A NEW SOMBERTOWN

Doggonit! Pennsylvania Town Wants To Banish Pooches

By Elizabeth C.
APPARENTLY THE RUBES LEADING IN BEAVER Falls, PENNSYLVANIA ARE TAKING A PAGE RIGHT OUT OF SOMBERTOWN, the depressing burgh in SANTA Claus Is Coming To Town that banished toys after Burgermeister Meisterburger tripped over a toy duck.

But it’s not toys that the petty tyrants want to ban from the town’s center — it’s dogs. Yes, the town leaders are considering outlawing mankind’s most loyal friend friends from a 10-block area in the downtown business district because of “irresponsible” owners.

FED UP WITH HER PHONINESS

Alexis Bellino Is Out AT Real Housewives Of Orange County

By Trisha B.

HAAAAALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH! Why am I singing? I just found out that there’s a possibility that I will never again have to see Alexis Bellino’s face.

NOBLESSE OBLIGE

Record-Breaking “The Scream” To Be Displayed At MOMA

By Elizabeth C.

THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE WHO SNARED Edward Munch’s “The Scream” for a cool $119.9 million at a Sotheby’s auction in May will temporarily share his bounty: money manager Leon Black is loaning it to the Museum Of Modern Art for six months.

The iconic pastel, depicting an alienating figure wearing a horrified expression, is one of four works by the Norwegian Expressionist entitled The Scream of Nature.

SMART

Glaceau Gets Free Advertising With Amusing Jennifer Aniston Video

By Elizabeth C.

THIS MIGHT BE AS CLOSE AS FANS EVER GET TO SEEING JENNIFER ANISTON PREGGERS.

The former Miss Lonelyhearts-turned-future-Mrs.Theroux channels her funny in this “home security tapes” leaked from her home. The secret video shows Jen revealing a pregnancy bump (she’s carrying triplets), “working out” with personal trainers, and hanging up her “Jennifer” hair for the night.

JUDGE MUCH?

Real Housewives Of New York: Sonja Throws Down(A Napkin)

By Trisha B.PREPARE TO GET REALLY FULL AS THE ACTION GOES from meal to meal, lunch to drinks to dinner. Ramona is having a post vacation dinner and guess who isn’t invited — Carole, Heather and Aviva!


But the first guest is Pamela Morgan, chef and owner of FLAVORS, a cookbook and an event and catering company. As her website bio states: Pamela is highly regarded as a special event planner, culinary consultant, cookbook author, food & entertaining editor for Hamptons’s Cottages and Gardens, culinary instructor and owner of FLAVORS. She is a member of Les Dames D’Escoffier, a leadership organization. Hoity, toity indeed. But she’s really just the hired help.

MRRR0WRR

Get Ready For Cat Fight On American Idol: Mariah Carey & Nicki Minaj Get Their Backs Up

By Elizabeth C.

FORGET THE TALENT, SOUNDS LIKE IT’S GOING TO BE MORE FUN TO WATCH AMERICAN IDOL FOR THE FIREWORKS: two of the season’s new judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj are “already at each other’s throats,” TMZ reports.

OVER THE THRESHHOLD

Blake Lively Steals A Kiss From Hubby Ryan Reynolds

By Elizabeth C.

BLAKE LIVELY PERFORMS SOME PDA FOR THE CAMERAS WITH NEW HUBBY RYAN REYNOLDS. The comely couple were photographed Sept. 9, the day after they became Mr. & Mrs. at an intimate affair held at Boone HaLL Plantation near Charleston, S.C. Look at that rock on her finger!

A CAT-ASTROPHE WAITING TO HAPPEN

Lord Have Mercy On Kim Kardashian’s New Pussy Cat

By Elizabeth C.

WAIT ‘TIL PETA HEARS ABOUT THIS: KIM KARDASHIAN’S SHOWING OFF HER PUSSY…CAT. BUT the lady is obviously clueless about felines.

KK picked up a beautiful white Persian kitty over the weekend and quickly uploaded the stunner’s photo to Instagram. “Meet Mercy,” she wrote in her first post.

21 QUESTIONS

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Never Trust A Kim Girl

By Karen Malmquist

IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING HOW YOU SPELL “DESPERATE,” it’s K-I-M.

One of the two Queens of Stirring the Pot, Kim D., went out of her way to out Melissa as a former stripper.

HAVEN’T YOU SEEN THESE BEFORE?

Kristen Stewart Goes Topless In On The Road

By Elizabeth C.

HEY VOYEURS, ARE YOU PAYING ATTENtION TO THAT OTHER FLASH OF BREAST IN THE NEWS? Not yet, apparently, because “royal breasts are special” .

But not to worry: another chance to steal glances at the twin peaks of a lovely approaches: when Kristen Stewart’s On The Road debuts in December, moviegoers will get to see her bits onscreen. And that doesn’t bother Kristen one bit.