GAME. SET. MATCH.

Robert DeNiro Dresses Down A ‘Rude’ Jay-Z

By Elizabeth C.

AS WE ALL KNOW JAY-Z LIVES IN A PERPETUAL EMPIRE STATE OF MIND. And with good reason too: homey’s hanging out with the Prez in the White House, rapping doctored ditties on the campaign trail, and counting his estimated worth of $460 million. And if you factor that all Jay’s success followed after shooting his brother and dealing dope well into his record career, well, it’s enough to give anyone a big head.

But even the reigning king of hip hop needs to respect his bad-ass elders. And who better to put him in his place than the Raging Bull Robert De Niro.

UPPING THE DRAMA

Cray + Cray Equals Cray Cray: Daniel Staub Returns To Real Housewives Of New Jersey

By Karen Malmquist

AS IF LEGITIMATE CRAZY PERSON TERESA GIUDICE ISN’T ENOUGH, Bravo has offered Danielle Staub a contract to appear in upcoming episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey. So would she be contractually obligated to come in and scowl and feel attacked again, or have the cameras magically captured one of the housewives trying to kill her again?

SELF-REVOLTING

Joaquin Phoenix Wants To Explain That Oscar Dig

By Elizabeth C.

WE’LL HAVE TO FORGIVE JOAQUIN PHOENIX’S DISCOMFORTURE INSIDE his own skin. The critically acclaimed actor has a penchant for putting a foot in his mouth, most recently when he lambasted the race for the Oscars as “utter bullshit…the stupidest thing in the whole world.”

Phoenix made the comment to Interview during a chat to promote his self-abnegating role as the aimless itinerant Freddie Quell in The Master, a role for which he’s expected to receive an Oscar nomination.

KARMA, BABY

Now It’s Matt Lauer’s Turn To Be Targeted In Whisper Campaign

By Elizabeth C.

MATT LAUER IS FINDING OUT THAT IF YOU LIVE BY THE LEAK YOU CAN ALSO DIE BY ONE.

NBC’s longtime anchor of Today is now the subject of a whisper campaign that his time is up at the former ratings juggernaut.

The show has lost its ratings advantage to Good Morning America despite the network’s torpedoing former cohost Ann Curry in late June.

EYE SPY

Petraus Scandal Shows Federal Surveillance Equal Opportunity Dragnet

By Elizabeth C.

THERE IS A BRASS LINING IN THE HOARY SEX SCANDAL ENGULFING TWO HIGH-RANKING MILITARY MEN: At least we now know that no one is exempt from America’s ballooning surveillance state.

There’s rich irony in the “cloak and shag her” scandal engulfing Washington.

HEELS OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Unicorn Party Poopers

By Karen Malmquist

WE WERE TREATED TO THE SLOW SPARKS OF HIGH-HEELED BOYS ON Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as Paul and Mauricio’s bromance reached new heights while racing in high heels for charity. Meanwhile, the ladies begin setting the stage for some serious drama this season.

PREPARING FOR THANKSCHRISTMAS

Win This Vintage Shiny Bright Ornament Christmas Wreath

By Elizabeth C.

I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY CREEPING EVER EARLIER. With a personal motto being — “everything goes better with glitter” — the holidays can’t come soon enough.

‘ASK A NETWORK HEAD’

Fake MTV Executive Tells Real Story Behind Demise Of Music Videos On Network

By Elizabeth C.

ARE YOU STILL COMPLAINING MTV DOESN’T PLAY MUSIC VIDEOS ANY MORE? That cliched chestnut is nothing more than a “hip form of rebellion against the man,” accuses this faux MTV executive, aka sketch comedian Brian Firenzi. It also reveals you’re old.

KING OF THE HILL

Leo DiCaprio Ignores The Birdies, Parties With His Bros, At 38th Birthday Party

By Elizabeth C.

TTHE WOLF OF WALL STREET TURNED into Leo The Lionhearted when alpha player DiCaprio hosted a Tag Hauer fundraising event at the American Museum of Natural History to benefit the New York Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund.

But as soon as that requisite good deed was done, the perennial playboy headed to a late-night New York haunt to celebrate his 38th birthday.

THE ‘CLOWN’ CROWN

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: The Reigning Queen Of Crazytown

By Karen Malmquist

“IM REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, CYNTHIA, AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, but I’m Kenya Moore and I’m more important than you!”

Kenya Moore has certainly made an impression on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, trying to hijack Cynthia Bailey’s spotlight TWICE at events thrown by the supermodel.