LATE BLOOMER

Jersey Shore Recap: Drunk Deena Keeps Walking The Line

By Karen Malmquist

NOW THAT DEENA’S SOBERED UP AFTER HER ARREST, it’s time for round two on Thursday’s Jersey Shore, this time with more hysterical crying.

Nicole almost sets her house on fire, Ronnie learns a little too much about Deena’s sex life, and Vinny and Pauly finally have the romantic photo shoot they’ve been dreaming of. But first…

THE OBVIOUS CHOICE

George Lucas’ $4.05 Billion Charity: A No-Brainer

By Elizabeth C.

GIVE HIM A HAND: 68-YEAR-OLD GEORGE LUCAS IS PUTTING HIS HOUSE IN ORDER, SELLING HIS BELOVED Star Wars enterprise and donating the $4.05 billion in proceeds to the cause of education.

This is fantastic, generous, inspiring, but it’s also his only choice.

Even before selling LucasFilms Ltd. to Disney, the film director already ranked No. 120 on The Forbes 400 list with an estimated net worth of $3.3 billion dollars, the equivalent of the annual budget of the New York Police Department. It’s what the state of Delaware spends in an entire year. It’s a billion more than Oprah has.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Fact & Fiction Blur In Strange Story About Man Who Sued Wife Over ‘Ugly’ Baby

By Elizabeth C.

TRUE OR NOT, A GOOD STORY TRAVELS FAR AND WIDE, WHICH EXPLAINS why an eight-month old tale out of China is just hitting American shores. Way back in February, a Macedonian website reported a case about a Chinese man who sued his wife for delivering an an ugly baby.

‘THE MAINSTREAM HATES WOMEN’

Credit: MisterISK at DeviantArt

Alice Glass Lobs Verbal Bombs At Music’s Mainstream

By Elizabeth C.

MY FAVORITE FORM OF THERAPY IS LISTENING TO MUSIC, LOUDLY. I’m convinced that individual souls sync with different radio waves, and finding your sweet spot on the dial delivers a transcendent high. A favorite to blast is the melancholic electronica of Crystal Castles. Today, the band’s vocalist Alice Glass gives me another reason to tune in.

AS AMY WEEPS, SO WEEPS A NATION

Politically Weary 4-Year-Old Emotes Tears Of A Nation

By Elizabeth C.

EXACTLY 1,596,825 SNICKERS HAVE BEEN UNLEASHED by the crying 4-year-old shown above.

“I’m tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney,” wails Abigael Evans of Colorado while emoting the tears of a collective nation.

YOU CAN HIDE BUT YOU CAN’T RUN

Here’s Halloweenies Robsten Wearing Soulless Masks

By Elizabeth C.

YOU DON’T FOOL US, ROBSTEN. We know it’s you behind those opaque Halloween masks that make their wearers look like soulless shells.

The (faux?) lovers were spotted walking hand-in-hand into Hollywood Forever Cemetery’s Halloween bash Wednesday night where they were joined by California Gurl Katy Perry.

THE VICTIMS

The Human Cost Of Superstorm Sandy: Names Of The Identified Dead

By Elizabeth C.

THE PICTURES AWED, BUT NOW THE HUMAN COST of the Superstorm Sandy emerges.

The death toll reaches 74 in the U.S. and is expected to climb. Neither young nor old, black nor white, were spared by the surging flood waters and near-100 mile winds. Here are the names of the identified dead so far: