER FAN WAS HOPING TO MAKE THE POP STAR JINGLE BALLLESS.

According to Albuquerque’s KRQE news, Dana Martin, currently serving in a New Mexico prison for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old girl 12 years ago, enlisted former fellow inmate Mark Staake and his nephew Tanner Ruane to kill and then castrate the Canadian pop star.

THAT’S FIERCE

Coolest Sister Ever Lobbies Hasbro To Make ‘Gender Neutral’ Easy Bake Oven For Brother

By Elizabeth C.

McKENNA POPE, WILL YOU BE MY SISTER?

How cool is it that this 13-year-old New Jersey teen has created an online petition to persuade Hasbro to make a boy-friendly Easy Bake Oven. That’s because her “favorite chef in the world” is her 4-year-old brother who loves to cook, and who really wants a toy oven for Christmas.

But when Pope went shopping, she discovered that they only came packaged for girls in purples and pinks.